


Code name:Frostbite

by faultymindpalace



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Assassins, Assassins evERYWHERE, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Backstory porn, Darcy is Bucky's Daughter, Darcy is Natasha's Daughter, F/M, Slow Burn, Stable Mental Health ???, first fic, non aou compliant, paternal love, what does that mean?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-04-05 00:27:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 79,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4158639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faultymindpalace/pseuds/faultymindpalace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't you just LOVE it when your past blows up on your face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Midnight Conversations

It’s been two weeks since Steve moved into the Tower after three months of unfruitful searches in D.C. It’s been two weeks and the deep frown Steve has never left his face. Darcy felt a little guilty. Okay, she felt A LOT guilty because she knew where her father was hiding. In fact, he was in New York.

She heard from Sam how the two of them searched every inch of what was left of Hydra for any clue as to where Bucky might be and came up with nothing. No sign of him anywhere. Hell, Sam wasn’t even sure if he was still in the country.

 Darcy sighed and looked at Steve who was staring at ceiling of the dim living room. A folder spread open in his lap.

Steve was wearing a shirt and sweatpants, his hair was untamed and there was evidence of sleep in his eyes. It was two am when Darcy went into the kitchen to fetch herself a warm drink and saw him in the next room over.

Darcy bit her bottom lip. It hurt to see the heartbroken look in Steve’s face. He slept for seventy plus years and woke up knowing all of his friends are dead. Darcy thought that maybe Bucky was this ray of hope of Steve that he still had a sense of home.

What broke her heart more is that Steve is so caught up in this wild goose chase to find him that maybe there was nothing of Bucky left, only the Winter Soldier. Darcy didn’t know for sure. She figured that the Winter Soldier was James Buchanan Barnes when SHIELD fell. Of course she knew there was a resemblance between him and Captain America’s bff, but she was never sure. Until she was reading the file Natasha dumped online.

When she was young, she would often hear him mumble out Steve’s name in the night. Whenever he would gaze out of the window and watch the snow fall, he looked like he was in a different place. Darcy calls out his name and he’ll respond in English, with a weird accent Darcy was always curious about. Then he would snap out of it.

Darcy was never really sure if her father was the same man Steve grew up with. She never really knew James Buchanan Barnes, only Yakov Yekmenev. It was the name they gave him, since no one wanted to call him the Soldier when off missions. Maybe her father was still the same man. This has been the longest for him to be out of cryo and the memories might be coming back. They never really talked about Steve, she avoided the topic, afraid he might have a breakdown. Usually her tactic was to let the memories come at their own time. It certainly helped her. 

Well, if she wanted to know if there was a difference between Steve’s bestfriend and the man who was currently hiding out in an abandoned apartment in the Bronx, she has to ask the blond sitting morosely in the red couch.

“Hey soldier.” She nudged his knee with hers, both of her hands holding two cups of coffee.

“Fancy a cup’a’joe?” she asked. Steve beamed at her and her gift. He sat up and took the warm mug.

“Thanks Darce. You’re a godsend.” He said appreciatively. Darcy smiled softly and took a seat beside him. Steve closed his eyes as he gulped down the coffee. Darcy cast her eyes down on the files and documents on his laps. She sees a picture of her father, his eyes wild and his fingers clutching a rifle.

Steve noticed and started shuffling the papers back to its folder. Darcy it was above her clearance then, but she already knew what she wanted to know and thought none of it.

“Sorry but Maria will kick my ass if someone got a look at it.” Darcy shrugged.

She leaned back on the couch and nursed the warm mug in her hands. She mimicked his position earlier and eyed the ceiling.

“Tell me about him.” Darcy asked.

Steve looked back at her, his blue eyes piercing.

“It’s classified.” He mumbled and looked away.

“I meant Bucky. Tell me about Bucky.” She corrected. He looked at her, searching what, Darcy didn’t know. Steve smiled this school boy smiled and _damn_. Darcy never thought he could look this endearing.

“Well,” he sighed and leaned back. “We met when we were six.” Both of them were now staring at the ceiling, pretending it was a starry night sky in the middle of a forest.

“ ’Was fighting some bullies. I was scrawny back then. I had a hard time fighting them off, you know, asthma was a bitch.” He quirked a smile. Darcy looked at him and he had that same faraway gaze that her father has whenever he has a flashback. It was like he was transported back in time.

“I could only imagine.” She said. Steve chuckled, still engrossed with his day dream.

“Then he came in and we both beat them up until they ran with their tails tucked between their legs.” He said rather proudly.

Then he told her how hard it was for him back in the day, with almost all ailment known to man. He got winded from climbing two flights of stairs, how it was hard for him during the cold winter nights.

“Bucky was always there through all of it. Never left my side since.” Darcy warmed at the thought. That part of him hadn’t changed. Darcy was certain. Her father was always caring, in his own way, the way the Red Room allowed. Darcy didn’t cry over it, she took what she can get.

“Always had a way with the ladies.” At this Darcy laughed out loud.  She imagined her father with his Winter Soldier get up trying to pick up chicks in the bar.

“It’s true.” Steve said reading on Darcy’s disbelief. “Always had a dame on his arm if he wanted to.” Darcy snorted.

“Let me guess, he would set up double dates and end up going home with both girls at the end of the night.” She guessed. Steve’s shy smile was her answer and she shook her head, a smile gracing her lips.

She sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. She placed her hand on his forearm.

“You think the man you’re finding is still Bucky?” she asked more to the ceiling than Steve. She felt him tense under her touch. She turned her head and looked at him. The dim light framing his profile. Blue eyes set and brows furrowed. A bit of his hair hanging down his forehead.

“I-“ he looked at her and she could see it, the hope mixed with fear and uncertainty in his cerulean eyes.

“I don’t know.” He whispered at her. Darcy’s gut wrenched because she knows. In that moment, she wanted to tell him. To say that there were still slivers of Bucky Barnes left in her father and she has seen it firsthand but she can’t, not yet.

Steve stared at her, as if he knows that she is holding something back. He opened his mouth to say something but he closed it.  

“In my opinion, I think there’s still some Bucky left in him. With just a little TLC, and some therapy, he can be rid of any brainwashing.” She said in a chipper tone as she stood, stretching her hands above her head. She felt giddy as Steve blushed when her shirt hiked up and exposed a little of her waist.

“How can you be so sure?” He asked with a little abrasiveness, probably tired of people’s faux optimism, just to sympathize him.

“Because he’s like you, a fighter.” She said with every ounce of truth in her. Steve looked at her in a way that made her toes curl. She looked at her feet, afraid that if they met gazes, she’ll melt. Then she had an idea.

She fished her phone out of her pocket, and started running JARVIS that Tony installed.

“I’m going to set up an alert for you.” Darcy said eagerly, her fingers swiping on the screen.

“A what?” Steve asked.

“It alerts me whenever there’s any latest happenings. I use it mostly on celebrity relationships but I guess this is more important.” She started putting up key words like winter soldier, Bucky Barnes, and metal arm.

When there was a ping, she smiled.

“So if there is any news on any social media site that a civilian posted of sighting Bucky, we will be the first to know.” She said flashing Steve her bright phone.

“That’s swell of you Darce.” He said with those smiles that made Darcy’s stomach flutter.

She ran her fingers in is hair and _God_ it was so soft. She let her fingers trail to his cheeks.

“Go to sleep Cap.” She said in soothing voice before bending over and pressing a kiss on his forehead. She didn’t know why she did it but she felt like it was the right thing to do. She stood back up and went for her room with a warm feeling on her chest and the idea that whoever her father turned out to be, Bucky Barnes or not, Steve would still love him as much as she does. 

 


	2. Not That Grand But Still A Reunion

                “ _Once there were Green fields, kissed by the sun._ ” Darcy sung as she baked. Her earphones nestled in her ear, the volume toned down just enough for her to listen to her surroundings.

                “ _Once there were valleys that rivers used to run.”_ Darcy thought back to last night and what happened between her and Steve, which was nothing. _Totally nothing._ She just wanted to figure more stuff about her father and Steve was being an angsty fifteen year old. He needed comfort, and maybe so did her.

All she wanted was for her father to come home. He was angry and she was too, after everything _they_ did to her. She could still feel it, the pure _rage_ , that made her blood boil and made her see red. She made it a point to not let it get to her. Rage was useless. Rage can lead you to do something you’ll regret, but anger? Anger is more reasonable, sensible. Anger is kindling while rage is like dousing gasoline at a burning inferno.

                Her father was operating in rage all right, for the first few weeks of the Hydra-SHIELD take down. She was trailing him all throughout D.C. without him noticing. She kept her distance for a short while, not knowing how he’ll react to her after so many years. Then one night he broke into the Smithsonian’s Captain America exhibit. He turned on the power and Darcy saw him go through all the memorabilia and accounts of his life before…

                He was standing in front of a hologram picture of him and Steve Rogers. They were both in their uniforms, arms on each other’s shoulders and Bucky holing a pint of beer. They looked happy. Darcy saw her father’s face go pensive, as he tries to remember. His hands turned into fists, and he closed his eyes in concentration.

                After a few minutes he sighed and looked at the picture again. He looked sad and wistful. That was the time Darcy knew that he remembered Steve. She smiled and was happy for both of them.

                She took a step forward and Bucky looked behind him and his eyes widened.

                /*Papa*/ Darcy said in Russian.

                /*What are you doing here?*/ he asked, his voice dark and gravelly.

                /*You remember me?*/ she asked, her voice resembling to a small child.

                /*Only that you’re my daughter.*/ he said. Darcy grinned and hugged him. He tensed for a little while, not knowing what to do with the unexpected contact. Then Darcy felt his arms wrap her, his head buried in her hair.

                /*It’s been a long time my little girl.*/ he said as she pulled away.

                /*I know papa.*/ she answered. He tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

                /*You have not aged a day*/ he said in a suspicious voice.

                /*Dermatologists hate me.*/ she tried to say it lightly but it came out as a nervous squeak. Her father glared at her as he remembered the haunting things that happened to her for the last seventeen years, the day they got separated.

                /*Oh my little girl*/ he mumbled as he held her again, tighter this time. Darcy pressed her face into his shoulder, trying to fight back the tears.

                /*Come home, Papa.*/ she practically begged him. Bucky shook his head.

                /*I have to find who did this to me, to us.*/ he said, his voice etched with venom. She looked into his eyes and saw the fire of rage and she shook her head. She could feel it to. She wanted to burn everything that had to do with HYDRA down to the ground. She wanted to make her tormentors suffer but that’s pointless now. She swore all those years ago that she is never going to go back to being the Asset’s daughter just because she was fucking pissed.

                /*Please papa. Steve is looking for you. He can help us.*/ She told him and his jaw tightened. Darcy sighed in resolution.

                /*I can’t join you papa. Not like this.*/ she told him and he nodded in understanding. She drew in a breath.

                /*I’ll help you hide. Only if you stay in touch, no matter what. I have to know where you are hiding and what you are about to do.*/ she said in a voice she uses on Jane on bargaining her to get outside the lab for at least one good night’s sleep.

                Bucky smiled at her fondly.

                /*I will my angel.*/ Bucky kissed her forehead. Then Darcy turned to switch the power back off, not before erasing the security camera feed and making it loop the footage from the night before. She went out the door, careful not to wake the unconscious security guard.

                Bucky was waiting for her outside by her car. She motioned for him to go inside but before he did, he grabbed the navy blue duffel bag in the back seat.

                “How long have you been tailing me?” he asked. Darcy was surprised that he was speaking English.

                Darcy rolled her eyes and scoffed as she started the ignition.

                “Don’t act like you didn’t notice.” Bucky just smiled as he rummaged in the bag. He plucked an elastic band and started tying his hair into a bun. Darcy made a turn, heading for the motel she rented out in the outskirts of the state. There were a lot of detours and potholes which she guessed was because of the chaos SHIELD/HYDRA caused.

                “You know, does the government throw a bitch fit about all the destruction whenever you superpeople have these epic battles.” She said as she leaned close to the windshield, navigating through the debris and damage.

                “I never planned for it to be this big of a scale. Steve’s the drama queen.” He mumbled, his head still buried in the duffel bag.

                Darcy fished out her iPod and mounted it on her car radio, connecting it. She has been planning her reunion for weeks, so she made the perfect playlist. So when Led Zeppelin started blasting through her speakers, her father froze his search.

                “He sounds familiar.” He noted. Then he continued his search but with his head nodding with the beat. Then it was like those cartoon moments where a light bulb suddenly turns on in their head. She smiled to herself as she started ticking off famous artists by decades from the 80s down to the 40s.

                He raised his head, a questioning look on his face as he waved a small case of lubricating oil in Darcy’s arm. Darcy smiled.

                “You know, for your arm.” She said. Her father looked taken aback.

                “Excuse me little girl but this is a scientific marvel.” He said, waving his hand over his arm.

                “Nice touch with the fingerless gloves.” She commented dryly.

                “How dare you talk to me like that young lady?” He said in his dad voice and Darcy tried not to laugh.

                “Oh I am anything but young.” She replied. “Plus what’s with the whole raccoon thing with your eyes. I’ve seen the pictures.” She glanced at her father.

                “It’s a disguise, you of all people know that, _Darcy Lewis_ ” he said as he read her driver’s license.

                “Touche.” She said a smirk on her lips. She felt a warmth all over her body and for a long time coming, she felt happy. His father was here whose mental psyche was of a broken porcelain doll but he was here on the safe side of sane and she was grateful.

* * *

 

                _Where are the Green fields that we used to roam?_ The song ended and Darcy was snapped back into reality when Clint called to her.  She was sitting on the floor now, watching her cupcakes in the oven.

                “You okay Darcy?” he asked, his brow raised in questioning. He sat on a high stool, his elbows leaning on the kitchen island.

                “Hmm? Yeah. I guess I spaced out a little.” She said, grabbing the edge of the counter for leverage, as she stood.

                “You sure? ‘Cause the oven isn’t even on.” He pointed out. Darcy checked and he was right. She clicked her tongue. _Focus or you’ll die, or worse._ Her father used to warn her. She shook the memory off and turned on the oven.

                “Thanks Clint.” She said. Clint still looked concerned for her but since she refused to talk about it he let it go.

                “So shortstack, how are you and Steve?” he teased and wiggled his brows. Darcy scoffed and made to clean the counter.

                “Don't you have arrows to shoot hawkguy?” She answered in a clipped tone, wiping flour off. He shrugged. He whistled a tune and drummed the marble surface before walking away. She looked at her watch and cursed at the time. She set the timer on the oven and went to her room to change.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is called Greenfields. I forgot who sang it but it's my grandpa's favorite song. It's a sad song. To be honest it fits well in this fic because this fic is sad MWUAHAHAHA. Also if any of the dialogue is inside the /**/. It means it was translated from Russian. (You know, like the comics do.) 
> 
> Comments are always welcome. :)


	3. The Big Reveal

                Darcy heard soft footsteps approaching the doorway. Once it stopped, her heightened hearing picked up on a gun being drawn. Then she grabbed a gun of her own and aimed it towards the door. She still leaned back on the old wicker chair and her feet propped over the coffee table, (which Darcy was proud to say that she hauled it from the dumpster by herself). To be honest, she didn’t click off the safety. She just pointed it for show. It was more dramatic that way.

                When the door opened slowly she saw the barrel of the gun and a left metal hand cupping the right. The door fully opened to reveal a clean shaven, still sporting the “man-bun”, Bucky Barnes wearing a hoodie and loose denim pants.

                “Hey Daddy.” She greeted waving her left hand but her right still aiming the gun. Bucky rolled his eyes and put down the gun.

                “Are you sure you weren’t followed?” he said as he walked towards the bed and sat on the edge.

                “Dad, it’s me.” She said condescendingly. “Plus, I’m just a glorified intern that seen some shit she wasn’t supposed to see so. I don’t matter.” She shrugged her shoulders in conclusion.

                “Aww.” Her father cooed and stood to kiss her forehead. He then reached out to pick a manila folder. “You matter _Iapochka_. More than you know.” He tipped her chin up and smiled at her. They never really said I love you to each other. They felt it and they know it. They just can't say it because all her life she was trained to think love was a weakness. They were each other's weakness and they knew it. In these little ways, they say it to each other without actually saying the word. That was how they were programmed. Sometimes, even though Darcy was far far away from the grip of the Red Room and the KGB she could still feel the cold vice, that’s why she sports that much winter wear.

                Darcy snorted, ruining the moment. “I didn’t come here to talk about me.” Her father groaned and plopped down on the floor.

                “Yes, dear father of mine.” She teased. “He’s a wreck.” She said after a pause. She didn’t even need to say who. Bucky knew.

                “And it’s my fault?” Bucky retorted. Darcy shrugged.

                “Why won’t you come home?” she asked.

                “I told you.” He said again, his tone getting harder.

                “And? Steve would gladly help you raise hell fire upon HYDRA. Heck, I would.” Bucky raised his brow at her.

                “Are you and Steve?” he didn’t even finish the question and Darcy’s cheeks turned crimson. She gaped like a fish. Then she narrowed her eyes.

                “If I say yes, will you finally come home and give him the ‘If you hurt my daughter I would unleash on you my KGB ex assassin skills’ talk?” Darcy asked in a hopeful voice.

                Darcy chewed on her lip as her father’s face hardened. She really hoped that she didn’t trigger something. Bucky shook his head.

                “No.” Darcy was relieved but irked. She pouted.

                “Then no, we’re not –in his terms- ‘fondue-ing’.” She said, with matching air quotes. “Plus he’s still probably hung up over Peggy.” He murmured to herself and casted her gaze down at the floor.

                Bucky propped himself on his elbows and looked at her. His eyebrows raising to his hairline.

                “But you want to ‘fondue’ with him.” He insinuated. Darcy groaned and buried her face in her hands.

                “Ugh Dad! I do _not_ want to have this conversation with you, ever.” Her voice muffled in her hands.

                He waved a noncommittal hand at her as he resumed lying on his back. “Don’t bother. If he likes you, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. Although, you have to make the first move, he does _not_ know his way around dames.”

                Darcy groaned again. “I can’t believe my dad is helping me get laid, with his best friend.”

                “Ah, I don’t know about the getting laid part, Steve’s a virgin.” Bucky started and Darcy _really_ wanted to shoot him.

                “Dad!” she squealed at him. Her whole face was like a cherry tomato. Then Darcy confirmed that there is no difference between Bucky and the Winter Soldier. Darcy smiled at herself, her father was getting better. He just needed to _fucking come home._

                “So, how’s the search?” Darcy asked, hoping to change the topic. He raised the manila folder over his head.

                He sat up and leaned against the wall. “How much do you remember about your mother?” Bucky asked.

                It was Darcy’s turn to tense up. “Only that she left us.” She said through clenched teeth.  

                “How about a description?” he asked again. She could feel a memory fighting to go to her consciousness. Darcy closed her eyes and shook her head.

                “No I don’t remember.” She said.

                “Yes you do.” Darcy looked at her father incredulously. “Because I do, and I have had my memory wiped more than you.”  

                Darcy sighed. “I told you. I don’t remember.” Bucky sat up and looked at her.

                “You don’t remember or you don’t want to remember.” Darcy rolled her eyes.

                “She left us, Dad. That’s all I want to know. That’s all I _need_ to know.” She spat.

                “You are a hypocrite lapochka.” Darcy placed her hand on her heart. Her eyes widened and jaw slacked. Bucky sat on the edge of the bed.

                “You said to me to accept the memories that are coming back. Yet here you are, suppressing your memories. Fighting back, trying to forget, civilian life has softened you lapochka. You want to be Darcy Lewis, glorified intern, so bad that you are willing to forget who you are, even your own mother.” He said slowly in a low voice. He didn’t look at her as he said it, he stared at the floor. Tears formed in her eyes because, to be honest with herself, it is true.

                “Stop psycho-analyzing me. That’s my job.” She joked half-heartedly. She wiped her eyes.

                _I am getting soft._ Thought Darcy.

                “I know lyubov moya.” He placed a hand on her knee. “I am getting better and it’s because of you. I realize now but I know what you feel.” He made towards her and sat across from her.

                “You’ve been fighting off these memories because you were all alone and afraid weren’t you?” he asked her softly. Darcy bowed her head and nodded in confirmation. She felt so ashamed. She was scared. All those years of training and she ended up scared. She’s a disgrace.

                “Shh.” Bucky tipped her chin up. “It’s okay to be scared, my little girl.” Tears started flowing down on Darcy’s face.

                Bucky shuffled backwards and opened his arms. Darcy climbed into bed and let her father wrap his arms around her. She begin sobbing hard into his shoulders.

                “I don’t want to remember.” She said between sobs. “I’ve got.” Darcy gasped for air. “I’ve got so much red!” Bucky tried to calm her. “So much red Dad!” she screamed into his shoulders. Bucky swayed from side to side, swaying Darcy with him.

                “It is all over, my little girl. There is nothing you can do.” He said soothingly. “Does anyone know?” he asked. Darcy shook her head no. Darcy kept sobbing and Bucky ran his metal hand through her hair and continued swaying.

                “Do you remember the lullaby you’re mother used to sing for you every night?” he asked her. Darcy quieted. Her breaths still hitched. Darcy squeezed her eyes shut.

                Bucky didn’t wait for a response before he started singing. His voice was rusty but he tried to get the melody right.

                /*Close your eyes my love*/ he began singing. His voice was hoarse and it hurt his throat a little bit but Darcy stilled in his embrace. So he kept singing.

               /*Close your eyes and dream*/ he sang and Darcy’s sobs turned into sniffles as she listened.

               /*Dream of a place where you and I*/ Darcy hiccupped and started to calm down, her mind reacting to the lilt of my lullaby.

               /*And your Papa too*/ Darcy heard her father chuckle and she smiled, she could feel a memory itching in the back of her mind and she let it surface. Nothing bad will happen, her papa is here.

               /*No more red.*/ Darcy hugged her father tighter. Bucky kissed her temple.

               /*No more black.*/  She shut her eyes and heard a woman’s voice singing instead of her father’s. Everything was dark and cold, but it didn’t matter. Everything was as warm and homey as it could get.

              /*Only the blue of our eyes.*/ All Darcy could see was tufts of red hair tickling her nose as her mother kissed her goodnight. She could feel her eyelids get heavy and all that was left of the memory was her mother calling out. _James._

              When Darcy woke up, the sky outside the window was dark.

              “Shit.” She cursed and squinted in the dark. When she adjusted her eyes she saw the moonlight shine off her father’s metal arm.

“What time is it?” she asked. Her eyes scanning the room for her glasses. Her father raised her glasses, which was practically useless, and tossed it her way. She caught it in her hand effortlessly and adjusted it.

“A little after nine.” He said. Darcy muttered a curse. She rubbed of the sleep in her eyes and checked her phone. She pressed the little button for it to turn on.

“Five messages and nine texts. Aw, they missed me.” She cooed.

“See you do matter.” He said encouragingly. He was reading the same folder under the moonlight.

Darcy rolled her eyes. She began to thumb through her texts.

“ _Hey Darcy, thers a certain supersoldier here who wants 2 talk 2 u ( ^u^). Also, where are you?”_

_“Darce, u’ve been gone 4 hours. Where are u?”_

_“Hellooooooo????”_

_“Darcy, I am worried. Tony too, says it’s been quiet in the lab without you nagging around. Please text back.”_

_“Darce this is Tony. Have you been kidnapped please reply?”_

_“DARCY REBECCA LEWIS I swear if you won’t reply on the next five minutes, I am gonna organize a city wide search. –T”_

_“Darcy it’s dark out and everyone is worried. Come home or we’ll assume the worst. –T”_

Darcy looked at the timestamp and saw that it was sent _two hours ago._ She didn’t bother to read the last two messages.

“Oh god.” Darcy stood.

“I’m gonna go before Tony triangulates my phone’s location.” She grabbed her purse and hurried to the door. She pecked a kiss on Bucky’s cheek. Before she went out the door Bucky walked to her and pressed the folder in her hand.

“Everything you need to know about your mother is in this folder.” He said seriously. Darcy paused but she accepted the file, eager to get out of the apartment before the whole god damn avengers show up. She nodded and went out the door, scurrying through some fallen debris until she arrived the alleyway. She zigzagged her way through tight alleys until she could hear traffic. When she was on the street she pulled out her phone and called Jane.

“Darcy! Oh my god, you’re still alive.” She heard Tony say with relief in his voice.

“Sheesh can’t a girl just accidentally sleep on the bus on her way home and managed to get a little detour. Plus it’s my day off what the hell.” She said as she shoved folder in her purse.

“A _little_ detour! Darcy you were supposed to be home 3 hours ago.” she heard Tony nag.

“You’re not my dad.” She said as she rode the subway. “Thank god you didn’t send the cavalry.” She thought of Steve busting in her father's hiding place. That would've been the most awkward situation in her life.

“You better be because I was on hold with CNN since 8 o'clock. I’ve been readying for a press release since Steve came in here looking for you, worried like an old man who misplaced his LifeAlert. Wait, I’m still on hold.” Darcy heard Tony in the distance. “How dare they? Do they know who I am?” Darcy listened again as Jane tried to wrestle the phone from Tony but to no avail.

“Oh wait, _they_ are the ones who are on hold. Hahaha. Oops.” Darcy rolled her eyes and stopped herself from groaning.

“Anyway, you’re coming home?” Tony asked.

“Yup.” She said the p with a pop.

“Good. Also, on the record, I am not tracking your phone and watching a red dot move around a holographic map of New York as we speak.” Darcy rolled her eyes and gave herself a mental high five when she remembered to turn her phone off before going to her father.

“Thanks Tony good to know you are not invading my personal space.” Darcy said dryly and hung up the phone. 

When she arrived at the tower, she went straight to the elevator. She put on her earphones and listed to the 40s music playlist she downloaded on her iPod.

Fred Astaire cooled her nerves as she felt the uneasy heaviness the folder seemed to weigh on her. Then she weighed the pros and cons. Pros: She gets to know her mother. She could probably find her if she was part of the same program she was. If she was part of the Red Room and _oh._ She braced her hand against the cool metal wall, when she felt that that her knees have given up on her.

She was a fool, a little naïve fool. She steeled herself when the elevators opened and her own mother was looking at her bemusedly.

Natasha looked at her oddly. “You’re home late. Heard you were gone the whole day.” She said. Darcy tried to act nonchalant but _holy shit_ that’s her mother standing in front of her. Darcy clenched her jaw as a flood of memories started to come at her.

“Are you gonna step off now?” she asked. Darcy stepped off, not taking her eyes off her.

_Mom. It’s me._ She wanted to say, but the elevator doors were already closing in and Natasha didn’t even give her a second glance.

Darcy wanted to sob. Her breath hitching. There she was, her mother, and she didn’t even notice Darcy. Her heart felt like it was about to explode with hurt and anger.

“How dare you?” she whispered through clenched teeth at the metal doors. Her fists were almost white and tears started falling down her eyes. She swiped at them roughly, her nails grazing her cheeks.

“I am done crying over you.” She said again to the elevator doors. She started hyperventilating and she started gripping on her hair.

“Not here. Not here.” She repeated to herself as she tried to make her way back to her apartment or somewhere soundproof. Darcy really wanted to scream right now.

She padded towards the hallways as stealthily as she can. She bit back a curse as Steve called out to her.

“Darcy!” he said. Darcy didn’t stop walking. “Darce, wait.” He called out.

“What?” Darcy said, her tone betraying her anger. She didn't turn around, afraid he'll see the tear tracks marring her face. Steve can’t see her like this.

“You were gone the whole day.” He said his voice shrinking.

“Yeah. It’s my day off. Also, thanks for making everyone worried about me, when I could clearly take care of myself. Remember, I tazed a god.” She said, her tone so sharp she thought it would cut. She stalked off angrily.  She wasn’t mad at Steve. She was mad at Natasha for not remembering her, for leaving her, and (honestly it’s a little petty but) for giving birth to her.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for the lullaby, I made it myself. I have been researching on some Russian lullabies but I figured Natasha would improvise something much more personal. Also, headcannon that Tili Tili Bom is the lullaby that the Red Room instructor sang to Darcy once upon a time and it made her more awake than actually sleepy. 
> 
> Comments are appreciated. :)


	4. Oh No He's Back (Back Again)

“Where were you the other day?” asked Jane. Her voice was nearly drowned out by the incessant beeping of her machine.

“I have a life outside the tower.” Darcy remarked. She scanned the notes on her computer but it did not completely register on her mind.

 She seemed to be all over the place. Her memories are coming back with a vengeance. Sleepless nights, erratic behavior, anxiety, violent reactions, and killer headaches seemed to plague her. It was worse for her than for Bucky. He didn’t have to pretend. He didn’t have to act as if he could tell what’s real or what’s not. He didn’t have to lie.

Darcy sighed as Tony opened his god damn mouth.

“Yeah right, Lewis. We’re your only friends.” He said nonchalantly. “Wow, it sounded less depressing in my head.” He continued.

She rolled her eyes. She wasn’t in the mood to argue. She wasn’t in the mood for anything. She just wanted this day to pass as boring as possible. For her, a boring day was a miracle. When you live a life full of excitement, a day without anything happening was pure bliss.

“You alright today Darce? You seem…lethargic.” Bruce commented. Darcy shrugged her shoulders.

“Didn’t sleep last night. Tolkien marathon.” She lied but when she looked at Bruce, he wasn’t really sold on the idea.

“We have a home theater, with surround sound, and yet you still insist on watching pirated movies on your 13 inch laptop.” Tony said acting offended.

Darcy didn’t reply and made an effort to make it obvious that she was listening to her iPod. Her eyelids were getting heavy but she didn’t want to sleep. She didn’t want to dream. She wanted to overwork herself until she passed out from exhaustion.

“Tony, what did you do?” Jane said accusatorily to Tony. She could see Tony raising his palms up in the corner of her eye. They never really bothered to check if she was actually listening to her music, or that her iPod was turned on.

_Scientists._ Darcy remarked. She listened to Jane talking worriedly about her.

“She’s not like herself today.” Jane commented but when she heard her machine ring, her line of thought took a different thought as the machine started spewing out results. Darcy heard Jane scratching ink on her notebook furiously as she wrote her analysis.

* * *

 

She was by herself. Her arms were lying languidly on the kitchen table. She was facing the opposite wall, her eyes not focusing anywhere, lost in thought. She cradled a cold cup of coffee in her hands.

_We used to dance._ Her father remembered, then he wrote it on a yellow post-it and stuck it on a picture of a Bolshoi ballerina. It wasn’t hard for her to remember. It was one of her happiest memories.

She watched as her father lifted her mother gracefully into the air as if she weighed nothing. Her mother’s body in pristine form but relaxed. Both of them were entirely losing themselves in the song, the dance, and with each other.

She gasped as her mother stood on the point of her toes and twirled.

/*Can you teach me how to dance like that mama?*/ she asked. Her mother stopped dancing and smiled at her.

/*Anything you want, my love.*/ she replied and Darcy giggled as her father suddenly lifted her up so high, she could touch the ceiling if she wanted to.

 

It was one of her memories that was never tainted. It was beautiful and happy, but people are not quick to associate those words to the Red Room. She was trained like the other girls. She was a special one, daughter of the two most successful assassins in all of Russia. It was expected that she was bullied the most and was under so much scrutiny.

It made her anxious somewhat. She would chew the inside of her lip whenever she does something wrong. _Look at you, the daughter of the Black Widow and The Winter Soldier. It’s a shame to all of Russia if you become a failure._ She heard her teacher say to her as she was the last one to disassemble a rifle in her class. _She already is._ The girl beside her snickered.

She never told her parents. _No one likes a snitch._ She heard her mother say to her one time. So she tried harder, became more aggressive, and manipulated herself to the top that she was allowed to go on missions with her parents.

* * *

 

“Darcy have you eaten?” she heard her mother say drolly. She walked in wearing a white tank top and pajama pants. Darcy glanced at her watch and saw that it was already eleven o’clock. She has been sitting there for more than an hour.

She stared blankly at her mother. What could she tell her? Will she tell her? Does she even deserve to know? Darcy wanted to laugh at herself. Is this her life now? Her whole being, woven with secrets and lies, shattered memories and blood on her hands.

She decided not to say anything. She went back to staring at the wall, trying to fight back the tears. Does her mother even remember her? Why did she leave? Why didn’t she look for her? If she was already as independent as she can be, why didn’t she look for her? 

Darcy knitted her brow and closed her eyes. _You can ask her. Ask her right now._ She kept thinking to herself. Then she heard Natasha slide a plate of left over spaghetti beside her. When Natasha placed her hand on her shoulder, Darcy stood and walked out, ignoring her little gift. She left Natasha in the kitchen, dumbfounded and a little hurt.

She could’ve asked her. She could’ve gotten all the answers, fill the gaps in her memories. But the question was, does she even want to know?

* * *

 

Darcy skimmed the computer monitor, making sure that there weren’t any errors she put in before making a backup copy. She jumped in her seat when the whole building was engulfed in a clap of thunder. When all was left were echoes, Darcy glanced at Jane and saw that she mirrored the same smile she had.

“What the fuck was that?” Tony cursed. Both girls didn’t reply as they dashed on the elevator. When the doors open they saw Steve.

“Hey. What’s going on?” he made to get out but Darcy pushed him back inside.

“No time to explain!” she shouted cheerfully. Her spirits lifting as they ascended. She could hear the rain falling heavily and that could only mean one thing.

“THOR!” Jane screamed as the metal doors opened to the roof. The blonde god, bright and beaming, as they ran towards each other like in a sappy romcom.

Darcy smiled as her boss was lifted into the air by her boyfriend. They kissed and a part of Darcy thought that she was better off staying inside because they started making out.

“Get a room!” Darcy shouted at them. They broke apart.

“Lady Darcy.” Thor called to her and he gave her a bear hug.

“Miss you brother bear.” Darcy patted his shoulder.

He put her back down on the ground. “Steven, it is great to see you again.”  He patted his shoulder and Steve lost balance a little bit, caught off guard by his strength.

“Thor, what brings you in this side of the universe?” he asked.

“It is a bit of funny story, which I shall regale to you during the proper time. If you’ll excuse me, I would like to be with Jane.” He said. He wrapped his arm around Jane’s shoulders and led her back to the elevator.

Darcy didn’t need to second guess what would happen next. Jane is not going to sleep tonight, and it’s not because of her experiments.

Darcy smiled fondly as she circled the runes imprinted on Stark’s roof that the rainbow bridge left behind. Her cloud of sadness slowly dissipating.

“Stark is gonna freak, when he sees this.” She said as she walked the scorched cement.

“Does it magically disappear?” he said.

“Yeah when Tony pays someone to fix it.” She deadpanned. Steve laughed. Darcy looked at him and she remembered how she treated him a few days ago. A lump formed in her throat as his laugh died down. He stared at her, his blue eyes piercing and _god_. She felt her stomach flutter as she formulated an apology.

“Steve about the other day.” She started.

“No, you don’t need to apologise. I made everyone worry, when they shouldn’t be. I’m the one who should say sorry.” He said. He looked down and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Still. I shouldn’t have snapped at ya.” She said as they made their way to the empty elevator.

“Let’s call it even then.” He said as they stepped on. She smiled at him.

“Why were you looking for me anyway?” she asked, her smile growing as she saw him blush.

“I..uh…Was gonna ask you out.” Darcy laughed. “Take me out to town?” she bumped his shoulders, giggling. “Show me off?”

“Well, I was thinking dinner and a movie.” He said. Darcy twirled her hair with her fingers.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Sure. Why not?” The smile Steve gave her made her heart stop. _Oh, he’s gonna be trouble._

“Good. I –uhm- Tomorrow night?” he asked. She nodded. The elevator stopped on her floor. She stepped out when the doors open.

“We’ll meet in the living room.” Darcy said. Steve nodded in acquiesce.

Then she went back to the lab with a little skip in her step.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few days and I'm sorry. Got some really bad writer's block. I'm working around it. Although, my laptop broke and I am forced to do this on my desktop which is baaaad (for me at least). The search for a beta is still open and you know if you wanna u can tell me. 
> 
> Comments are appreciated.


	5. Stars Out In The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just because I'm not an astrophysicist doesn't mean I don't like looking up at the night sky."

Darcy was raised with the stories of Steve Rogers. She was just remembering it now. A little benefit she never knew she'd get aside from the nightmares. 

She'd remember of the times were the crippling anxiety of getting caught was too much for her. She didn't have her mother to sing her lullabies anymore, so her father did the next best thing. A bedtime story, every night until she could trust herself to sleep. It's been more than a year since her father's mind was wiped, fragments of memories were coming back to him. Darcy practically begged for him to tell her a story. There was no good story that Bucky could tell, only things that even he can't sleep on. So all he did was heave a sigh and tucked Darcy in her make shift mattress and say. "There was a punk named Steve Grant Rogers...."

And now she's about to go on a date with him! She felt absolutely giddy. On good nights, she'll remember the stories. Her dad was inconsistent sometimes, mixing up names and places but he tried. He'd tell her about Lucy Harroway and how her sandwich was eaten by this schoolyard bully that was bigger than Steve but he fought him regardless. He was ten years old that time, skinny, frail, and had lungs worse than a smoker's. How he never gave up in enlisting in the army after being rejected so many times. Little Darcy took comfort of those stories, hope filling her as she imagined that there are maybe some people like the skinny boy Steve Rogers in a place called Brooklyn and maybe one day she'll find someone like him, or maybe grow up and be like him. 

She remembered those slightly askew bedtime stories a little before Thor arrived. She saw Steve and it felt like opening a dusty old children's story book you used to love. She felt like she knew him, not in a creepy stalker way, she just knew him. Of course his bestfriend is her father so...

 

"So what do you want to do?" asked Steve as he looped her arm around his and led her to the elevator. 

"How about we skip the dinner and the movie?" she said with a suggestive grin. Steve blushed. 

"What?" he said, all flustered and wide eyed. 

Darcy reviewed what she said and smacked her palm on her face. 

"That is  _not_ what I meant. I meant we could do something more fun." Steve's eyebrows went to his hairline. Even more so when the elevator opened on the floor where her apartment was. 

"Darce, you know I've lived too long to start picking up on the innuendos."

She stepped out of the elevator and waved for Steve to come with her.

"No I meant... Jane  said there would be a little meteor showers and it's a full moon... So I thought we could skip the movies and just lie down and watch the stars?" she asked meekly. She dug the key from her purse and opened to her apartment. 

"Watch the stars? In New York? With that much light pollution, I doubt we'll even see the moon." he shuffled awkwardly inside Darcy's apartment. She went in her room and hurriedly closed the doors, worried that Steve might see her little mind map of fragmented memories and past identities. She started getting a duffel bag and packed the Darcy Lewis Stargazing Starter Pack (patent pending). It's basically a couple of thick blankets, a lantern, some extra socks, etcetera etcetera. Every thing an intern needs when her boss was too busy to pack anything but a notebook, a pen, and a heavy telescope. 

"I know a place." She said after changing into one of her heavy duty sweaters and some sweatpants. She walked in on him holding her slightly worn Bucky bear. She walked towards him and plucked her stuffed bear and forced it in her already full duffel bag. 

"Never knew they still sold those." he said wistfully. 

"Nah. Got it when I was young. Coulson begged me for it. Rare and old antique and all." she shrugged. She remembered her mother giving it to her once, after a mission, which went horribly wrong. So her mother gave her the Buckybear.  _Seriously Natalia_ her father said but there was  smile on his face so everything was all right. It took her years to track it down. She finally found it on an abandoned storage unit filled with her memorabilia which was a delving very deep into creepy territory. Pictures of her, vials filled with her dried blood, outgrown clothes, even her own baby teeth was inside that little place of horrors. So she took the stuffed toy and burned the whole place to the ground. She never felt she showered enough to get the filthy feeling off of her. 

"It's pretty cute of you to sleep with a teddy bear." he commented.

Darcy playfully slapped his chest. "Hey, not all of us has someone to cuddle with at night." 

"And you think I have?" he asked.

"With an ass like that? Who doesn't?" she said. Steve chuckled. 

"So? You in or not?" she asked. 

"And where do you think we'll get to see the stars?" he asked. 

"Told ya. I know a place." he sucked in a breath. 

"That sounds ominous." he said, a mischievous smile on his lips. 

She stepped closer to him, there bodies just inches apart. She looks up at him and quirks a brow. "Do you trust me?" she asks.

Steve nodded. His eyes nearly closed as he looks down at her. Darcy bounced back like an exuberant child. 

"So let's go." she said excitedly, grabbing his hand and half dragged him to the elevator. 

When they got to the garage, Darcy gasped as she saw Steve's motorcycle. 

"Steve, I'm in love with your motorcycle." she murmured. 

"And to think I thought you liked me for my personality." he joked.

She hummed as he ran her hand across the leather. "I could ride you all day." she said out loud. She groaned when she heard Steve's laugh. 

"I should stop with the innuendos." to this Steve laughed harder. 

"Nah. Keep 'em coming." he walked towards the far wall, to open the gates. 

"Why am I the only one contributing to this relationship? I got the date, the romantic setting, the innuendos. What have you got to offer?" she asked him. 

"Well, we already established that I have a nice ass." he said as he made towards her,jingling the keys with every step.

"You do have a nice ass." she said in agreement. "Now c'mon. I'll drive."

Steve raised his palms. "Woah woah woah. Who said anything about you driving?"

"Well I know where we're supposed to go. Soooo" she opened up her palm, motioning him to give up the keys. 

"Why? Afraid I'm going to leave you for your bike?" she said. Steve looked at her pensively, which made her heart flutter.  _Be cool Darce. Be cool._

"Nah." he said as he tossed her the keys. "I'm fine with open relationships." he smirked. He took the duffel bag and watched as she position herself on his bike. He mounted behind her. 

"Can I? Uh.. May I?" he asked. Darcy liked the fact that Steve asked permission. "Of course." she replied. She started the engine and she hummed in delight. Having Steve so close did things to her. She could smell his scent which was just soap. She never knew someone could make generic soap smell so sexy. 

"Someone's got a kink." Steve whispered in her ear. She couldn't help but shudder. His strong arms wrapped around her middle. She chewed her lip.

"Yeah right. 90 year old virgin." she muttered. She started to head out on the open road, the crisp, cold air biting at her exposed skin. Steve bundled her loose hair with one hand to avoid some of them flying into his mouth. 

"I'm an artist remember? Don't say I don't have a very wild imagination." She sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. 

"You don't know what you do to me Steve." she said loud enough to heard over the wind. Steve fanned out his right hand over her stomach. 

"Can't wait to find out." he whispered into her neck. 

* * *

 

"Damn Darce. I think I can't feel my ass anymore." Steve muttered into her hair. She wondered what it would sound if he said her actual name. She shook her head and tossed that thought on the back of her mind. They switched to off road a few minutes ago and Steve found himself entering a forest. 

"That's a shame." she replied. She remembered this path, of course the trees were smaller and the path was clearer but if anything in her memory could be trusted, it's past hideouts. "Hang on Steve. We're almost there."

Steve held her tighter as the road became bumpier. She could almost see the little flat roofed shack. "Darcy, I think we're lost." Steve grumbled. 

"Do you trust me?" Darcy asked. Her eyes still facing forward but she could feel Steve's gaze at the back of her head. When they've reached the edge of a clearing, she slowed down. Steve didn't answer, but Darcy didn't ask again. 

She slowed to a stop and looked at the abandoned little warehouse she used to hide out, whenever she had missions in New York, you know, if she had the right to choose where to hide. It's been years since she was here. It used to be a warehouse that stores neatly cut logs of wood waiting distribution. It had a flat cement roof, which was still accessible. The structure was sound years ago, but Darcy was super sure that it could still hold. 

"I don't think it's safe Darce." Steve said to her. His feet taking long strides as he caught up to her. Once Darcy hopped off the bike she fetched the flashlight and made towards the warehouse. 

"C'mon Steve. Where's your sense of adventure?" she looked back at him. Her soft expression encouraging him to come closer. She walked up to the once metal gate and wondered if it was safe. She pushed on the door and it gave way. Darcy waited a few seconds and the ceiling didn't cave so she took it as a good sign. The warehouse was old and empty. She guess HYDRA cleaned it out, well not actually  _cleaned,_ the walls were almost lined with moss and there was this smell, like something that she should not inhale for long periods. She came for the roof so that won't be a problem. A part of her worried that it would trigger Steve's allergies but one look at him, with his square shoulders and muscular build, reminded her that he isn't fragile anymore. 

She found the stairs and tried to test if it would support her weight. It was creaking with every step but it was still strong. She looked back at him and smiled. She reached out his hand to him and he took it gladly. They reached to the top and Darcy tried to force the door open. When it didn't budge, she stepped back to force it open with her brute force, like she always does. Before she could, Steve reached out his hand to stop her and offered to open the door. In that moment she forgot that Darcy Lewis doesn't have super strength. She grit her teeth. Steve managed to pry open the door. 

"And they say chivalry is dead." she went outside and stretched her arms, breathing into the pine scent of the forest. She looked up at the sky and she could see the stars sparkle like jewels. She twirled around in the open space. "This is the place." 

Steve walked out and Darcy felt warmth flow in her being as she watched Steve look up in wonder. He let the duffel bag slack on his shoulders and it toppled on the ground. She picked up the bag and let Steve lose himself in wonder. She took the blankets and laid them on the floor. It took almost two thick blankets as their mattress and one for them to cover. She didn't bother with the cold. Ironically she was used to it. Although, if she needs to warm up, there's Steve. 

She turned on her electric lamp and when she was done setting up she lied down on the blankets. She shuffled to the side and raised the covers as invitation. She has never seen Steve smile that much in a long time and it made it even special since she was the one who made it happen. He walked up to her with this goofy smile and offered her his hand. 

"Get up." he said. Automatically, Darcy burrowed in her blanket and let out a childish "No."

"Dance with me." he said. She raised the blanket out of her face and scrunched up her face. "I thought you don't know how to dance." 

"I think its best to learn, yeah?" Darcy sat up and took his hand in his. "I didn't bring my iPod." 

"And it's a problem because?" Darcy hauled herself up. 

"Okay then. You're lucky I know a thing or two." she said. She took both of Steve's hands and placed one on her hip. She raised their connected hands right above her shoulders. She pressed herself against him until her forehead was resting on his shoulder.

"Follow my lead." She whispered in his ear, standing on he tiptoes. She started with a simple waltz square. She pulled away from him and showed him how to do a waltz step. She took one step forward and raised herself to her tiptoes. She sidestepped and did the same, until she could do it four times, forming a square. 

She looked at Steve over her shoulder. "You got it?" She laughed when Steve hardened his face with confusion, like memorizing battle plans. "It's easy."  She took his hand and stood beside him.

"1-2-3-4. 1-2-3-4." Darcy muttered. "You know as agile as you are, you have two left feet."

"Bite me." Darcy snickered. She twirled and faced him, taking his hands and positioned them like before. 

"Close your eyes." Darcy ordered. 

"Why?" he asked, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight. Darcy sighed. "Do you trust me?" she asked, like she was asking about the weather. 

Steve didn't answer but he closed his eyes. "I want you to follow the beat. Move in a square, doesn't matter the steps, or that you'll step on my feet. Focus on the beat, the music, and the rhythm." Darcy murmured the beat. 1-2-3-4. 1-2-3-4. When Steve step on her toes or often trip, he'd curse under his breath and knit his brows together. 

She cupped his face. "Move with me. Don't think." She stepped back, to the left, forward, and to the right, with Steve in tow. "Breath, Steve." she giggled.

1-2-3-4.

Steve let out a breath.

1-2-3-4.

Steve relaxed.

1-2-3-4.

He pulled Darcy closer to him.

1-2-3-4. 

He nestled his head on her shoulder. 

1-2-3-4.

His feet were in sync with hers.

1-2-3-4.

He tried doing the waltz step and did it right.

1-2-3-4. 

Darcy danced as if she were water, fluid and flexible. She softened as Steve took the lead.

1-2-3-4.

He broke the square and lead her around the roof. They twirled and spun and Darcy swore she felt like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, in the grand ballroom. Yeah, that scene.

1-2-3-4.

"Steve, open your eyes. You're dancing." 

1-2-3-4. 

When Steve's eyes opened, he was amazed to see Darcy looking up at him, the moonlight reflecting off her ivory face. 

1-2-3-4.

They slowed until they were just swaying in place. The wind rustling the leaves, the sounds of crickets and frogs, and the sounds of owls hooting were their music. Steve never heard a better tune. 

* * *

 

Both of them were deep under the covers, their feet sore from dancing. Darcy's gaze was glued on the sky watching the three or four comets soar in the sky. Steve held Darcy in his embrace. His face lying on her shoulder and their legs intertwined. His thumbs were tracing patterns on her arms. 

"Just because I'm not an astrophysicist doesn't mean I don't like looking up in the night sky." she said to no one in particular. She pointed her fingers upward and traced the outline of Orion's belt. Steve cuddled closer and Darcy never felt warmer in her life. She tore her eyes away from the stars and looked at her own supernova looking back at her. She traced her fingers along Steve's face. She ran her fingers against his stubble, his nose, his eyes, every dip, every curve.

"You're right. This as more fun than a dinner and a movie." he said. Darcy smiled.

"A night under the stars. Sounds like a prom motif." she joked. 

"Where'd you learn how to dance like that?" he asked. Darcy had to look away. Will she tell him? Can she tell him? Then the question she kept asking felt empty.  _Do you trust me?_

As far as the world knew Darcy Lewis was born an orphan. Shuffling from foster home to foster home. Her education funded by a private organization that couldn't be traced to HYDRA. When she was a sophomore in college she cut her ties from HYDRA and moved from UCLA to Culver where she decided to finish her Political Science degree. Darcy wanted to tell Steve the truth. He deserved it. After being lied to so many times.

"There was..." Darcy raked her fingers in his hair. "...a foster family that had a dance studio." she lied but she laced it with as much as the truth she could give.  "They were newlyweds. They tried having a baby but they would always fail. I was lucky that they chose me. There were the best foster parents I had, but they were shortlived. Bittersweet, I know." Steve leaned in to kiss her nose. 

"The first few weeks, I saw them dance and Steve, I have never seen two people move like that." She recalled her parents dancing, smiles in their faces that Darcy knew was 100 percent genuine. "You could see the love connecting them. It was funny. Their personalities would always collide but when the music starts playing it was like... I don't know. It was beautiful." Darcy didn't know that there were tears in her eyes. She looked away before gravity could pull it down. "They wanted to adopt me you know? Make it official." she said with a sad smile.

"I miss them." She whispered. "I miss them so much. After everything, they were the only thing that felt like family. They were family." She said to the stars, hoping they could carry her message back to her parents. Hoping both of them are looking at the same sky as she is. That's the only way they could ever feel close to each other. 

"And I-" Her voice broke. "I lost them." Steve pulled her in closer. She could feel his breath on her neck. She breathed in deeply. "Something happened." Steve rose and leaned on his forearms. His face hovering over hers, listening intently.  "There was so much pain. All I could hear were screams and I didn't take too long to discover it was mine." Darcy started to stiffen, her mind no longer on that rooftop. 

_She was strapped on a metal gurney and it felt like her blood was on fire. She was conscious and she just wanted to pass out. She kept screaming, begging for them to stop. She kept bargaining. I'll obey, she said. Please stop and I'll obey, she said. No one listened._

"Darce, come back to me." She heard Steve coax her back from her flashback. 

"I thought I was gonna die. Then, when I heard the news, I wished I was."  she admitted and it felt like a boulder was lifted off her shoulders. 

"Oh, Darcy." he whispered as he leaned his forehead against hers. "You're okay Darcy."

"When I woke up, they told me they were dead. I just lost everything." she whispered into his lips. Steve felt her tears dripping into his hands as he cupped her face. 

_She didn't just lose her parents. She lost her will, her autonomy. She was their slave and she knew there was no escape. Everything they needed her to do, she had to do it right and clean. It was horrible. It was like watching your own movie as you did horrible things and all you could do was just watch the horror unfold. After, you wipe your hands clean and hear the praises of people who are afraid of you but are powerful enough to wipe you out. She was in a cage and it doesn't matter if she chewed all her limbs off. If she is no longer of use, she'll be terminated._

"Darcy? Where are you? Come back to me." he coaxed. Darcy stared into his eyes.  _Come back to me._ She used to say to her father. Now she hears it said to her. "I'm here." She squeaked. 

"Me too." She smiled and kissed him. He pulled away and kissed the top of her nose, her cheeks, her tear tracks, her chin, her closed eyes, her forehead. He gave her butterfly kisses on her face that tickled a little bit. She sighed and wrapped herself in his arms. She raised the blankets over their head and it felt like a cocoon of warmth and love. 

"You think this is a lot for a first date?" she asked. She felt his chest rise and fall as he laughed. "I guessed we surpassed the boundaries of first date when you practically had sex with my bike." She slapped his chest playfully and gave him a scandalous look. 

"What time is it?" she asked. 

"A little after two. Why?" 

"You think we should be heading back?" she asked, she searched his eyes and hoped he would say no. 

"Nah." he buried his head on the crook of her neck and she giggled.

"Where d'ya find this anyway?" he mumbled against her skin. She hummed and twirled locks of his hair between her fingers. 

"After the second semester of my first year in college, I went on a roadtrip with my very hot ex boyfriend in his van." she lied. 

"Your very hot ex boyfriend?" he pulled back and smirked at her.

"He was a drummer in his band." she said.

"Ooh. A drummer."

"You jealous yet?" Darcy asked.

"A little."

"Oh? I think you could beat his ass no problem." 

"Yeah but the idea of you, me, and the open road. Sounds nice." Darcy gave him a peck on his nose.

"You planning our second date?" nestled her head on his shoulder. Steve chuckled.

"So what happened to your hot drummer boyfriend who had this  _awesome_ van?"

"Hey, I never said about the van being awesome. Anyway, we were in New York and he found and even sexier bimbo so he ditched me." Steve clicked his tongue. 

"You know what, I should've kicked his ass." 

"You were frozen at that time." Darcy said sleepily, his warmth, drawing her to sleep. Steve shrugged.

"Yeah well, did you kick his ass?" Steve asked.

"Even better, I stole the van." Steve let out a loud laugh. 

"Of course." 

"It broke down at the edge of the road and it was two in the afternoon so I just went in the forest and found this place. When I got back I took all the blankets and camped out here." 

"You didn't get lost?"

"Nah, his clothes were my breadcrumbs."she mumbled.

"Must've been lonely." he breathed in the scent of her hair. 

"Yeah it was." she said drolly. "Got a tattoo once. Missed my parents a lot and thought why not?" she admitted. Steve raised his brow. 

"Oh? Where?" 

"Nuh uh." Darcy turned, her back facing him. "A girl's gotta keep her secrets." 

Steve felt Darcy intertwine his hands with hers. It was Steve turn to ask her.

"Do you trust me?" Darcy's answer was her light snoring. 

Steve smiled and kissed the top of her head. 

* * *

 

Darcy woke up with the image of her own father's cold metal arm, choking her. She woke up frozen in place. She wiggled her fingers and toes. When the feeling went back up in her body, she sat up. She found Steve on the other side of their cot hogging all the covers. She smiled at him fondly. She loved this very spontaneous, very romantic first date. She feels like in a an 90s Indie movie. Coupl'a teenagers with stupid ass parents, sneaking out at night and just take life to the fullest and stick it to the man! Darcy wanted to laugh. She really wanted this, wanted Steve, wanted to be with Steve. The skinny boy from Brooklyn that she always heard about, thought about, was here, right now, with her. 

 _You're going to hurt him, you know._ She heard her voice in the back of her head. _He's going to hate you when he finds out. They all will. All you do is hurt people._

"Stop." Darcy whispered. She laid back down and curled into a ball.  _Look at him. Do you think he deserves you?  You're nothing but a monster. Soon, everyone will know they're friends with a monster. You'll be alone, just as you deserve to be._

She heard Steve roll over towards her and wrapped the blanket around her. She turned around and faced him. His face was on the borderline of sleep and waking. So she kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around him. 

"Mmm. Darce, you're cold and .... shaking." he murmured, half awake. He started rubbing his hands on her back and pulled more of the blanket over her. He kissed the top of her head and she sighed. Maybe just one night, this night, she could trust herself to let him love her.  Just for a little while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo.... Still looking for that beta. Anyway, hoped you enjoyed this chapter, it was really fun to write. It's longer than the others but that makes it even better. Comments are appreciated. :)


	6. The Ides of March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's Darcy's birthday, but no one knew that.

Darcy felt grouchy today, like there was a grey storm cloud looming above her head this very second. She talked to no one today, not really up for conversation. She wanted to sulk and brood but noooo. Darcy Lewis doesn't brood and sulk. Darcy Lewis cries over fictional characters and celebrity relationships, not because it was her actual birthday today and that her father was back in Washington and her mother was in God knows where doing who knows what. Darcy reckoned she doesn't even know it's her daughter's birthday. 

"Hey Darcy warcy." Jane cooed as she entered the lab. Jane has been happier now that Thor announced his semi-permanent stay in Midgard.

"Heyo." Darcy wheeled her chair around to face her friend. 

"What day is it?" Jane asked as she positioned herself on her desk booting up her computer.

"March 15" Darcy said, trying to hide the bitter inflection. She saw Jane tense.

"What?" she asked, the paranoid side of her taking over.

"Nothing. It's just-" Jane tried to brush it off. 

"What?" Darcy deadpanned.

"You're always so gloomy and sad whenever March 15 rolls around. I always thought. 'Hey, maybe Darcy has a thing for Julius Caesar but.." Jane let the sentence hang. She looked at Darcy's wide eyes. Did it really show? Was she really that obvious?

"Anyway." Jane tried to stay off the subject. "How was your date with Steve?" she said with a little sing songy tone in her voice. Darcy groaned and shuffled away to grab a sheaf of paperwork. 

"What? Did Cap'n America live up to your expectations?" she asked.

"It's complicated." 

"Damn Darce. It's the first date." Jane remarked.

"It's not like that. It was amazing. We went upstate and stargazed and danced and "

"Woah. You went stargazing last night?"

"Yeah you told me about the meteor shower the other night."

"Damn. I should've thought of that. So? did it end with a bang?" Jane wiggled her brows. Darcy sighed. If only she just went with the movie and awkward dinner then maybe, she would just blow this whole relationship of and Steve will find someone less- daughter of his two bestfriends-y. But no, she had to have some in depth form of intimacy. 

"Nah, we just cuddled  _under the stars_." She said dramatically.

Then she spent the next week avoiding him. Not really avoiding him, their schedules just didn't mix well. Plus, whenever Steve arrives in the same room as her, she always has a good enough reason to leave hurriedly no questions asked. Totally not avoiding him. 

"And you boss lady? How are you with your god?" she asked. Jane lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Thor has been amazing. I've been touring him around New York. We sit down at lunch and talk. He also told me how the bifrost works." she said.

"I know. I've been organizing your ideas all week. Since your machine gave off readings into Thor's arrival a few days ago." Darcy reported. 

"I know right. Sooner or later we can recreate our own bifrost without cutting off the whole city's powergrid." Jane said. 

"I thought Stark Tower was a self-sustaining building?" Darcy asked. Jane shook her head. 

"We need a lot more power if we plan to actually transport living organisms through." Jane started gesturing for emphasis. 

"Do you think the bifrost would hold some side effects to non asgardians?" Darcy asked. 

"I have been through it and I'm normal." Jane commented. Darcy picked up a yellow post-it and a pen. 

"Normal being the relative term." She murmured. Jane gave her a light shove on her shoulder. Darcy laughed. "Well yeah, the magic bifrost, but what about a man made one? Our Einstein Rosen bridge couldn't possibly live up to the perfect standard of magic." She noted the question down on the post it and placed it on the folder's cover. 

"Hmm... I suppose. I think we should ask Bruce, he's an expert with Human Biology." Darcy wrote on the post-it.  _Ask Bruce._  

When 11:30 rolled around Darcy stood up and stretched. "So, the usual club sandwich and a cup of coffee?" She asked to her boss. When she didn't hear her response, she saw Jane huddled over a hard bound textbook. Darcy looked at the spine and saw that it was a published study of one of Jane's rivals, Bob McArthur. Darcy laughed. She walked up to Jane's side and started poking at her shoulder. She decided that annoying twit tactic would be effective. 

"Jane." she said as she poked her best friend's shoulder. "Jane." she said again with another poke. "Jane." Jane mumbled something. "Janejanejanejanejanejanejane." The tactic backfired and Darcy was glad to have a good reaction time because Jane nearly ripped her finger off. 

"Fine." she pouted like a child. She marched off the lab and went to the gym. "It's time for the big guns." she said in determination. 

 

* * *

 

Darcy followed the sound of masculine grunting and she was wondering if she could record it and sell it on ebay. Create a scandal. "Rumoured Avengers Sex Tape" coming to a newspaper near you. She took a sharp turn and she swears, if Jane were with her she wouldn't be even thinking about Bob Whatshisface. All this muscly, sweaty, and shirtless men just tackling each other on the training mat is enough to make a nun question her vows. Darcy bit her lip and turned away. She took a deep breath because seeing Steve all riled up and trying to tackle Thor to the ground was enough for her knees to wobble. She imagined herself hot and sticky sparring with Steve, displaying her full strength and flexibility.  _Be cool, Darce. Be. Cool._

She turned around and leaned on the door frame. She gave a low whistle and said in the sultriest voice she could muster. "Hello boys." All activity stopped and Sam was almost hit by a punching bag as he turned to look at her. 

"Darcy!" Steve called out like an excited puppy. The distraction gave Thor an opening to pin him on the ground with his knee. "Lady Darcy, what brings you here?" Thor asked her as he stood up and offered his arm to Steve. 

"Oh nothing. Just admiring the view.” She said coolly. "Also." she made long strides to approach Thor. "I need you to put on a shirt and drag Jane out of the lab for lunch." She pointed at the blond god. 

"Why? Is there something preoccupying her?" Thor joked. 

"You know the drill." Darcy said, her neck aching from having to look up at him.  _God. Am I the shortest person in the room?_   

When Thor put on a white shirt and made towards the exit Darcy grabbed him. 

"Nevermind. Lose the shirt. I want the afternoon off." Darcy ordered. Thor complied with a knowing grin. "Go get her." 

Darcy watched Thor walk out and rubbed her hands like a cartoon villain. "If anyone needs me I am in my room, marathoning Bob's Burgers." she announced. It was a lie. She planned on repairing the bits and pieces of her memories and then later actually watch Bob's Burgers. What? It's a good show. 

She made towards the exit before anyone -especially Steve- could say anything about it. When she was close to the threshold Clint dropped down from the vents. Darcy jumped back a  few paces. 

"Spar with me Darce." he said like a child asking her to hang on the seesaw with him. Darcy snorted. 

"Uh nope." Clinton fucking Barton renowned marksman and SHIELD agent actually pouted at her. 

"C'mon Darce. It'll be fun. I'll take it easy on you. Plus, you'll learn a thing or two." Darcy raised her brow. Him go easy on  _her_?  _Oh, honey I'm not worried about me._  Darcy thought. She glared at Clint dead in the eye and she wanted to punch the cocky grin of his face.  _Her, the daughter of the Soldier and the Widow afraid  of a man who is too overly attached with sharp sticks?_  

She squared herself up to him, her hands resting on her sides. "Fine." she said coldly. "Let me change first." Clint finally sidestepped and Darcy stomped all the way to her room to change. 

She arrived back wearing sweatpants, a jersey, and two sports bras. She stretched in front of the mirror and her eyes met Steve. She looked away quickly.  _This is stupid._  She thought. Clint bruised her ego and now she's going to fight him. What happens if she actually showed some actual skill on the mat? Could she easily lie and say that she was trained in self-defence? What if, with all that muscle memory, she might actually kill him? 

She took a deep breath.  _Suck it up._  She heard her father's voice say. She looked at Clint and raised a brow. She cocked her head to the mat and he followed. 

"Are you really sure about this?" Darcy asked, her body already moving before she could think. Her body bouncing on the balls of her toes picking up the familiar rhythm she set. 

"C'mon Darce. I'll give you the first hit." he said with an amused lilt. Darcy narrowed her eyes. She can't actually hit Barton, that's not sparring. One glance at his feet was enough.  Darcy flung her fist weakly at Clint who caught it easily with his hand. She thrust her arm back with enough force that made Clint lean forward and lose balance. His eyebrows went to his hairline as Darcy kicked his shin and he let go of her hand. Darcy heard Sam cheer as Clint landed on the floor.

"Beginner's luck." Clint commented. Darcy looked over her shoulder and saw Steve with  proud smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile back. She turned back around. Clint aimed a punch to her shoulder and Darcy spun away, still bouncing on her toes. After dodging two or three of his blows Darcy saw her mother walk in and watched her. Darcy felt sick to her stomach. The scene was all too familiar for her. 

_There were 28 of them, just like in her mother's time. Every other week someone mysteriously disappears. She doesn't let it get to her. The weak do not belong here, she often reminded herself. She was a good student but before her parents trained her, she wasn't the best. Senators and officials sitting on the sidelines, watching her fight the other girls. She grimaced when she felt the pain of her jaw hitting the cold floor. Her blood running cold when a man beyond his sixties, his many medals adorning his uniform, ask if which one was the Asset's daughter. The instructor pointed to her and the look of utter disappointment was engraved in her mind and seared into her worst childhood nightmares._

_"You see that?" the blonde girl she fought earlier said aloud in their rooms. "He actually thought I was the Widow's daughter." she said with pride and scathing hate. The words never left her head. She has never seen her parents before, they were whisked away, the moment she was born. Would they actually recognize her? Or will they be disappointed? Then in that moment the seven year old, blue eyed, brunette vowed to herself._ I'll make them recognize me.  

_They were in the sparring room again. The two walls lined with mirrors, to help them examine their form. The room fell into a hush when a beautiful red headed woman walk in with a man with an arm of metal. Her eyes never left her instructors prone form, her shrill voice called out to her and the blonde she fought before. She moved forward and her eyes caught with her mother's reflection staring back at her, a small imperceptible smile of encouragement on her face. She never knew if she was imagining it or not._

Well she's sure her mother was smiling at her right now. "Kick his ass Darcy!" she cheered. Clint made a face that made him look like a kicked puppy. 

"So much for the loving support." Clint remarked as he threw a kick at Darcy, which she dodged. 

"C'mon Darce. Actually try to hit me." he told her. 

"A great defense is a good offense right?" she said breathy, faking exhaustion. 

"Aw, where's the fun in that?" Clint mused. Darcy rolled her eyes and swung a weak kick. Clint caught it easily in his hand. "C'mon Darce. Stop being weak."

_"You are weak." the girl whispered on her ear. She was pinned on the ground. She looked up and saw her father frown. Then something inside of her snapped. She found a weak spot on her opponents grip and managed flip them. She sat atop her. She punched her face over and over. She was pushed back but she didn't stop throwing her blow after blow. She aimed a kick on her jaw and the girl caught it with both her hands, her form weak and tired. She lifted herself and twisted, using the momentum to bring her other foot around and land on the girl's jaw. Her opponent landed like a sack of bricks. She regained her footing and watched the blond writhe and struggle, cupping her jaw in pain._

"Who's weak now?" Darcy muttered in Russian. Darcy expected to hear the girl's scream of anguish but it was Clint's guttural scream of pain that jolted her back to reality. She gasped as Clint writhed on the floor cupping his jaw and screaming. 

Darcy felt like a fish out of water, gasping for breath as tears formed in her eyes. "Oh God! Clint are you okay?!" She could hear the blood rush into her ears.  _This is it. You hurt him. You always hurt people._

Darcy couldn't breathe as Natasha propped Clint up to a sitting position. She clutched her chest. Uncurling and curling her fingers, scratching her skin. She watched as Natasha signed to him. 

"Get him to medical." she said briskly. Darcy's panic went overdrive.  _What did I DO?!_ Darcy started to hyperventilate a she watched Clint be propped off the floor with Steve and Sam. She couldn't feel her knees. She never saw that blonde girl again, that bloodied, bruised, and wounded girl. She started gripping her hair fiercely. Her eyes going around the room wildly as she ran out of air. 

"Darcy. Darcy" Her mother soothed. Her hands cupping her face. "Darcy look at me." Darcy looked at her mother's blue eyes and she felt like she was home again. "Take a deep breath." Darcy obeyed. "You're fine. Darcy. You did good." 

"Good?! I almost broke his jaw! I-" She started to panic until she felt Natasha pull her into her arms. She hushed her. They sat on the training mat alone and Natasha held a crying Darcy in her arms.  "Shh. It's alright. Clint's had worse." she comforted her. Darcy melted under her mother's touch. She was finally in her arms, not really the way she wanted but she took what she could get. She closed her eyes and thought of a happy place, nights spent with Jane, Erik, and two packets of microwaved pop tarts in the cool air, the classical music filling the room as she danced, her father and mother dancing in front of her, and her and Steve up on that rooftop bundled together under the starry sky. 

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy held a brown package in her hands.

"Who's it from?" she asked Sam. Sam wore a grey shirt over his blue sweatpants and was lounging on the living room couch, sipping on a tumbler.

"I don't know. Someone sent it up." he said. Darcy stood and made towards the kitchen. She grabbed a small paring knife and opened the package carefully.  Before she could tear it open, she paused.  _What if it's a bomb?_  she asked herself. Then she remembered that this was Stark Industries and even pizza deliveries were scanned a dozen times before it’s sent up. 

She tore up the packaging and she laughed out loud. It was a Barbie's birthday card that read "Happy Birthday! You're turning 5!" with a zero written in sharpie next to the 5. She opened it and read "Happy Birthday Iapochka! :) :)" in neat handwriting. 

She doubled over, giggled, and clutching the card on her chest. 

"God." she laughed. She grabbed the gift from the counter and placed it on the table. She took a seat and opened the black box. 

"I hope this makes up for the 32 other birthdays, you missed." she murmured. She gasped as she looked at its contents. It was a pair of ivory white ballet shoes. She picked it up and held it against the light. It was brand new and Darcy thought of where her father could get the money for it. She took off her slippers and she tried it on. It was a perfect fit. She smiled and a rush of warmth flowed in her. She stood and went to her room to change. 

She went inside the gym and stood in front of the mirrors and stretched. After, she propped herself near the mirror and did the some drills her instructor used to make her do. Once she was satisfied she put on her earphones and pressed play. Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker begins spilling into her ears and her body moved to the rhythm and melody, almost automatically. 

She loved dancing. It was a part of her that can never truly be erased. When she was in her twenties she delved into hip hop, she loved it. After a few weeks she realized that it wasn't really fun if you're alone. Hip hop was best with a group or a partner, especially the time when Darcy and Jane taught Thor how to dance to Single Ladies. In Darcy's life, friends are a rare privilege she never indulged herself in, until now. She kept dancing, still. She lost herself in the movement, the form. She incorporated it into her fighting style. They always said that it was beautiful to see her fight. It was as if she was dancing and the shouts of pain and sounds of crushed bones were her music. 

As the song ended and Darcy viewed her reflection on the mirror, her feet poised and beautiful in her new ballet shoes. She saw a flash of red on the doorway and she turned. 

"Nat." she called. The red head looked surprised. 

"You didn't tell me you could dance ballet." she said, but there was something in her tone that Darcy can't figure out what. 

Darcy looked down and blushed. "Oh. I- uhm- yeah.” What was she supposed to say? _Mom we used to dance together until you decided to pack your bags and leave?_ That’s not a good conversation starter.

“How’s Clint?” she asked, a little panic in her voice. Natasha rubbed Darcy’s arms in reassurance.

“Well, he’s going to stick with soft food for a while but he’s fine. He’s actually pretty impressed with you.” she reported. Darcy turned away.

“Yeah, it was a lucky hit.” she said. Darcy watch Natasha knitted her brows.

“Do you speak Russian?” she asked, out of the blue. Darcy’s eyes widened.

“Yes.” she clipped. “It was part of my curriculum.” she lied but she did take up some Russian related subjects to update her of some events.

“It’s been a long time since I spoke in my mother tongue.” Natasha mused. “Do you mind?” she asked.

/*Not at all.*/ Darcy replied. She sat down on the ground and massaged her feet. Natasha smiled and sat down with her.

/*Are these new?*/ she asked, pointing at her feet. Darcy nodded.

/*Just wanted to treat myself.*/ she lied. Natasha nodded.

/*Did you ever want to go professional? If we tell Pepper she could probably hook you up with her contacts.*/ Natasha offered.

Darcy laughed and shook her head.

/*In another life, maybe.*/ Darcy joked. /*I always dreamed of being a Bolshoi.*/ she looked at her mother’s face but there was no sign of recognition. Darcy tried not to frown. /*But I guess the dream is dead.*/

/*You dance ballet?*/ Darcy forced a smile.

/*Yes.*/ she looked down. /*It was part of a mission but I never truly forgot.*/

/*Did you ever wanted to quit and be professional?*/ Natasha laughed.

/*So many times.*/ Her face grew serious. /*But it’s hard to quit my kind of job.*/

 _I know._ Darcy agreed.

/*You want to dance with me?*/ Darcy asked. She prayed that her mother would say yes. Natasha chuckled.

/*Some other time. I don’t have beautiful shoes like yours.*/ she said. Darcy tried not to look disappointed.

/*How about we go out to town and buy you some?*/ Darcy offered.

/*I would love that Darya.*/ The two women froze. Darcy’s heart began to beat rapidly. She opened her mouth to say that it’s her, your Darya, but Natasha beat her.

“I’m sorry. I” She stood and rubbed her temples. “It’s just-“

“It’s okay.” Darcy reached for her but Natasha pulled away.

“No it’s not!” Natasha snapped. “She’s nothing. I…” Darcy felt like her heart was stabbed over and over again. Darcy wanted to say something, to tell her that she was her Darya, she’s her baby.

“I just remembered something I really wanted to forget. I’m sorry.” Natasha apologised briskly. She then ran out of the room like a dog with its tail between its legs.

When Darcy was sure Natasha couldn’t hear her, she sobbed. She was so close, so close. Natasha never remembered Darcy because she didn’t want to. Darcy curled into a ball and sobbed for the second time today. How could she? After all this time, she meant nothing to her? Why? What’s wrong with her? Wasn’t she good enough? Did she even try to remember or did she just assume she was dead? Darcy kept asking herself this questions, over and over again.

She started rocking and tried to calm herself but then she wouldn’t stop shaking. She wished her father was here to embrace her like he did before but he wasn’t. So she took the ballet shoes and clutched it hard, reminding her that there is still one person who loves her.

 

* * *

 

Darcy hugged her knees to her chest. She gave up on sleeping hours ago. So she dragged herself to the living room. Her room was too stifling. She was afraid that the walls were closing in on her. Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of fragments of memories she’s too heartbroken to remember.

She bowed her head and willed her eyes shut. Her mind replaying the conversation she had with her mother.

 _What did I do wrong?_ She kept asking herself. She was so close. She was so close to having her mother back. She felt like Caesar as his allies repeatedly stabbed him in the back. The hurt was too deep. What was the point of suffering this long when even her own mother didn’t want her? She didn’t want her then, she didn’t want her now. And her father was so preoccupied of avenging his past that he doesn’t even consider that he could catch up with her. He has the time to be the father Darcy wanted, Darcy _needed_. Still, he chose revenge; he chose to let out his rage than to be her father. Before HYDRA fell, she kept dreaming, hoping that after everything, they will be a family again. Then the most miraculous thing happened. Steve took down HYDRA and Bucky was free. But was it enough? Her dream didn’t come true. Darcy found her father, but he didn’t want to come home. Will he hide forever? Will she hide forever?

“Darcy?” she heard a muffled voice call. “Darce. Hey.” She raised her head and it was Steve calling out to her softly.

“Hey are you okay? Why are you crying?” Darcy looked away and rubbed at her eyes.

“I thought all of you were sleeping.” she said, not able to look him in the eye.

Steve sighed and sat beside her.

“Well not all of us have someone to cuddle with at night.” he said. Darcy smiled.

A thick silence hung in the air. Darcy wanted to say something but she was afraid to. She wanted to leave but she didn’t want to hurt Steve.

“What did I do wrong?” he whispered. Darcy whipped her head to look at him. It broke her heart to see him hurt like this, because of her.

“Nothing.” she admitted. “You were perfect.”

“Then why are you avoiding me? I keep replaying that night over and over, thinking I did something wrong.” he said, his voice almost breaking.

“It’s just…” Darcy trailed off.

“Darce, what’s wrong?” he asked. His blue eyes filled with earnest. Darcy looked at him. She wanted to tell him everything, to come clean. She can’t. She’s too afraid. Her parents didn’t want her, how could Steve? Steve, the sweet boy from Brooklyn deserved so much better. Steve deserved more than her.

Darcy’s breath hitched and tears threatened to fall down her face.

“C’mere.” Steve opened up his arms. Darcy stood and sat on his lap. She held him close and she felt him stand up and carry her to his room. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the smell of his aftershave.

He sat back down and when Darcy lifter her head, she was in his bedroom. It was coloured in earthly tones and he was resting on the mahogany headboard.

She looked into his eyes and gathered all of her remaining strength.

“Steve. I am so sorry for avoiding you. I’m sorry for hurting you and making you doubt yourself. I didn’t mean to but, you were hurt anyway.” She paused. She clutched her arms and she felt her nails digging into her skin. Steve’s hands grabbed hers and tried to pry it of her person. 

“I am in _so_ much trouble. I’m afraid that if we had this.” Darcy gestured to both of them. “You’ll get hurt.” Darcy watched Steve’s growing concern.

“What do you mean you’re in trouble? Darce…” Steve frowned. Darcy closed her eyes and sighed.

“I can’t tell you. Not now. Not yet.” she whispered. “I know you don’t like lies and secrets.” _Which is who I am._ Darcy continued in her head.

“Well at least you’re upfront about it.” Steve said. Darcy bowed her head and giggled.

“There’s that smile.” he tucked back a loose strand of her hair.

“I won’t promise you that when the truth blows up in my face, you won’t be hurt or mad. I won’t promise you that everyone is going to come out of this unscathed.” she warned.

“And you think that if we’re going to continue this.” he gestured to the both of them. “I’m going to end up hurt?” he asked. Darcy nodded, trying not to meet him in the eye. He steered her gaze back to him.

“Well, I’m not that experienced with relationships but I know I’m going to get hurt either, ominous secret or not. Either you realise I’m worth shit and leave or I do something stupid and lose you.” Steve grabbed her hands and held it close to his heart.

“Impossible.” Darcy whispered. Steve shook his head with a goofy grin.

“But right here. Right now, I want this. Damn the future.” Darcy looked into his eyes. Not entirely sold with what he just said. What if he’s just saying this for her to agree and then when it all explodes, he’ll leave?

Darcy bit her lip. “Do you trust me?” she asked, she tried to still her beating heart.

Steve drew Darcy in close. His eyes were blazing with conviction.

“With my heart.” Darcy closed her eyes as tears streamed down her face. She rested her forehead against Steve’s.

“You’re making me want to kiss you.” she joked, her lips bumping with his as she talked.

“I’d like that.” Steve murmured and Darcy pressed her lips against his. His lips were soft and pliable. Steve threaded his fingers in her hair and pulled her closer. Darcy slid her hips closer and Steve moaned against her mouth. Darcy pulled back and saw Steve’s blood rush into his cheeks. Darcy laughed.  Steve’s hands went to grab the underside of her thighs and nuzzled the crook of her neck. Darcy ran her fingers through his hair and Steve started trailing wet kisses on her neck. Darcy let out a moan and grinded her hips. Steve pulled back and looked at her with wonder.

Darcy grabbed his hair and pulled his head back and kissed him hard. Steve’s eyes fluttered close. Darcy bit his bottom lip and pried his mouth open. Darcy slipped in her tongue and it didn’t take Steve long to reciprocate. Steve’s hands went to her hips and roamed her back. Darcy pulled back, gasping for breath, both of them hot and bothered. Steve’s eyes grew dark and Darcy was caught in the heat of his gaze.

“You wanna do this?” she asked, her fingers trailing down his chest towards his navel. Her eyes were following her fingers. She looked up at him, with innocent eyes.

“Yes.” he said breathily. Then Darcy watched as Steve’s eyes grow wide and his jaw slack as he watched her take off her shirt. _Happy Birthday to me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something went wrong. SO here's the complete chapter. I don't know how to beta but you can message me up in tumblr. I'm msdianaprince. This chapter was a rollercoaster but hope you enjoy it. Next chapter is smut?? yay? or nay?


	7. Her Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's point of view of things.

The first time Steve saw Darcy, it was just a glimpse of blue eyes and bursts of laughter. He was talking to Sharon.  They have gotten closer once he had the guts to ask her out after SHIELD fell. She helped him find possible places where Bucky would hide. (but by then he was already in New York)

Steve was finally moving in the tower, much to Sam’s delight. Sharon was talking to him about the DNA samples they have recovered from Bucky’s suspected hiding places.

“The place was clean. The only way we know for sure that Bucky was there is because of eye witness reports. Witness reports are always circumstantial, at best. ” Sharon said.

“What about that print we got off the doorframe?” Steve asked.

“The one you almost splintered trying to break the door down?” Sharon teased. Her attitude changed when Steve gave her an annoyed stare.

“It was only a partial.” She clipped. “I ran it in the system, the closest one we had was with one of the interns here in SI but that is unlikely since she was here the whole time. I investigated. She couldn’t have been in DC.” Sharon reported. Steve tried to not let the disappointment show.  Sharon rubbed the length of Steve’s arms.

“Hey.”  She said softly.  “We’ll find him.” She stood on her tiptoes and pecked him on the forehead. She then turned and walked away. As breakups go, it went pretty smoothly. Steve offered her to stay with him in the tower but she refused, saying she was needed more in DC than in New York. Steve understood and they parted in good terms.

Steve started to move towards the elevator when he heard someone let out a combination of a snort, giggle, and laugh. Steve looked around for the source and found two brunette women giggling with each other near the entrance. One had a tinier frame and looked like she was tipsy. It was evident since she was holding a bottle of vodka in her hand.  Steve looked at her partner and found that she was already staring back at him, her mouth agape and her eyes wide. _Her eyes._ It was crystal blue and Steve felt a rush of familiarity. Of course he didn’t know her, but the way she looked at him like he was an old friend, made him curious. The girl gathered her composure and smiled at him softly with the same comforting look in her eyes. Steve didn’t know if he should smile back, or wave, or nod in acknowledgement, or help her friend who was clearly losing balance. The moment he decided to approach her, she was gone. She towed her friend in one of the elevators on the other side of the room and Steve wasn’t sure if he would ever see her again.

 

* * *

 

The next week, Tony gave Steve a grand tour of the tower. They reached a highly classified floor that can only be accessed by a few. Steve could hear the beeping and whirring of machines before the doors even opened. Then he heard it, the same laugh.

“Here it is cap, every nerd’s dream.” He announced exaggeratingly. The lab was divided into three divisions. The first and highly obvious one is Stark’s R&D department. Mechanical tools lying around the floor, blueprints were flashing on the walls, and pieces of steel and various metals soldered together was on top of every table.

Steve noted the familiar scientist, Dr. Bruce Banner, hunched over a microscope surrounded by vials of blood, which Steve guessed was Banner’s. There were a few potted plants placed in random corners. A counter top stove stood out amongst the high tech machines and on it was a kettle. Beside it was a coffee maker.

The third space was filled with dozens of boards with equations written on them. On the far corner was the tipsy girl that Steve saw on the elevator, her head bent and focusing on whatever her right hand was scrawling on what seemed like a lid of a pizza box. Steve then thought that if she were here then her friend might be too.

“Brucey. Welcome Steve into our haven.” Dr. Banner looked up.

“Hey Steve.” He said and went immediately back to his work. Tony clicked his tongue.

“Where is your theatricality Banner? I am disappointed.” Tony mocked.  Bruce got up and walked over to the intern’s desk and opened a drawer. He grabbed a container full of glitter and scooped a handful. He threw it in an arc above his head and with a stone cold face he deadpanned. “Welcome.” Tony laughed as the glitter floated from the air into Bruce’s hair. His expression didn’t change as he went back to his work, his hair a pink glittery mess.

“Hey, someone touched my glitter.” Steve heard someone say.  He turned and it was the same girl from before. When their eyes met, she gave him the same smile and the same look in her eyes. It made Steve feel all warm and welcomed. It gave him comfort.  Steve felt his cheeks reddening.

“Theatricality.” Bruce muttered. She pried her eyes from Steve and took a good look at the scientist.

She went over to him and ruffled his hair. On cue, dusts of glitter fluttered into the air.

“Damn, that would be a bitch to clean.” She said, continuing to ruffle his hair. Steve was shocked to see Bruce act so neutral, as if the girl does this to him on a daily basis.

“A sacrifice he was willing to make.” Tony regarded. “C’mon Steven. Let’s blow something up.” Tony clapped his hands, motioning Steve back to the elevator. Steve wanted to stay a little longer. He wanted to talk to the girl and for starters ask her name. Then again, he would rather embarrass himself in front of the girl without Tony ready to mock him. So he figured he could talk to her the next time. Hey, at least he knew where she worked.

Steve felt a warm gaze on his back and turned around to see the girl smiling softly at him. Steve smiled back.  He saw her blush and his heart fluttered as he saw the girl tuck her hair back and look down bashfully. The smile never did leave her face, and so did his.

* * *

 

The next few days weren’t good to him. He and his team, which was just Clint and Natasha, were sent to Belgium when Maria was tipped that some HYDRA agents were planning to reinstate their organization. They stayed there for at least two weeks until the situation was contained. On the flight home Natasha sat next to Steve.

“So, how are you and Sharon?” Natasha asked.

Steve shrugged.  “She wanted to stay in DC.” He said. To be honest with himself, he was too fixated on the idea of finding Bucky that he wasn’t fully committed in a relationship both he and Sharon knew that.

“He’s got eyes for Darcy now, Nat.” Clint said as he stuffed a ham sandwich in his mouth.  Steve looked around the small jet and couldn’t figure out how Barton procured one.  Steve wanted one too.

“Her name’s Darcy?” Steve asked, the name of the girl finally revealed to him.

Natasha smiled her all-knowing smirk. “Darcy Lewis. She’s Jane Foster’s intern.”  Steve nodded, committing the info into memory

After, Steve let him be swept away by Natasha and Clint’s conversation about which of his arrows was the coolest.

“Boomerang arrow Clint? Really?” Natasha scoffed.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve was sitting on the couch, writing his after action report when he saw Darcy step out of the elevator. There were music buds in her ear and she shimmied to the beat of the song playing. Steve watched her as she bopped and skipped her way in the room, wearing nothing but a loose shirt and shorts. She was lip-syncing and stuck in her own world. When she whipped her head to the left, she caught sight of Steve and she blushed, suddenly embarrassed.

She removed the buds on her ears. “Hey Steve.” She greeted.

“Hello Darcy.” Steve said.

“Can we just pretend that you didn’t see me?” she asked. Steve chuckled.

“Well, how could I unsee that?” he joked. Darcy grinned at him as she shook her head.

“Unsee what?” Clint barged into the room. He gave Darcy the once over and gave a low whistle.

“Dang Darce, you have monster thighs.” Clint joked. Darcy faced him and glared daggers at him. Steve bristled at Clint’s lewd comment.  Darcy stalked out of the room.  Steve turned to give Clint a lecture when she reappeared carrying a watermelon.

“Um, Darcy?” Clint asked. Darcy didn’t respond and her glare never left Clint’s face. She picked up a marker and wrote on the watermelon. _CLINT’S HEAD._ She showed it to Clint  as she placed it between her legs and started squeezing. Clint laughed.

“Careful Darcy. You’ll hurt yourself.” Clint joked. Just then, Steve watched as Darcy effortlessly crushed the watermelon between her legs. Bits and pieces of it were flying. Steve turned to see Clint try to mask his surprise and his fear. Darcy then flipped him off and walked out of the room, leaving a mess.

“What happened?” Pepper asked as she took in the sight of two bewildered men and pieces of watermelon strewn across the floor.

“Darcy.” Clint muttered.

“What?” Pepper asked, her arms folding over her chest in annoyance.

“Darcy crushed a whole watermelon with her thighs.” Clint said in awe. Pepper looked shock for a brief moment, then she started laughing.

“It’s true.” Clint said.

“Oh I know it’s true.” Pepper replied. “Clint go to Darcy and apologize. Now.” Clint nodded and said “Yes, Ma’am.”

“Oh and Steve.” Pepper called him.

“Yes Pepper?” he asked.

“You have hearts in your eyes.” She joked as she walked out of the room, requesting JARVIS to clean up the mess.  In that moment, Steve knew he was a goner.

* * *

 

After that, he never had a chance to talk to Darcy. He was always too busy finding leads, always going back and forth from DC. Whenever he tried to visit the lab Darcy wasn’t there, he’d ask Jane but even she didn’t know where her intern was. The night she found him sulking was just a stroke of luck in his part.

Then right now, he has her in his arms, naked and satiated. He watched her bare back, the sides of her chest falling and rising. He has never been happier in his life. Still, she was enigmatic as ever. He felt like an explorer finally finding the chest filled with treasure only to find it locked. It bothered him, that Darcy won’t tell him what’s wrong. He didn’t pry, as much as he wanted to.  He finally had her in his arms, so he doesn’t want to mess it up.

He trailed his finger down the length of her calf up to her thigh. He leaned close and whispered in her ear. “You know. I practically seen every inch of your skin and I haven’t seen a spot of ink.”

Darcy turned to face him. She raised herself on her fore arms and gave him a mischievous smirk. “Oh honey there is, buried under layers of make-up.” She leaned in and placed a kiss on Steve’s lips. She pulled away before Steve got to deepen it.

“A girl’s got to have her secrets, Steve. It’s part of the allure.” Steve tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“I can’t wait to find out all your dirty secrets.” He said playfully. Darcy tried to mask her guilt and gave him a smile. She looked at the clock and found out it was already close to five a.m.

“Get some sleep.” Darcy tried to get up but Steve caught her by the arm.

“Stay.” Darcy was shocked to see Steve so scared at the thought of her leaving.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She reassured him. She pulled of Steve’s shirt off the floor. Steve sighed and pulled Darcy in closer.

“I hate the cold.” Darcy whispered, her head buried in the crook of his neck.

“Then let me warm you up.” Steve said as both of them drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. I just started college so I guess the chapters would get updated later than usual. Also this is unbeta-ed since I keep asking for betas but they don't message me in tumblr. (How do communicate??) Anyway send me some Steve/Darcy date prompts that could be a part of this universe. Special prize is that it could be added to chapters (credits will be given) I'm msdianaprince.tumblr.com. Enjoy the story. Also message me in tumblr.


	8. Now I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They will give their daughter the life she deserve. They will keep loving her even though they were told from early on that they were not going to be a part of her life. They will be a part of her life, Natasha will make sure of it. They will love her. For a brief moment, Natasha held his hand. She thought.
> 
>  
> 
> And we will love each other. "

Darcy had a lot of scars, Steve noticed. It marred her back, arms, shoulders, and legs. Steve didn’t notice at first. He was too caught up with Darcy’s company. Although, as he looked at her while she slept, Steve couldn’t help but wonder. What had Darcy been through?

He would ask, sometimes. Darcy’s eyes would widen and she looked like she had a heated argument inside her head. Steve would wait until Darcy would shrug it off and say that it’s no big deal. Steve’s eyes followed the line of a long scar in between her shoulder blades and Steve knew it was deep enough to require stitches. He wanted to touch it, to let his callous fingers glide through her stitched up skin. He wanted to know.

He tried to remember what he read of Darcy’s file. The only out of this world experience she had was regarding Thor. None of those incidents reported that she acquired any injuries. So, where did she get them?

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha watched as she read Dr. Cho’s report on Clint’s injury. She pulled up a picture of his x-ray. He’s jaw was nearly broken. _Darcy couldn’t have hit him that hard._ She tried to apply the physics of Darcy’s move and maybe it was plausible considering that she put her whole weight on the hit.

There was a nagging feeling on the back of her head. The scene looked familiar somehow. Natasha thought that it was just her memories acting up on her. She never had a reliable memory when it comes to her life, _before._ Natasha heard Darcy murmur in Russian and she froze.

She didn’t really think too much about it as Clint lied down on the floor in agony. Clint has suffered worse, but the surprise made the blow a lot more painful, for his ego.

The first time Natasha saw Darcy, she felt –something- . She introduced herself as Darcy Lewis and shook her hand. Natasha knew it wasn’t attraction, sexual or romantic. There was just something in the deepest part of her mind, the one she is always afraid to delve in, that made her want to know Darcy a bit more and be her friend.

Darcy was a peculiar girl. Natasha did notice her random disappearances. Natasha wanted to ask, but she stopped herself. It wasn’t her business. Darcy always avoided training sessions, she and the others would offer. This was the first time she was in the training mat and Natasha down played her shock as she saw Darcy move gracefully around the ring, dodging Clint’s punches and kicks. Natasha watched as Darcy dodged and spun on instinct. The form was familiar. She knew that technique somewhere but she couldn’t remember. It has been nagging her all day. Natasha knew she had to ask Darcy but she was the master of avoiding topics. She noticed a scene where Steve asked her where she was the whole day and she turned the conversation around and started talking about Tony’s latest project.  Steve was so engrossed in the conversation that he didn’t even notice the subject change. Natasha was impressed, surprised, but impressed.

Then, Natasha was stupid enough to call Darcy by her daughter’s name. That was so reckless of her. She shouldn’t have down that. She just wanted to see if she was okay. The poor thing had a terrible panic attack. She found her in what Natasha called the “Dance Room” She forced Tony into installing her one just because. 

Natasha looked at Darcy in wonder as she danced her heart out. She was graceful, poised, and beautiful. Darcy didn’t belong in that room. She belonged on a stage. Out of the blue an image of her and Darcy dancing on stage started appearing in her head. As the routine would end, everyone in the audience would be on their feet. Natasha looked on at the crowd but she only saw the loving stare of a pair of familiar blue eyes.

Natasha shook herself out of her stupor and went to talk to Darcy. The song ended and the brunette noticed Natasha’s reflection in the mirror. It practically went downhill from there.

Why did she even call her that? _Darya_. Her little girl. Natasha wanted to puke. She pushed the memory in the farthest part of her mind. Her one, fatal mistake. Her greatest weakness.

She made it in the bathroom quick enough to throw up what was left of her lunch in the toilet. She leaned back on the cool tile wall and sucked in a breath.

She couldn’t help it anymore. She sat there and curled her knees to her chest as an onslaught of mismatched and patchy memories started flooding.

_Natasha was told that it was time for her to push. A surge of panic ran through her. She was familiar with pain. Pain was her friend. But this, this was a whole new other level. It felt like her body was trying to rip herself apart._

_Yakov was by her side, his face white as a sheet. He looked panicked and he winced as Natasha gripped his hand a little too tight. Natasha screamed as she pushed. The midwife was coaxing and cheering her on. Natasha couldn’t hear her behind the drumming of blood in her ears. Tears streamed down her cheeks._

_She pushed again, her screams filling the room. No one was there except for her, Yakov, and the midwife. They said they had no business with these types of affairs. Natasha couldn’t be more grateful. It would be more awkward to give birth while a dozen people would watch. Natasha felt vulnerable. She hated it._

_/*One more push.*/  The midwife said. Natasha looked up at Yakov dead in the eye and mouthed “Help me.” Natasha was shocked to see tears silently fall on his cheeks. Her bestfriend, her mentor, and her lover looked utterly devastated that he couldn’t do anything to help her. She glanced at the midwife and she acted like she didn’t notice._

_/*I’m sorry. I can’t help you. Just one more push.*/ he pleaded. He bent down and kissed her forehead. Natasha closed her eyes for a moment and looked up at him. She gathered what was left of her strength and added the strength he gave to her and after one agonizing push, she broke down in tears as she heard her baby cry as she finally came out._

_Natasha wanted to pass out but the excitement of finally seeing her baby girl outweighed her exhaustion. The midwife cut the umbilical cord and wrapped the baby girl in a fresh towel. She came over, grinning from ear to ear. Natasha accepted the baby and laid her against her bosom. Natasha smiled as the baby opened her blue eyes, her skin a pale pink and little tufts of brown hair were on her crown._

_Natasha heard the midwife exit the room, probably to alert the others of the news. It didn’t matter to her anymore._

_/*What should we name her?*/ he asked. Natasha looked up and saw him smile the brightest smile she had ever seen._

_/*Darya.*/ she said. /*I like Darya.*/ Yakov nodded in agreement._

_/*Darya Rebecca*/ he added. Natasha smiled at him._

_/*Darya Rebecca Yekmenev.*/ Oh, Natasha was filled with love at that moment. She wanted to kiss the surprised look on his face._

_/*Of course she’s going to have your name.*/ she concluded. Darya giggled and Natasha melted at the sound. She raised the baby towards her father._

_/*Do you want to hold her?*/ she asked. Yakov wasn’t sure if he should but Natasha gently placed Darya in his arms. Natasha could see his fear as he tried to hold her, afraid that he will hurt her. Once he figured out how, (with Natasha’s help) Natasha saw him cradle their child. She couldn’t be happier than this moment. She was willing to forget who they really were and let herself pretend that they were just a newly formed family._

_Natasha shifted in her bed to make some space for him. He looked at her questioningly. She patted the spot next to him and he obliged. He sat upright on the bed. He gave Darya back to her mother and she leaned on his side. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled them closer. Both of them looked at their child with love. Darya nestled on Natasha chest and she cooed._

_Natasha could hear the sound of footsteps outside. She closed her eyes and pressed her face on Yakov’s shoulder. She wanted just a few more minutes. She felt Yakov stiffen and they heard a harsh knock on the door. He got off the bed and stood. Natasha knew the moment was over. They would return to their routines and missions. They’ll surrender their child to the people who made them monsters._ NO! _Natasha’s mind screamed at her. She held her daughter close and as the door knob turned to open, she locked her eyes at Yakov, both of them swearing to each other in agreement that no matter what happens, they’ll escape. They will give their daughter the life she deserve. They will keep loving her even though they were told from early on that they were not going to be a part of her life. They will be a part of her life, Natasha will make sure of it. They will love her. For a brief moment, Natasha held his hand. She thought._

And we will love each other.

 

Natasha was sobbing in the bathroom. Her fists clutching at her hair. She tried to gasp for breath. Her little girl. The pain was unbearable. She would rather give birth all over again if it meant that she could hold her only daughter again.

 

* * *

 

“You were named after her.” He said. Darcy approached her father as he stared down his sister’s tombstone. It was almost midnight and the moonlight made her father’s metal arm glow.

She found him there. When she went inside her father’s hiding place, he was nowhere to be found. Darcy swallowed her panic as she found a note with an address written on it. Alongside it was a receipt for a bouquet of flowers.

His sister’s grave was perched under a tree, alongside with her husband’s and her mother’s and his. Her father’s gravestone was weathered and was under the shade, making it hard to find in this setting.

Darcy moved to her father’s side and looped his arm with hers. She leaned her head on his shoulder and gave his bicep a squeeze.

“The first time I saw you, you were so tiny.  I wanted to hold you but I was afraid I would hurt you.” He smiled and looked down on her. He gave her forehead a kiss.

“Your mother had a hard time trying to deliver you.” Darcy felt a hollow ache as he mentioned her mother. She was still angry. But then, after the incident. She seldom sees Natasha anymore. Maybe it’s a good thing.

“When she started suggesting names, the name Rebecca came to mind. I didn’t know why or how I came up with it out of nowhere. I just knew that I had to name you Rebecca.”  Darcy read the tombstone in front of her.

_Rebecca B. Smith. Loving mother, wife, daughter, and sister. Born August 21 1934. Died December 12 2001._

“She made you promise. Didn’t she?” she said. Bucky chuckled.

“I remember. It was the first time I brought home a girl. She was so happy. She didn’t ask for the girl’s name. She flat out asked when we were going to get married.” Darcy smiled.

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen.” Darcy laughed. “She then kept begging me to name my first child after her. Regardless if it was a boy.”

“What happened next?” She felt her phone vibrating as someone called her. She ignored it. She already told everyone that she was going to sleep and locked her doors. JARVIS wouldn’t open the door unless Darcy said so.

“I broke up with my girlfriend a week after, much to her disappointment. She pouted for days. Then, I agreed to name my first child after her. I was back in her good graces.” He smiled. Darcy watched as his smile started to turn into a grimace.

“She married Daniel Smith, five years after the war. Not before graduating and starting med school.” Her father’s hands balled in fists.

“She got her medical license and started working for the Veterans Memorial Medical Center. After seven years, she became the director.” Darcy sighed. It must be devastating for her father. They buried an empty casket. They believed he was dead. Darcy looked at her father’s tombstone, making out its silhouette.

_Maybe it would be better if it stayed that way._  She thought.

“She named her son after me.” He said. His voice came out strangled and Darcy knew he was holding back tears.

Bucky fell to his knees and sobbed.

“I’m sorry Becca. I’m so sorry.” He buried his face with his hands. Darcy knelt down with him and held him close. She shed a few tears of her own, for her aunt, who would’ve been someone Darcy could’ve love and emulate.

“Shh. Dad, it’s alright. No one can hurt her now.” She tried to comfort him. That was the only thing she could say. She let him cry in her arms until he quieted down to soft whimpers.

“Are you alright?” Bucky nodded. She pulled him up to stand. He stood groggily, his metal hand swiping the snot off his nose. Darcy handed him her kerchief and made to get his coat and gloves that were hanging from a low branch.

“You know what we need?” she said to him.

“What?” he asked and accepted the clothes she offered him.

“Ice cream.”

“I’m down for some ice cream.” Darcy smiled. Bucky shrugged on his jacket and wore his gloves. Darcy gasped exaggeratingly.

“It covers your fingers!” she said, her hand on her chest, faking her shock.

“Stop mocking me. I am a senior citizen.” He mocked. They walked towards the gate. 

“Am I rattling your suspenders grandpa?” Darcy laughed as they both walked to the nearest convenience store to buy the creamy dairy goodness.

They both walked on the sidewalk, the busy hum of New York nightlife reminded Darcy that they were simultaneously alone and in public. Darcy was fascinated with it when she was on missions with her parents. They were all in deep cover. They would walk past buildings, eat at restaurants, even go inside a church and no one will ever know who they were and what they were going to do. Nobody just didn’t care.

“So, what else do you remember?” she asked her father. She took a bite out of her mint choco chip ice cream. Some of it went to her nose and her father wiped it off with his thumb.

“Not much. I remember taking care of Steve whenever it rains. His body was weaker, he would get sick if it was too cold.” He said as he ate his vanilla and caramel swirl.

Darcy hummed and nodded. “About Steve.” She started.

“You together?”

“Yup.” Darcy said, biting off a piece of her waffle cone.

“And?” He raised a brow at her. Darcy preoccupied herself by eating what’s left of her ice cream. She dug up a piece of tissue from her bag and wiped it on her face.

“He’s great dad.” Darcy couldn’t help but smile as she thought of Steve.

“Does he know?” Darcy knew what her father meant. The smile quickly tuned into a deep frown.

They made a random left turn and found themselves in an alley a block away from central park.

“I told you. No one knows.” She said. Her mouth was set into a straight line as she contemplated.

“You want to tell him?” he asked. He too has finished off his cone and started wiping crumbs off his shirt.

“Badly. He keeps asking questions. He saw my scars. I stopped hiding them one by one a few weeks in on the relationship.” She admitted. She practically memorized Steve’s look of concern as he noticed a deep gash on the side of her forearm.

“What did you do?” he asked as they sat on the park bench.

“I didn’t answer. He respects me enough to let me keep my secrets.” Darcy shrugged.

“Why won’t you tell him the truth?” Darcy’s brows went up.

“The same reason why you wouldn’t come home.” She spat out. They sat in silence as Darcy tried to calm herself. The last thing she needed was to get into an argument.

“You could just lie.” He murmured.

“That’s worse.” Darcy said. She didn’t want to lie anymore. She hid the truth but it was for her own sake, her own safety.

“I’ve had enough lies Dad. I don’t want to end up like you and mom.” She said. She knew what she said had hurt him in a way. Honestly, she was halfway to becoming her mother. All she needed now was a nice cat suit.

“You’re right. You should be better than us.” Her father agreed. Darcy felt her phone vibrate again and she fished it out. It was a text from Steve.

_Hey, you still up? I’ve been calling you and you wouldn’t answer._

_I guess you’re asleep. Ha._

_I can’t sleep Darce._

Darcy read the third text and it was sent five minutes ago. She looked at her father.

“Go to him. I’ll be fine.” She kissed her father on the cheek.

“I love you papa.” Bucky stiffened but he smiled back.

“I love you too Iapochka.” Darcy stood and gave Bucky a few extra dollars for him to spend.

“Tell him I send my regards.” Darcy stuck her tongue at him and left.

_Hey, I’m awake. Give me a few minutes._

Darcy walked briskly, almost turning into a full on sprint. She was almost at the tower when Steve replied.

_I’ll just be here. Don’t bother about the door being locked._

Darcy smiled as she sneaked inside and rode the service elevator.

“Hello Ms. Lewis. Where have you been off too?” She heard JARVIS ask.

“It’s a secret.” Darcy whispered like a five year old child, her index finger pressed against her lips.

“I take it that I should not inform the others and let you arrive as discreet as possible?” He asked.

“Just like usual.” Darcy said. She wasn’t concerned of JARVIS telling the others and/or spying on her. There was no curfew in the tower. It’s not a dormitory for scientists and superheroes. Even though Tony likes to stick his nose in things that isn’t his business, JARVIS respected everyone’s privacy. If Tony got out of hand, the AI would automatically dial Pepper.

Darcy changed as quickly as she could and arrived on Steve’s doorstep. She turned the knob and the door opened. She closed it softly and padded through the living room and went to find Steve. She found him lying on his back staring at the ceiling. His phone resting on his chest.

“Hey.” She said softly.

Steve rose halfway and leaned on his forearms. His hair was a mess and his eyes were tired and needed some rest. _Nightmares._ Darcy concluded. She had the same look on her too whenever she had one.

“Hey.” He replied. He smiled at her and Darcy still blushed. They have been dating for almost a month now and the butterflies never left her stomach.

She walked towards him and crawled on top of the bed. He shifted and Darcy laid down on his side. Her head resting on his chest. Her hair was tickling his nose. Steve put his phone on his nightstand and wrapped his arms around her.

“How do you do that?” Steve asked absent mindedly.

“Do what?” she said,

“You smell like flowers. You always smell good.” Steve took a deep breath. Darcy smiled. She craned her neck and looked up at him.

“You want me to stay the night?” she asked. Darcy was already used to sleeping next to Steve. His strong arms wrapped around her middle while she slept gave her security. Some nights she couldn’t sleep alone just because she missed the warmth of his body next to her.

“Please?” Darcy rose and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Okay.”  Steve smiled at her. He tucked the stray hairs on her face kissed her again.

Darcy pulled away, wanting to sleep and cuddle instead. Steve took the hint and raised the duvet to cover them.

“Can I be the big spoon?” Darcy whispered. Steve turned around in answer and Darcy slipped her right arm under his neck, the other wrapped around his waist. She pulled herself closer to him. She tangled his legs with hers.  She pressed her lips on his cheek.

“Go to sleep.” She whispered in his ear. Steve kissed the inside of her wrist and murmured something but Darcy didn’t know what. She already felt her eyelids getting heavier. The last thing she heard was Steve’s light snoring.

 

* * *

 

Darcy woke up to the savory smell of bacon being fried. She smiled as she remembered that she was at Steve’s. She got up from bed and stumbled her way into the kitchen. Darcy watched her supersoldier, dressed only in sweatpants and a shirt, cook breakfast.

She walked towards him. She hugged him from behind and enveloped him in her arms.

“You’re awake.” Darcy could hear the smile in his voice.

“Mhmmm… The smell of good food is the best wake up call.” Steve laughed.

He turned the stove off, the bacon still sizzling. He spun and reciprocated the hug.

“Morning.” He said. He kissed the crown of her head. Darcy squeezed his waist and let go. She got plates and set the table.

She sat as Steve plated their breakfast. Darcy couldn’t help but feel happy. He looked magnificent as he sat across from her. The morning light from the window made his blonde hair glow like a halo.

“What?” he asked. He took a bite of his sunny side up egg. Darcy was grinning at him.

“Nothing. I just… I like this.” She pierced the bacon with her fork and ate it. She looked at her plate, her cheeks reddening as Steve stared at her.

“Then stay.” Darcy looked up at him and saw his sincerity.

“What do you mean?” She asked, half dreading and half elated at what she thinks he meant.

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “It means what you want it to mean.” He said in a slightly serious tone.

“Well,” Darcy stood and Steve dragged his seat backward for her to sit on his lap. She looped her arms around his neck. “if it means that we could just spend the whole day in our pajamas watching Netflix and eating freshly baked brownies then I’m game.”

Steve’s seriousness was wiped away and he laughed softly.

“That was totally what I meant.” He replied as his arms circled her waist. Darcy could see that Steve was holding back. She looked at him fondly.

 Deep in his cerulean eyes was a door of secrets that he kept and she knew she had the same. There were so many times where Darcy wanted, _needed,_ to tell him. To just fuck the universe and blurt the truth out. _Veritas Liberabit Vos._ The truth will set you free. All Darcy wanted for once in her life, was to be free. She wanted to be free to act, to love, to be, to live. Maybe if things were different. Maybe if she wasn’t who she really was. Maybe. But if it were, who will she be?

“Where are you Darce?” Steve asked softly. Darcy looked at Steve’s pensive face. Darcy sighed and slouched. She rested her forehead against his.

“Somewhere far away.” She murmured. Steve hugged her tighter and Darcy stroked his hair.

“Thank you Steve. Thanks for putting up with me.” She murmured. She let out her breath and relaxed.

“Darce, don’t be mad but I asked Sam on how to deal with this.” Darcy pulled back and looked at Steve. He seemed scared. He looked like he expected her to scream, get angry, and walk out the door.

She smiled. She ran her hand down his face, to reassure him that she isn’t angry.

“It’s alright Steve. I’m not mad. In fact, I love you more because of it.” She said. Her mind lost in his eyes.

Steve looked stunned. He froze. Darcy furrowed her brow and tried to rethink on the words she said.

“You love me?” he asked. Darcy looked down and blushed. She tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Yeah.” Steve went quiet. Anxiety bubbled in Darcy’s stomach at being vulnerable.

“Look, you don’t have to say it back. I” Steve put his finger under Darcy’s chin and directed her gaze back to him.

“Darce, how can I not love you?” he said with a silly grin on his face. Immediately a voice in her head spoke to her. _OH there are a LOT of reasons._ Darcy felt tears in her eyes as the voice took form of her mother. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. She bit her lip.

“Darcy Rebecca Lewis.” He called to her. “I love you.” She let her tears slip and Steve wiped it away with his thumb.

“That is such a relief to hear.” She whispered. The voice kept speaking to her louder and louder, reminding her of everything she hates about herself. She fought it back. Steve loved her. He flat out said it. Darcy believed him. Darcy wants to believe him.

“Well, let me say it again. I love you Darcy Lewis.” She smiled and closed the gap between them, morning breath be damned. Steve tasted salty from the bacon and she deepened the kiss. She started tugging on his hair. Steve groaned and kissed her cheek and down to her neck.

Steve loved her. She kept repeating in her head but there was _something_ he said that made her unsure. Steve nipped at the skin behind her ear and she let out a moan. Steve sucked on the skin of her neck and she ground her hips against his growing erection. Darcy gasped as Steve harden his grip on her hips. Steve stood with Darcy in tow. She crossed her legs around his hips and held on tight. She found his lips again. They stumbled across the hall towards his room. Steve accidentally bumped Darcy on the door frame.

“Fuck.” Steve muttered as he opened his eyes. Darcy hissed on impact. She laughed a few moments later.

“Eyes on the road, soldier.” She mocked.

“Bite me.” He replied as he sidestepped. Darcy licked her swollen lips and Steve’s eyes focused on it instantly.

“Maybe later.” She joked. Steve kissed the smirk off her lips. He carried her to the bedroom. There were _so_ close the bed when Steve tripped on his shield on the floor. Darcy landed on the mattress with an oomph.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck.” Steve let out a string of curses and Darcy laughed out loud.

“Language Steve.” Steve kicked the shield aside and moved up the bed. His head was hovering over her, their lips inches apart.

“I am so ruining the moment.” He smiled.

“You love me Steve. Nothing could ruin that.” Steve nuzzled her neck and hummed.

“Plus,” Steve looked up at her. Her hand went from his chest, down to his sweatpants. “I don’t think the moment is ruined.” She raised a brow at him and palmed his erection.

Steve hissed as his hips bucked in response. Darcy smirked and dragged Steve’s lips back to her. She learned from the first time Steve made _love_ to her. Even the phrase made her giddy. Kiss Steve and every shy inhibition he has disappears. He practically loses himself in their kisses and it drives Darcy crazy.

Darcy managed to roll him to his back and straddle him.

“Darce, you’re so beautiful.” He said. Darcy’s heart fluttered. She bent down and kissed the side of his lips. She kissed his nose, his chin, his forehead, both of his closed eyelids. Steve sighed. Darcy’s lips hovered over his and Steve stuck his tongue out to kiss her but Darcy pulled away.

Darcy moved her hips up and down Steve’s full erection and his hands went to grip her ass. Darcy closed her eyes and bit her lip. The friction felt so good.

“Darcy.” Steve moaned. Her attention went back to Steve. His face was twisted as he was holding back. Darcy gripped the sides of his face and trailed her fingers on his cheeks. She gently placed her lips against his. She took his bottom lip and sucked. He groaned and his hands went up her shirt and settled on her breasts. Darcy’s breath hitched when he started kneading them.

Darcy leaned back and took her shirt off. Steve followed suit and sat up. He bent his head and took one of her breast in his mouth and palmed the other. Darcy closed her eyes and pursed her lips at the pleasure and pulled Steve’s head closer. Steve pulled back, his hot steamy breath on her nipple gave her goosebumps.

“Darce.” She looked up at him. He had the bashful smile on his face again. He gently pulled her face close to his and he kissed her lightly. He drew back and nibbled that lobe of her ear.

“I want you to ride me like a horse.” He whispered in her ear, his hot breath tickling her.

She moaned at his words and stood, her balance a little wobbly on the mattress. Steve held her calves and ran his fingers up and down her legs.

“Sorry I didn’t shave.” She said as her fingers pinched her shorts’ waistband. Steve chuckled.

“Honey, I don’t give a damn.” Darcy beamed.

“It is possible to love you more.” Steve started trailing kisses down her thigh, his stubble grazing her skin.

Darcy shimmied a little dance while she slipped her shorts down her legs. Steve stared up in wonder and swallowed the lump in his throat. She removed the only article of clothing left and sat back down.

She gently lowered Steve back down and kissed him back. His fingers trailed up and down her body. Darcy pulled back when she saw Steve gaze to her collarbone. She bit her lip as his fingers focused on the one inch scar on her left.

Darcy remembered how she got it. She remembers all of her scars.

_Darcy was on her back, pinned on the ground. She was wrestling with her target as he tried to drive the dagger in her chest. The wind was whipping her air as she fought back on the roof of a skyscraper. She pushed her attacker’s arm back. The dagger was penetrating her skin and she felt hot pain as blood drooled out of the wound. She screamed in agony.  The knife was an already deep when Darcy kneed him on his rib. It was his turn to scream as Darcy heard the snap of a broken rib. She shoved him off her with such force that he rolled of the roof and fell to his doom._

_Darcy applied pressure at the wound and cursed at herself. “Ivanov would be so pissed.” She thought to herself._

_True enough, Ivanov’s moustache clad face was turning red and the vein bulging in his forehead was almost going to pop._

_“He was an asset! We needed him alive!” he shouted at Darcy, her fingers pale as blood was still trickling down to her chest._

_“Which asset do u need more? Him or me?” she said through gritted teeth. There was another person in the room. In the corner of her eye she could see him. Brown hair, military uniform, sleezy grin on his face, Darcy’s hands balled into fists._

_“Don’t play this card with me you insolent child!”_

_“Child?! I am more than a child.” She fought back. It wasn’t good to fight back. There are always consequences when you fight back. Darcy didn’t care. She has done enough damaged. They have damaged her enough. They could kill her right then and there. She didn’t care anymore._

_Ivanov slammed his fist on the desk. He glared at Darcy and she glared._

_“Dmitri. Teach Agent Yekmenev a lesson.” He walked over to him._

_“Break every bone in both of her arms. If she fights, break one of her ribs.” Darcy heard him say. She ground her teeth together as the General walked out of the room and Dmitri cast her a dark gaze._

“Darcy. Darcy. I’m sorry. “ He repeated and repeated as Darcy pinched her eyes shut.

“Now that’s ruining the moment.” She said bitterly. She tried to breathe evenly as she remembered her arms snapping like twigs.

“Darcy. Open your eyes. You’re with me. You’re safe.” Steve cradled her face in his hands. Darcy opened her eyes and let herself be calm by Steve. He hugged her and rubbed his hands soothingly on her back. Darcy hugged him back fiercely.

“Darcy. Darce. Hey.” He whispered softly in her ear. Darcy leaned back and looked at him, tears pooling in her eyes.

“You’re safe. You’re with me.” He reassured. Darcy looked at anything but Steve. Shame washed over her and she wrapped her arms around herself. Steve pried her arms away from her person.

“Darcy. I love you.” He said. Darcy closed her eyes. _He loves me. He loves me._ She thought. Steve gently set Darcy on her back and placed butterfly kisses in her cheek.

“Is this okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah.” Darcy breathed out.  Steve’s kisses went from her cheek, down to her chin. He kissed her neck and Darcy gasped. Darcy felt his lips on her scar and she sucked in a breath through clenched teeth.

Steve raised his head to look at her. His eyes were asking permission for him.  Darcy looked back at him, trying to read his intentions. Then she realized, she doesn’t need to read his face or try and figure out what he wanted. She could just ask.

“What are you doing?” she asked him. Steve blushed.

“I want to show how much I love you. Scars and all.” He replied. Darcy swallowed. She pushed back, every inhibition, every doubt, and every thought. She let herself feel. She felt loved. She held Steve close and whispered in his ear.

“I won’t stop you.” She saw Steve smirk and resumed his ministrations on her collar bone. What was once a shy inhibition slowly turned into hot passion as Steve nipped and sucked at the tender skin. After a few moments Steve stopped and moved his head towards her right forearm, giving butterfly kisses in the spaces between. There, another scar marred her skin. He kissed it, muttering the words ‘I love you’ in between. He did this again on the scar on her left wrist, the scar on her hip, and on every scar on her body until she couldn’t remember the painful causes of her marks, only Steve’s love.

Darcy felt light headed as Steve pressed his lips on the inside of her thighs. She smirked. There was no scar there.

Steve looked up at her again. Darcy nodded in response. Steve smiled and Darcy’s heart fluttered. Darcy was brimming with happiness. Darcy sat up and cupped Steve’s face in her hands and kissed him fiercely. She let out her appreciation, her thanks, her love, into that one kiss. Steve threaded his fingers in her hair and tugged. Darcy moaned in his mouth. Her hands went from his shoulders down to the waistband of his sweatpants. She tugged it down, her nails scraping his skin. Steve hissed. Darcy muttered an apology but Steve dragged her mouth back to his. He kicked his legs free from his pants. Darcy twined her legs on his hips and she could feel the head of his cock alongside her thigh.

“Steve.” She moaned. She threw her head back in the mattress. Darcy snaked her hand between their bodies and settled on his cock. Steve groaned and his hips bucked in response. Her hand guided the tip of his erection to the lips in between her legs, dragging it up and down, up and down. She could already feel her hand become slippery.

“Oh god. Darcy.” Steve moaned into her neck.  Darcy bit her lip. It was torture for them both, but it felt _so good._

Steve kissed her again with a sense of urgency. His right hand went to circle her clit and Darcy’s mouth shaped into an ‘O’. Steve kept kissing her still. They teased each other for what felt like hours, hands wet and smelling like sex.

“Steve. Steve.” She said in between breaths. “Please.” She begged. On cue, Steve let Darcy guide his cock to her entrance. Slowly, Steve filled her inch by inch. He buried his face on the crook of her neck. Darcy closed her eyes as Steve pushed into her, giving her white hot pleasure. As Steve settled, Darcy let out a sigh. She gripped the sides of Steve’s face and dragged his lips back to hers. She kissed him with fervor, tongues moving forcefully inside each other’s mouths. His hands gripped her thighs hard. He begun to thrust just like the way she taught him to. He pulled out in a slow and agonizing manner only to thrust back hard. Darcy held on to his shoulders as Steve moved in and out, in and out.

The pressure started to build in her core, spreading to her legs and to her arms. Steve kept muttering unintelligibly as he went back to nuzzle her neck. He sucked on her earlobe. Darcy kept calling out to him. The louder she said his name the harder and more frantic he thrusts. She knew there would be bruises on her thighs by the end of this but she didn’t care. Steve was getting more unhinged every second and so was she. Steve started to lose rhythm and Darcy knew he was close. She was too, but she just needed something more.

Steve lost the grip of her right thigh and rubbed his thumb on her clit. Darcy let out a strangled moan. She arched her back as the tension broke, pleasure flowing in her body in waves. Steve shouted as Darcy pulsed around his member. One more thrust and he froze as he came. Darcy watched as Steve became completely let go. Steve slumped and lied on top of her, his energy completely depleted.

Both of them were starting to regain their breaths. Their muscles felt like jelly. Darcy closed her eyes and tried to savor the moment. Her body was still languid and her eyes were so close to drifting to sleep.

“Am I mmmghgn?” Steve asked. His voice muzzled by the skin of her shoulder.

“What’s that honey?” she giggled. Steve moved his head. His left cheek pressing her shoulder.

“Am I crushing you?” he asked. Darcy giggled again making Steve’s head bounce.

“Not really. If you wanna move though I’m not stopping you.” Steve stood still and lowered his head to listen to Darcy’s heartbeat. Darcy’s hand went to stroke his hair. They stayed like this for a moment.

“I love you Darcy Lewis.” He whispered. She closed her eyes and let a few tears slip.

“I love you too Steve Rogers.” She said aloud.  Darcy could feel his smile against her skin.

Steve slowly pulled out and rolled over. Darcy sighed as his weight was lifted off of her. He stood and made towards the bathroom. The goofy smile he had never left his face. Before he went inside he looked back at her and Darcy’s heart soared at the twinkle in his eyes. She smiled at him too. When he closed the door behind him, her smile disappeared. A wave of bitterness washed over her and she tried to fight it back. She realized why it felt so bittersweet, no matter how many times Steve said he loved her.

He said he loved Darcy Rebecca Lewis. That’s not even her real name. That’s not the real her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Have a lengthy chapter. I would like to thank my beta mcgregorswench ( that's her tumblr btw. I dunno about her psuedonym here aaaaaah) anyway. I really hope you like this chapter cause its going to be a long while. Also, I really need you guys to review this or leave a comment. You don't know how much it helps. Anyway, i love you guys. I love my beta. She's the best. Enjoy.


	9. All Around Me Are Familiar Faces (Too Familiar)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of us are just broken toys.

Darcy’s anger bubbled up inside of her as she read the coroner’s report. _Cause of Death: Strangulation. Time of death: Inconclusive._ Darcy’s jaw clench and her hands balled into fists as she tried not to fling the laptop across the room. She knew who killed Ilya Zolnerowich. Ilya’s body was found floating in the river. His face was almost unrecognizable.

Darcy was seeing red as she saw what Ilya actually looked like. The news of his death was on the far corner of CNN’s webpage. The victim was in his late 50s. He had salt and pepper hair, a square jaw, and a scowl. He looked almost like… Darcy shook her head. That wasn’t him.

Darcy went inside the NYPD’s database using a SHIELD laptop. She found the evidence photos. She looked at the victim’s hand and it was clean of scars.She remembered her Uncle Ivan having scars shaped like an X on the back of his right hand. It wasn’t him. Darcy got angrier. Her father killed an innocent man. Darcy wanted to scream.

She went straight to her father’s hiding place which was now in Queens. Her rage increasing as she got closer. She pried the door open and there was no one there. She sat down on her father’s cot and waited, hoping that she could cool down before her father would waltz in from Heimdall knows where.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deep. She reviewed the investigator’s notes. There were nowhere near to guessing that it was Bucky that killed Ilya. Darcy was sure of that. Darcy’s heart dropped to her stomach as she read about Ilya’s background. He was an immigrant from Ukraine back when the USSR fell. He built himself a life here in America with a loving wife and a daughter.

He got to live the dream her father wanted. Maybe that was why Bucky killed him. Darcy shook off the thought. Her father couldn’t have known. He was sloppy when he killed Ilya. His wallet and personal items were still on him when he drowned, making him a tad bit easier to identify.

Ilya looked like her Uncle Ivan. _Uncle Ivan._ Darcy thought. She felt bile rising in her throat. She guessed that her father was triggered as he saw Ilya. Darcy shuddered. What would happen if her father found someone who looked like his former targets? What would happen if _she_ found someone who looked like her former targets or her former handlers? Is it really advisable to leave the both of them alone?

In the end, her father killed an innocent man. That’s crossing the line.

She waited until she saw the sun setting for her father to come home.

Darcy heard the door creak open and she sat ramrod straight and her hands balled into fists.

She heard her father’s familiar mumbling and she fixed her gaze at him.

“Ilya Zolnerowich was found dead floating on the Hudson River last Wednesday April 16 2015. Half of his body was decomposing making him hard to identify. Cause of death was primarily suicide but after further investigation it was discovered that he was choked to death.” Darcy reported. Bucky froze. He stood, staring at the floor as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“Now, I would never accuse my dear father of mine for murder but” Darcy slammed the victim’s driver’s license photo on the mattress. Darcy thought she should’ve sat on the table to make it more dramatic.

/*You killed him.*/ Darcy spoke in Russian. Her voice was dark. She sent her father a scathing look.

/*You killed an innocent man.*/ Her father was still silent. Darcy reached for the Swiss Army knife in her pocket. She knew that he wouldn’t hurt her. Still, they were his episodes. It broke Darcy’s heart the first time he tried to kill her. Both of his hands were strangling her, the one of metal and the one of flesh. His pupils were like dots and his eyes were glassy as Darcy gasped for breath. She was almost about to pass out until she stabbed a pen in his human hand. She had to wear scarves for more than two weeks to cover the bruises.

Darcy swallowed. Bucky looked at her, his face cold and detached. Darcy hoped he wasn’t about to have another violent episode. It’s been three months since he last had one. Her father was improving. She could see his progress. Although she never did expect her father to be fully healed. How could he ever be truly fixed? He’s just another broken toy just like her. All they were doing was to just try their best at sewing up the tears.

Bucky took a step towards her and Darcy saw his pupils dilating. His muscles were taut and his jaw was clenched. Darcy steeled herself as she watch her father try to fight back his relapse.

/*It’s alright, papa.*/ she cooed. Her grip didn’t soften on the knife though. If looks could kill Darcy would’ve been dead by now. A shiver went down her spine. What if Bucky forgot that she was his daughter? There were days that he did. Darcy’s heart beat a mile a minute as she waited in tense silence for his father to move.

Bucky looked at Darcy’s neck, and her hand went straight up her throat. Bucky’s eyes widened as he remembered. Darcy could sense the fact that he realized he almost choked his own daughter to death.

Darcy was ready to act. Her mind racing different scenarios and how she will respond. If her father would lunge at her, she would roll out of the mattress and assume a fighting stance. If he’ll point a gun at her, she’ll need to move quickly. Again she’ll roll out of the way and throw the knife at the juncture of his left arm. The knife would pierce the tender skin of where flesh meets metal.

Darcy ran the multiple scenarios in her head but all of it were for naught when her father looked away in shame.

/*I thought he was Ivan.*/ he muttered, his accent thick and almost indiscernible. Darcy let go of her grip on her knife. She knitted her brows and swallowed the lump in her throat.

/*You don’t need to worry about seeing Ivan. He’s dead.*/ she said. His eyes darted to her and it was met with a hard stare.

/*What makes you sure?*/ Darcy narrowed her eyes. She looked at him, hoping he could read her as well as he used to.

/*I’m sure.*/ she said slowly. Darcy could still hear the gunshots. She could feel the warm, freshly spilt blood soaking her skin. Darcy closed her eyes, trying to reign her thoughts in order.

“In a few months there won’t be any more leads and the case would grow cold.” She told him.  She sighed and went to the doorway. She stopped in her tracks and spun on her heel.

“If you _ever_ consider the thought of killing someone. Tell me first.” She hissed.

“You are not my handler.” Bucky spat. Darcy could feel her patience snap.

“Dad. You can’t do everything you want!” She snapped. “There’s a thing called consequences. You can’t blame HYDRA anymore. HYDRA is dead. At least, for now.” She said grimly. She waited until Bucky nodded in response. She prayed to Frigga that he would understand.

She pursed her lips and blew out a breath, making it whistle. She closed her eyes and counted to ten.

“If you find someone from the past, HYDRA, Red Room, KGB, I don’t give a fuck what. Hell, they could be from the Howling Commandos I don’t care.” Her father’s eyes widened at the mention of his old team.

“Tell me first, so I can verify. If you keep me in the dark for even just one secret, I will not only tell Steve where you are. I’ll tell Maria Hill, now director of the ‘newly reformed’ SHIELD.” She said with matching air quotes.

“And if they really are who we fear they are?” Bucky asked.  Darcy thought for a while. Then a menacing smirk formed in her lips. She fixed her father a cold gaze. At that moment, she was reminded that she too was capable of despicable things. Her father was a murderer and she remembered that she was one too.

“Then we’ll kill them together.”

* * *

 

Darcy walked up to Steve’s apartment. The door was already opened when she saw him sulking. His head was buried under files of what Darcy guessed was a compilation of all of Agent Carter’s work. Darcy leaned on the door frame, crossed her arms, and watched him. Steve didn’t notice her, he seemed up in the clouds, as he reminisced. Darcy bit the inside of her cheek. He deserved Peggy. Darcy was so aware of that.

Darcy’s heart felt heavy in her chest. She practically agreed to commit murder with her father just moments ago. Does Steve really deserve her? Does he deserve an assassin? A spy? A liar? He says he loves her, but how can he when all he knows is just the surface of who she is, who she wants to be. Darcy tightened her grip on her elbows, her nails digging into the skin. She should’ve said no when he asked her out. She should’ve never taken the leap. She’s already falling and she knows, she knows, that no one would catch her.

Darcy almost turned away when he heard Steve’s quiet sobbing. Her heart dropped to her stomach. She almost got herself whiplash as she turned her head back to look at him. She walked towards him, but she stopped herself. Should she? What comfort could she give him when she knows she’ll hurt him in the long run? A part of Darcy snapped. She realized, it’s not about her anymore. Steve’s hurting and she knew that all she could give was her love. She knows for sure that that was true.

She walked towards him with a new found resolve. She loves Steve and by God she will let him know she loves him in whatever time she has left.

“Steve? Steve.” She called out to him. Steve looked up at her, his eyes red and cheeks puffy.

“Darcy I’m sorry. I”

“Hey.” She spoke softly. She tossed the papers on Steve’s lap on the ground. Steve looked at the disarray files on the floor.

“Steve? Are you alright?” she asked. Steve turned her gaze back up to her. She looked into his eyes and saw all this pain. She knows she could alleviate some of it. His depression was evident. Darcy expected it really.

Steve shook his head no and Darcy hugged him.  Steve held her close and a little bit too tight. Darcy climbed on his lap and wrapped her limbs around him. If it was possible for them to fuse together they would’ve.

Darcy caressed the back of Steve’s head. She could feel his breath on her neck. She hummed her mother’s lullaby as she held him. Darcy started swaying slowly as Steve cries turned to soft whimpers.

“Steve.” She called out, her voice barely a whisper.

Her skin vibrated as Steve’s response came out muffled.

“I want you to know that if ever you are caught in a web of lies.” She started to say. She tried to keep her voice from breaking. She pulled away to look at Steve. She wiped the tears that ran down his cheeks.

“Rely on the single and absolute truth that I love you.” She said with every ounce of conviction she could muster. She closed her eyes and kissed his forehead. She cupped his jaw on both of her hands. Steve’s grip on her loosened as he sighed.

_We_ _’_ _re all just broken toys._ Darcy thought to herself.

Steve laid his head on her shoulder and hugged her again. Darcy sighed and rested her chin on his crown. 

“Oh Stevie.” she murmured. When Steve calmed down, they were both lying on the couch. Steve’s head rested on Darcy’s chest.

“There’s an art gallery not far from here. Tonight is its opening.” Steve said. He raised his head to look up at her.

 Darcy smiled at him. “Do you want to go?” Steve smiled back at her.

“Well I wanna go with you.” Darcy kissed his forehead.

“Black tie? ‘Cause I have like two dresses total.” Darcy asked. Steve chuckled.

“No. Wear anything you want.” Steve started to get up. Darcy watched as he tried to rearrange the askew papers on the floor. He arranged it meticulously and placed it in the box. Darcy swallowed her jealousy. She shouldn’t be jealous, right?

“I’m going to make my signature hot chocolate.” She said as she sat up.

“Signature hot chocolate?” Steve asked. Darcy hummed and nodded as she went to the kitchenette.

“It has a secret ingredient.” She said.

“Hmmm… I want hot chocolate.” Steve responded. Darcy started getting cocoa powder and opened Steve’s untouched liquor cabinet.

“The secret ingredient is vodka.” Darcy deadpanned. Steve laughed.

“Really?” Darcy nodded in affirmation.

“I was a little bit of an alcoholic once upon a time.” She admitted. She pursed her lips as she remembered her youthful days. A part of her missed it, getting drunk with friends, sleeping in one room apartments in sketchy neighborhoods, dancing, oh the dancing.

“Should I be concerned?” Darcy snapped out of her reverie. She shook her head no.

“I have a high tolerance for alcohol.” Darcy shrugged her shoulders as she started to boil water.

“Me too.” Steve said nonchalantly. Darcy giggled.

“It’s so unfair.” Darcy pointed out. She missed being drunk. It was fun. Then again, she had to be extremely careful. There was one time she got so hammered she spoke only in Russian for the whole night.

The cocoa finally dissolved in the water and Darcy got mugs for them both.

“I haven’t seen you dance before.” Steve blurted out. Darcy looked up at him and he started to blush.

“I don’t dance in public. It has always been an intimate hobby for me.” Darcy always refused whenever her old friends wanted her to join them in a dancing competition. Darcy would give out lame excuses that would never make them satisfied.

Darcy poured the alcoholic beverage in their mugs. She gave one to Steve and raised her mug in the air.

“Cheers.” Said Darcy. She clanked her mug with Steve’s and downed the chocolate drink.

She sighed and cradled the still warm mug in her hands. She felt the alcohol go down her throat to her stomach. She felt a light buzz but after a few moments, it was gone.

 “So when’s the art show?” She asked as she downed the last of her drink.

Steve looked at his watch and his eyebrows went up.

“Uhh...fifteen minutes from now.” Darcy shot Steve a look before she laughed out loud and slapped the counter top.

“You've got to be kidding me?” she said as both of them walked towards the doorway hurriedly.

“Sorry. You don’t need to change I think.” Steve remarked.  Darcy looked down at her ink stained cat sweater and jeans.

Darcy snorted. “Yeah I’m going on a date with Captain America looking like a broke ass college student. Which I am by the way.” Darcy was almost at the door when Steve grabbed her by the elbow and spun her around. She bumped into his chest and he kissed her softly.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered. Darcy closed her eyes and smiled.

“I know. Just wait until the media breaks down what’s left of my self-esteem.” She joked. Steve clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth and held her tighter.

“I love you.” He said.

“Now we have twelve minutes to change.” Darcy said. She stood on her tiptoes and pecked Steve on the cheek and went out to change.

Darcy appeared wearing a long, red, sleeveless blouse that went past her mid-thigh with black leggings. The upper half of her hair was braided and twisted into a rose in the back of her head and the lower half of her brown tresses flowed down her back.

She applied minimal make up, just winged eyeliner and blood red lipstick. She wore black ankle length boots. She applied special make up to cover most of her scars and especially her tattoo.

The Red Room, for all the wrong it did to her, had some benefits. They managed to develop a form of concealer that’s waterproof and smudge proof. It takes a special formula for it to wipe off. Darcy has been using it as little as possible, so she wears a lot of sweaters and cardigans even though the weather isn’t necessarily compatible with it.

Someday, when everybody knows and Steve would still love her after, she’ll stop wearing the makeup. Since, it is very damaging for the skin whenever it is used frequently and in large amounts.

She met Steve at his apartment. He was sitting at the foot of his bed and stared at his opened closet.

“I have a lot of grandfather clothes.” He muttered to himself. He looked at Darcy and his jaw dropped. Darcy blushed as he took in her appearance. She wasn’t wearing anything special but Steve looked at her as if Aphrodite materialized in front of him.

“Maybe we could fix that.” Darcy said, trying to fill the silence in the room. She went to look at his closet and she could feel Steve’s gaze on her back. It made her giddier than usual. Butterflies formed in her stomach as she became nervous. Of what? Darcy didn’t know.

She picked out a white dress shirt, a black vest and slacks, and a red tie. She threw the ensemble on the bed.

“Here put this on.” She ordered him. Steve undressed in front of her. He did it a little too slow and sensual and Darcy noticed.

“Steve we have five minutes.” She reminded. Steve looked at her dead in the eye and hurriedly undid the buckle of his pants. A smirk formed on his lips as Darcy’s eyes widened. Her mouth became dry and her eyes narrowed darkly.

_So we_ _’_ _re going to play this game._ She thought.

Steve pushed down his pants, Darcy’s eyes followed his hand as it trailed slowly down his thighs. Darcy kept her face steady. She looked at him bemusedly, trying to put up a poker face.

He put on his black slacks. He buttoned his dress shirt and put on the vest.

Darcy walked up to him and grabbed the ends of his shirt and tucked them in his pants. She made the extra effort to make sure her fingers would graze his thighs. She looked up at him, one eyebrow raised in question. He seemed amused at the slightest. Darcy grabbed his tie and looped it around his neck. She could feel the hair on his skin rise. She tied his tie.

She took a step back and looked at Steve. She smiled at him softly, then he smiled goofily. The tension of the room wavered.

Steve went to look at his reflection. He stood in front of the long mirror attached on the door of his closet. Darcy stood behind him.

“Wait.” She called out. She turned Steve over and started to roll his sleeves up. When she was satisfied, Steve looked back on the mirror. Darcy leaned her head on Steve’s arm. She held his hand and he laced them together.

“Now you look like a hot grandpa.” She teased. Darcy took a moment to look at both of them.

“I love you.” Darcy said to him. Steve looked at her.

“When will you ever stop telling me you love me?” he asked. Darcy raised her head to look at him. Her chin was barely touching his shoulder.

“When I don’t.” Steve’s eyes widened at the statement. Darcy said it with such gravity that made Steve alarmed. It was true. She’ll stop saying it when she’ll stop loving him, but that won’t happen anytime soon.

Steve pulled her in for a hug. “Now we are late.” She said to his chest.

“Fashionably late.” He added. Darcy couldn’t help but laugh.

 

* * *

 

Darcy drank from a flute of champagne. She watched as Steve mingled with the artist and the curator. No one noticed he was Captain America, yet. He had a little beard that he started to grow, a few days ago. Still, he sticks out like a sore thumb.

Darcy looked at only one painting that night and it was a large painting of a ballerina. Her full body captured in oils on canvas. The girl was looking down. Both of her arms outstretched. Her left leg was raised into the air, perpendicular to her waist. Her right foot was on pointe.

Darcy looked at the figure. She looked graceful. Her face was relaxed and serene. Darcy guessed from the ballerina’s costume that she was playing the white swan.  Darcy wondered, is this what she looked like as she danced?

The painter depicted her subject beautifully. Darcy smiled to herself. In the corner of her eye she saw an elderly woman walk up to her.

“You were a dancer, I could tell.” The elderly woman said to her. Darcy eyed her up and down. Darcy guessed she was in her late 70s. The stranger wore a simple white dress which contrasted her dark skin. Her gray hair was braided into knots. She pulled her lips into a warm smile. Darcy replied.

“Yes. I was.” Darcy replied. She smiled at her and the old lady’s face brightened.

“I knew it.” She said triumphantly.

“I was part of the New York City Ballet Troupe once upon a time.” The lady replied proudly. Although there was a hint of nostalgia in her voice.

“How about you, child? Where do you dance?” Darcy was shocked at the question.

“Oh. I retired years ago. Now I just dance in front of a mirror in my bedroom.” The lady gasped at Darcy’s reply. Darcy tried not to take offense.

“But dear you’re so young.” She exclaimed. Darcy bit back a frown.

“Things change.” She murmured. Suddenly she felt Steve’s arms around her waist as he pulled her close. He kissed the top of her head and swayed their bodies a little. Darcy blushed at the display of attention. She held Steve’s hands on her belly and squeezed them, reminding him where they were. Steve looked to his right and saw her.

He blushed and released his grip on her. The woman looked at them fondly.

“Is this your husband dear? No wonder you retired at a young age. Eager to start the family?” At this the old woman laughed. Darcy felt Steve stiffen beside her. Her face turned red as a tomato and she tried to control her embarrassment.

“Marriage is a full time job but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop doing what you love.” The lady told the couple.

She raised her left hand and showed the stranger that she wasn’t married.

“Oh, he’s not my husband.”  She said in a rush. The lady’s eyes widened.

“I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed. “I thought- Oh dear. Please forgive me.” The woman started stammering. Then an old man, Darcy guessed was her husband, approached the three of them. He was wearing a button down shirt and light brown slacks. Something Steve would totally wear if it weren’t for her.

“Kara. We need to go. The kids are dropping off the pups.” He said in a joyful tone. The woman, now named Kara, looked at her husband with glee.

“Of course darling. I’m so sorry for earlier.” She said. Her husband eyed her questioningly.

“It’s alright ma’am.” Steve said. Darcy grabbed his hand and he laced them together. Kara looked briefly at their hands and she smiled knowingly.

Kara wrapped her arm around her husband’s. She leaned over and rested her other hand on Darcy’s shoulder.

“Never stop dancing, my dear.” Darcy raised her left hand to pat Kara’s.

“I will. Thank you.” She said. Then the elderly pair walked away. Darcy leaned on Steve’s side and she watched him look at the painting she was staring up at earlier.

“She’s beautiful.” He murmured. Darcy hummed in delight.

“Yes she is.” Darcy said.

Steve looked down at her and gave her a smile that made Darcy’s heart flutter.

“But I bet my shield that you look even more beautiful when you dance.” Darcy closed her eyes. It was so tempting to just stand on her tiptoes and kiss him.

“You haven’t seen me dance yet.” She teased. They made a silent agreement to finally leave the art gallery after almost two hours of socializing and viewing. Although they did not leave without Steve and Darcy giving kudos to the painter. They left hand in hand and walked through the almost empty streets of New York.

They walked silently for a few minutes. She felt calmer than before. She looked at Steve as he focused on the road ahead. His features were set and serious, but he looked calm and relaxed. Darcy sighed and leaned on his arm.

Just then she bumped shoulders with a man who was talking to someone on the phone. Darcy looked up at him and her jaw went slack. He looked older than he used to but Darcy remembers him.

The name Jamal was on the tip of her tongue. He looked shocked too. His bushy eyebrows almost reaching his hairline.

“Jamie?” he said. Darcy was the very definition of confusion. Although he looked familiar, she didn’t know who he was. In the back of her mind the name Jamal was flashing, but Darcy’s thoughts started to ramble and mix together.

Darcy’s brows furrowed. She should remember but she couldn’t. Tears started to fill her eyes and she doesn’t know why. She doesn’t know who he was. It was frustrating.

“What did you just call me?” she said. She hoped Steve wouldn’t get angry at him. She held his arm back. She dared not to look at him, she focused on the man instead. His African accent was eerily familiar.

“Nothing. I’m sorry. I thought you were someone I knew.” He said. Darcy nodded and both she and Steve watched him walk away.

“That was weird.” Steve muttered. Darcy still stared at him. A wave of frustration washed over her. Who was he?

Darcy looked down on the ground and tried to reign her tears. She rubbed her temples, trying to remember. Why couldn’t she remember? Darcy tried to listen in on their conversation.

“Marcus. I’m telling you, I bumped into someone who looked just exactly like Jamie. Yeah. I know she disappeared and the girl I just saw had brown hair not blonde and she looks like she was half her age.” The man started stammering.

Darcy felt like she was punched in the gut as the man said one of her aliases. The identity that she remembers the least. Darcy’s blood turned to ice and she stood still, her muscles frozen in place.

 “What do you mean you don’t remember Jamie? It’s Jamie. Jamie Barnes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry not sorry for the late update. I have a life (lol) hahahhaa. Seriously though midterms are close and i think things are gonna be hectic (HELL YEAH) ok ok... SO have some mentally unstable babies for FREE!! I know they need a hug but u know what they need the most? MORE ANGST HAHAHAHHAHA 
> 
> I love my beta and she is the best. Enjoy the stories and guys comment, even though its just u typing AAAAAAAA like 10 times. That's aight. Send me prompts at msdianaprince.tumblr.com love you guys.


	10. Remembering and Regretting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you forget who you are? Who we are? We are dangerous. Don't you get it? We have the touch of death. Everyone we meet will have a target on their head."
> 
> "I'm sorry that you were born into this life."

Darya was running. Where she was going, she wasn't sure. Her papa said that she should run and she ran. She left them behind. They could take care of themselves. They've always had. She thought to reassure herself. She could still hear the gunshots, the commands. She stopped in her tracks. 

"Papa!" She turned but his metal hand grabbed her by the collar and pushed her forward. 

/*I'm here, Darya. I'll always be right behind you.*/ he said and the both of them sprinted away from the guards. Darya's adrenaline causing her to run on par with her father. She still didn't know where they were going but she trusted her father to know. When she couldn't hear their pursuer's footsteps behind them she trailed behind, her exhaustion creeping up to her.

/*Where to? Papa.*/ she asked breathlessly. 

/*Just follow me Darya. Can you still climb?*/ he said as he looked up at the buildings in the alley. He spotted a pole that ran along the building and he grasped it and tugged. It didn't give. Both of them stopped running and Dary followed her father's gaze. She spotted the Fire exit that was on the building and she nodded when she met her father's eyes. 

Darya began to rub her cold hands together and started to scale the pipe to lower the fire exit. She was almost halfway there when they suddenly heard shouting. She wanted to look at the source of the noise but her father told her to focus. She was almost close to the railing when she heard gunshots. She looked down to her father and she saw him draw a gun out.

/*Just keep climbing, Darya. You're almost there.*/ With steely determination Darya climbed and she reached out her hand to grab the railing and it was only inches apart when she heard her father bolt past her. She didn't let it get to her. She had to move move move! 

She grabbed the railing and jumped from the pole. She leaped over it and tried to get in the apartment window. She peered inside and there was no one there.  She turned to look at the alley they ran from but the window shattered from a fired bullet. She sprang to her feet and ran up, taking two steps at a time. She ran up the fire escape, hoping she would reach to the roof

She could still hear their footsteps, and the bullets ricocheting off the steel. There was no use at being silent, they already found her, she just needed to run. Then she could find her father. She reached the roof and her face was slapped with the cold biting wind. She grabbed her hair and made it into a makeshift bun, the one her mother taught, and started to run, again. She jumped from roof to roof, grateful for the tightly placed buildings of Hell's Kitchen.  She dared not to look back. She ran in a zigzag pattern until she almost fell. There were twenty feet between her and the next building. She can't jump that far. She looked down and saw the building's smooth facade. She can't climb down either. She whirled around to find exit points. A fifteen feet back she could see them, clad in black, and guns pointed at her. She does not allow herself to panic, but she could creep it in her throat, almost choking her.

"Darya!" she heard her father shout. She looked at the building in front of her and saw him on the roof. She didn't know how he got there but the relief flowed in her. 

"Papa!" she shouted. She stood precariously on the ledge. 

/*Jump Darya! You have no other choice!*/

/*I can't make it Papa. I can't!*/

/* Yes,you can! I'll catch you.*/ Darya paused and swallowed the lump in her throat. She looked down on the alley between her and her father. The fall would kill her, that was obvious. She looked back and the men in black weren't shooting at her but they were advancing closely. She looked back again at her father. 

/*Darya, you have to jump. I'll catch you. Trust me.*/ He reached out his arms towards her and he too was standing on the ledge. Darya closed her eyes and muttered a silent prayer to whoever was listening. She ran back a few paces and she started to run as fast as she could. She heard someone shout and bullets started raining, not before she reached the ledge and jumped. She stretched out her arms towards her father. He got closer and closer and she could actually think that she could make it. Her hand was just inches from her father's and all he could do was to lean closer. She brushed her fingers with his before a bullet clipped his shoulder and he fell back. Darya screamed as she fell to her death. 

"Darcy! Darcy! Wake up!" Darcy shot from her bed, screaming. Her arms reached out, clawing at her sheets. Her chest was heaving and her eyes were wild. 

"Darcy." Darcy jumped and looked at Steve, breathing in short breaths. Steve soothed her until she her breathing evened and she cried on his chest. Steve didn't know what to do. Steve didn't know what caused the nightmare or why she was stammering in Russian. Steve just held her, and prayed that when times he'll finally know.

Darcy woke up to an empty side of the bed. She rolled and wrapped herself with the blanket. She lied her head on his pillow and breathed in deep. She closed her eyes and thought. It was unfortunate for her to have a nightmare when Steve was with her. What could he have heard? She talks in her sleep, she knows that. Sometimes it’s just muttered gibberish, other times it’s full on dialogue from a memory she once knew. Could Steve heard it all? She tried to remember her nightmare. She didn’t speak much. She just screamed. Darcy tightened her fist as she remembered her fall.

He caught you. Remember Darya, Papa caught you.

Darcy sat up only to realize that she was wearing nothing under the sheets. She smiled at the memory of last night. She grabbed the blankets close to her and sighed. She was in Steve’s room. She almost always sleeps at Steve’s now. She even has her own drawer now. That is one step of the relationship Darcy was proud of.

You know this is going to end.

“Stop it Darcy. Just stop.” She muttered to herself. She stood and stretched. She scanned the little to do list she always had in her head.

“Jane is with Bruce as they try to investigate on the effects of the Einstein-Rosen Bridge on a human. They’re not gonna test it on humans, not yet though. I’ll probably be the guinea pig, but I’m not exactly human now, aren’t I?” Darcy laughed at herself.

She picked out an outfit on her drawer and made to go to the shower. Darcy recounted whatever else is on her agenda and thought she might have free time later at three o’clock, bonus if Thor comes back from his trip to Norway soon.

Why was Thor in Norway? Funny story really, once the people noticed that there was some proof to their old religion, they wanted to seek Thor and demand answers. So he gladly went, fulfilling his godly duties. Most of the trip though is him being adorable.

She put on her clothes and went down to the lab, knowing that Steve has already started on his jog.

* * *

 

Darcy looked at the wall on her bedroom. She basically tore up anything plastered there before, which wasn’t much really. Just a few oddball posters and a few picture frames. Now it was a web filled with what she could gather from the Red Room.

On the very top was her birth certificate. Darya Rebecca Yekmenev. Born on March 15, 1965. She stuck red tape on it and it trailed downwards until and connecting it was reports on her early development, pictures of her when she was a baby, a toddler, until she was a fully developed child. Darcy swallowed as she began to read what they made her do. There were hospital documents too, filled with her injury reports.

She skipped the part where her parents managed to convince the administrators to let her go on their field assignments. It was just a folder marked with a black X on the cover. She didn’t open it, she isn’t ready yet.

She walked towards the far left of the wall, after the main red line that represented her timeline until she came across a gaping space. This was her adolescent years, right after she managed to escape. Her memory was still blotchy and she wanted to punch the wall out of frustration. She hated this. She hated the Red Room, what they did to her. They even took her memories, as if it was any reprieve. Now here she is, living in lies with no memory of the truth.

There was a file though, she knew of it. Right when she was captured, there was a hard copy and a soft copy. The soft copy, she found on SHIELD’s data dump. The moment she knew about it, she quickly went on her laptop and searched for her, using every alias she knows. There was no use downloading it, since there were multiple copies. So Darcy, hacked into JARVIS and placed a lock on the documents, the original ones. She buried it deep into JARVIS’ database, only with her permission. She then sent out a virus that would track all the copies of her files and then automatically delete them once opened. It was smart thinking on her part and she almost did the same for her father but she hesitated, if his files suddenly went off the grid then it would be plausible that they would pinpoint it to her. So her father’s files were saved;. fFor the whole world to see, to ridicule.

Darcy sighed and opened the manila folder filled with her capture report.

Darya was located with the Winter Soldier hiding in Brooklyn, New York. We were met with much aggression from both assets. They were detained when the Winter Soldier was shot at least five times in his torso. Darya surrendered herself in exchange treatment for the asset. Darya had no knowledge that we did not use real bullets, the asset was only bruised but she still believed the ruse to save the asset.  **Darya’s weakness is the asset.**

They were sedated and detained in Hydra base #312. Transport back to Russia was arranged a day later. A team was sent to find out where Darya had been hiding. It seems that Darya was hiding under the alias, Jamie Barnes.

Darcy shut the folder and flung it against the wall. A hard disk fell out and Darcy picked it up. There written,  **Teaching Mix #3 :)** Darcy looked at the disk in wonder. It was in her handwriting, she knew that. Attached to it was an evidence tag. Recovered in her apartment in Brooklyn, [insert address and building number]. Darcy heart jumped as she read the address, the building must still be there. Darcy stood and grabbed the CD in her hands and placed it in her purse. She glanced at the clock.

“Thor must be coming home soon.” She muttered to herself, hoping Thor might convince Jane of having to break for the day.

* * *

 

She walked out of her room grabbing her purse, filled with the cd and the scrap of paper, her iPod, and her taser. She got in the lab and saw Jane scribbling her eyes fixed on her monitors.

“Hey Jane. How’s the research?” she asked, plopping down on one of the chairs next to her.

“It’s getting bigger than I already thought.” Jane tore her eyes from the screen and focused on her best friend. Darcy grabbed the still hot pop tart on the plate she set out for Jane a couple of minutes ago.

“I have some data I want you to transcribe at your desk.” Jane said.

“Yay.” Darcy said dryly.

“Anyway, it’s much bigger than I thought. We were so focused on opening the Einstein-Rosen Bridge that we forgot that we plan to use it as a form of transportation.” Jane laughed.

“Bruce and I are trying to figure out a way to simulate the same reactions in the Einstein-Rosen Bridge and try to test it on an organic life form. It’s more of Bruce’s expertise but I could use the data from the Bifrost to know what kinds of reactions the bridge might cause.”

“Wow.” Darcy said.

“I know right?” Jane said with enthusiasm.

“This project could extend to other fields of science. Darcy, this is so much bigger than we are.”

“Hello, Jane. You are dating a god! A lot of things are bigger than us puny humans.”

“And you’re dating Captain America. Now hush. Speaking of Thor, when is he arriving, cause I miss him.”

“I do hope he won’t get the ‘ _ your ancestors worshipped me for years _ ’ go over his head.”

“Wonder if he could reinstate a religion?” Darcy asked.

“Oh please he already has a legion of worshippers. Their called fangirls.” Jane replied.

Darcy laughed. “Now get on with your transcribing. So that when Thor arrives we could take a break.”

Darcy gasped aloud. “Well, well. I see some character development in you.” She said feigning shock.

"I learned from the best." Darcy tried not to roll her eyes.

* * *

 

Darcy walked the streets of Brooklyn, clasping the piece of paper tightly in one hand. She shoved any distracting thought out of her head. She looked at the piece of paper again and saw that she was already standing near the entrance of her supposed building. She looked up the worn facade and felt... nothing. There was no trigger, no memory, no nothing. 

She looked up and down the building. She wondered if she could go in and go to her old room. (If it even is the same building as it was before). She circled the building and hopes that there was a fire exit. There wasn't. Darcy didn't give up though. She walked around the block and found an abandoned dance studio on the second floor above a shawarma place. She stepped inside and the whirlwind of memories started to overwhelm her. Darcy gasped and clutched her heart. She remembers most of it now. She can grasp the memories in her fingers. Darcy laughed inside the abandoned studio, tears flowing from her eyes. She looked like a mad woman. A deliriously mad woman.

* * *

 

Darcy walked inside the empty gym. The others were busy with their own agenda, especially Jane since Thor arrived a few hours ago. She looked around the room until she sat herself down in front of the mirrored wall. She dressed herself up like a dancer again. It wouldn't feel right if she didn't. She put on her ballet shoes, not before breaking them in. She opened her bag and pulled out a CD player. She fished out the CD she had earlier, her thumb tracing the lines she made with her hand writing. 

It all made sense now, at least a bit. She placed the CD in the player and stood. She pushed herself into formation and closed her eyes. It felt like her body was moving for her. The first few notes of the song and just like the song, her memories flowed through her. 

_ She was jangling her keys, happy to finally be able to find an apartment. She walked in and found two of her neighbors and a case of beer. "Hey Jammy."Jamal said. "It's Jamie. Say it right or don't say it at all." She said as she plopped down on the second-hand sofa, grabbed a bottle of beer, and watched Star Wars.  _

Darcy's face twisted as she remembered her two friends, Jamal and Marcus. She turns and spreads her arms, hoping she would fly. 

The scene shifts and a door opens revealing a blonde woman with sea green eyes. "Hey Clara." she greets. Clara smiles. 

_ "I uhh.. I was just wondering if you could.. If you could teach my daughter how to dance?" she stammers. Then Darcy sees a little girl with olive skin and bushy hair, hide behind  Clara's hip.  _

_ "It's that.... She saw you dance the other day. I'll pay you for each session." Clara asks and Darcy smiles. She lowers herself to her knees and looks at the little girl in the eye.  _

_ "Of course I'll teach you honey." she grins. She stands and steps aside.  _

_ "Come in Clara. Want some coffee?" she asks. Clara blushes and she couldn't help but do the same. _

Then the music dips. The tone going deeper, the melody going darker. Darcy twirls and in the back of her mind she hears gunshots and footsteps mixing with jokes and laughs. Tears trickle down her cheeks. 

_ They were in the living room. The little girl, Rosita, had her head on Jamie's lap and Carla was lying her head on her shoulder. Jamal and Marcus were sitting on the floor, they eyes trained on the television, their hands held tight.  _

_ "She's tuckered herself out." Darcy says stroking the girl’s hair. Carla chuckles beside her and wrapped her arm around Darcy's waist.  _

_ "No, your drills exhausted her. Damn, the stretches you have to do." Darcy laughed. Jamal shushed them both, his hand digging on the bowl of popcorn and his eyes fixed on the screen."  _

Then she remembers the heartache. 

Darcy opens the door to her apartment. She stops in her tracks and drops the bag of groceries she had when  she sees a familiar figure stands in front of her window, his metal arm glinting in the light.

"P _apa." she gasps. He stalks over to her in seconds and grabs her arm._

_ "We need to leave. Now." he barks. He then bends down and picks up her groceries, picking off the canned goods and bottled water . He then grabs a bag lying on the couch and shoves it there.  _

_ "Where's the blank passports?" he asks. Darcy just stares at him.  _

_ "In the floorboards hidden under the red mat in my bedroom." she answers. Her eyes wide and voice small. She was still in shock. This was her father, alive and here. She wanted to hug him or touch him. He doesn't seem real. This situation doesn't seem real. She watches her father collect the passports and already fake IDs she hid in her room. _

_ He stood and  stares at her. "What are you waiting for Darya?! We need to move. It will be minutes before they- "  They were interrupted with a knock on her door. Bucky drops the bag and grabs his gun. Darcy swallows the lump in her throat. She realizes, her father didn't come here alone. Her heart dropped to her stomach. _

_ "Here we go again." she muttered under her breath. She went to her kitchen and grabbed a kitchen knife, her gun was still in her nightstand. She inches towards the door and calls out. _

_ "Who's there?" she asks.  _

_ "Jamie, it's me, Jamal. Marcus just rented Rocky Horror Picture Show and thought you would call Carla and have movie night in our place."  Darcy listened to his muffled voice and blew out a breath. She looks at her father and signals him to keep his gun. He won't. _

_ "I can't Jamal, I'm sorry. I'm gonna sleep in. I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow, there's a new shipment of books that I have to sort through. You know how Maggie hates me being late. " Darcy lied through her teeth. It was believable though, since she's been talking Jamal's ear off complaining about her new boss at the bookstore she was working in.  _

_ "Okay Jammy." he said. Bucky didn't lower his gun until he hears Jamal's retreating footsteps. _

_ "Jammy?" Bucky asks. Darcy opens her mouth to explain but her father cuts her off. _

_ "No time. We need to leave. Pack light." he orders. Darya remains standing, not moving away from the door. She hesitates.  _

_ "Darya. If you don't move then your friends here will die."  Bucky warns. _

_ "I know papa! I know! I just... I don't want to leave them behind. What if they get to them?" she asks him, tears streaking down her face. _

_ "I told you not to make any attachments." her father berates. _

_ "How can I not papa? Do you expect me to become a hermit?" she starts to listen to her father's advice. She walks to her room and starts packing halfheartedly.  _

_ "Did you forget who you are? Who we are? We are dangerous. Don't you get it? We have the touch of death. Everyone we meet will have a target on their head." _

_ "I just want to live." Darcy confesses. She shuts her eyes and lets herself cry for a moment. Suddenly she feels her father's cool metal arms around her shoulders and her tugs her close.  _

_ "I'm sorry that you were born into this life."  Darcy only cried harder.  _

The music ends and she remembers Jamie Barnes. She stands in the mirror and sees her reflection. She looked so young but she felt much older, not because she actually is, but because her heart has never felt this heavy. Her shoulders droop, as if she carries the world on it. She sighs and relaxes. The dance was finished and so was Jamie.

"I didn't see you there Steve." she smiles when she saw his reflection. Steve smiles and walks over to her. 

"I didn't want to interrupt. You were so beautiful." Darcy turns around and Steve slips his arms around her waist. Darcy couldn't help but melt into his strong embrace.

"So that's one thing to check off my bucket list." Steve comments. Darcy laughs and stand on the tip of her toes to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. Steve's hand moves to cup her jaw, deepening her kiss when JARVIS' voice booms inside the room.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but Captain Rogers, Director Hill requests you and the other Avengers to assemble at the conference room 3." Steve bit out a curse. He kissed her again, mouthing the words 'I'm sorry'.

Darcy watches Steve's back as he walks away.

"I'm sorry too." Darcy whispers but Steve was too far away to hear it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys this chapter has ben long overdue but i have college and huhuhu second sem starts next week so im gonna be busy. hopefully you're still following this. haha. love you guys u da best


	11. Anxiety Inducing Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy, Jane, and Pepper wait anxiously for the team to go home. The team however, face a new challenge that will shake them to the core.

It was chaos and it still is. Soldiers were falling just like the specks of snow on the field. Steve whips his head around, he sees a streak of blue darting across, leaving dead soldiers in its wake.

“What is that?!” He shouts on the comm.  
“I’m on it.” Says Hawkeye. Steve became preoccupied as a group of mercenaries approaches him.

“We need to get a hold of the are before we can approach the building.” Says Tony.  
“We don’t have much time, they have been alerted of our presence. They’re evacuating as we speak.” Natasha growls. Three yards away from him, she fights, gloves stained with blood.

“Maria!” He shouts as he lands a punch on one of the men.

“I’m here.”

“Send us back up now. We need to get to the building and secure the HYDRA base before they get away.

“Don’t worry about it. Back up is coming. ETA five minutes. You can advance.” Steve whacks his shield against the face of his opponent, causing his helmet to shatter, and he falls to the ground. Steve gathers his breath, the men laying down beneath him. He swipes his head around, looking for his friends, his teammates.

Iron Man is soaring through the skies, his lasers shooting down helicopters and trucks. Thor is hammering away as he strikes lightning across the field, melting snow and singeing the trees. The Hulk smashes his way across the army trailers and trucks disarming them of incoming weapons and back up. Black Widow flies, her limbs kicking and punching. She kills, silently and swiftly, she sees his gaze and nods. She twists the neck of one of them and sprints towards him. He tries to search for Barton but he hears him grunt in pain. He turns around him and sees him surrounded by the same streak of blue as before. He falls to the ground and the streak disappears.

“Hawkeye!” Natasha rushes to his side.  
“I’m fine. I’m fine.” He repeats as Natasha helps him up.  
“What happened?” She asks.  
“We need to move on.” Steve says as he catches up to them.  
“Can you walk?” He asks Clint. He nods his head yes.  
“Team we need to move on. Secure the building and apprehend whoever is in charge. Do not touch any of the tech. They have Loki’s sceptre and I don’t want to find out what weapons they have used. Not yet.” Steve orders.

“That goes for you Stark.” Natasha barks out. Steve hears Tony whine.  
The team advance but Bruce stays behind as he continues to wreck havoc among the enemy troops. The three of them, enter through the doorway and find the warehouse mysteriously empty. A chill runs down Steve’s spine.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Darcy shivers. She doesn’t know why, but she does. She holds two cups of coffee in her hands and she walks briskly to Jane’s office. She stumbles outside the elevator and sees Jane bent over the computer with dark circles under her eyes. She has been on an all week science binge ever since Thor was sent on the mission.

“Jane, this is your fifth cup of coffee today. Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Darcy hands Jane the coffee, she knows that it's decaf but Jane is easily fooled when she’s reached the eight hour mark of working.

“I can’t, Darce. I need to review this data, I have to give a report to NASA-

“Next year.” Darcy interrupts her. “Jane. You just got the grant from NASA last month. They don’t expect to be given a full report when you just started.” Darcy reasons. It’s not like they need the money from the grant, but NASA managed to include the freedom for Jane to access restricted airspace, for research and unlimited access to data from the Space Station. Now, they can get information freely and without having Darcy to hack into the system.

“Jane, you need to rest.” Darcy says as she sat down.  
“But-”  
“What’s the problem Jane?” Darcy asks.  
“I just need to distract myself Darce. I’m so worried!” Jane flails her hands and it sends countless of documents in the air.  
“Jane, Thor is a god.”  
“Even god’s die Darcy. You know what happened to Frigga.” Darcy’s mouth was set in a straight line and she sobered up a little.  
“And they’re recovering Loki’s sceptre. That’s alien tech. It has the power to kill gods. It’s a whole different ball game.” Jane lowers her head on the table and lays it down, tears flowing down her cheeks.  
“Jane.” Darcy stands to embrace her friend.  
“I mean I don’t get why you’re not worried. Steve’s there too.” Darcy froze. Darcy isn’t worried, if she were to be honest to herself. She knows Steve could handle this. Steve and her mother. She believes in them. She knows that they’ll make it out alive.  
“I believe in Steve.” She answers.  
“And I believe in Thor too, but Darce, I’m scared.” She wraps her arms around Darcy. Darcy hugs her back and tears flowed down Darcy eyes. She started to think, what if Steve gets injured, what if Natasha gets injured, or worse brainwashed, again. Darcy shakes as she thinks of Steve being brainwashed, his eyes a different kind of blue that what she used to. She imagines having to fight Steve, screaming at him to remember her.

“Oh Jane.” she starts to sob. Both girls hold each other for a long time, fear looming around the almost empty lab.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Okay team. Spread out. Find the control office and hopefully someone is still there.” Steve orders and they break up. Steve keeps to the ground level as Barton and Natasha runs towards the upper levels. Steve walks inside the musky warehouse, the scent of cleaning chemicals, strong in the air.  
He passes by boxes stacked from floor to ceiling and he tries not to get his curiosity to get to him. He walks around the level and there is no sign of people or Loki’s scepter. He almost passes through an empty hallway. He goes and sees a hidden stairwell leading to a secret room.

He alerts the other of his location. In the corner of his eye, he sees a streak of blue but he guesses that it was just a trick of the light. He sees the iron door and tries to push it open. It doesn’t budge. He pushes again and still, it remains closed. He takes a few step backwards and gets a running start. The full impact of his shoulder against the door made it swing open, wide enough for him to slide through. He walks in and his jaw drops. The room was well kept and clean. A huge desk sits on the far wall. It was styled like the old offices they had in the war. Hanging on the center of the wall was the infamous HYDRA insignia.

Steve steps forward to inspect documents when a flash of blue hits him square on the chest. He fall back a few steps. He feels someone strike his jaw and he spins. He sees a flash of red and the room changes.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha hoists a gun and her fingers are steady against the trigger. She walks cautiously and silently. She can see Clint on the level above her. His bow and arrow ready to take a shot. She remained on the ground floor while Clint scaled to the second. She saw Steve disappear on the corridor earlier and she continues to cover the ground ahead. She steals a glance at Clint. He hasn’t told her what happened. She saw him fight a few moments ago and she can’t admit to herself that he was fighting with the color blue. That’s just too strange. Even for them.

Natasha hears rapid footsteps and she points her gun at the sounds. She hears Clint curse and she turns around. That was her mistake.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jane curls up on Darcy’s side. She’s sound asleep and Darcy is grateful. The Notebook is playing in the background but she is on her phone texting her father. He doesn’t reply and it worries her. She scoops the ice cream in her mouth to soothe her worries as Pepper goes into the room.  
“I’m glad that she’s getting sleep.” She comments. Pepper sits down on the couch with them. Pepper astoundingly manages to look powerful and gorgeous while wearing a loose shirt and sweatpants. She too has given herself a break from business and gives herself some free time for her to worry about her metal suit wearing boyfriend.

“Same here.” Darcy agrees as she passes the ice cream.  
“You worried too?” she asks. Pepper shrugs.  
“Will there be a time when I won’t?” She answers back. Darcy chuckles.  
“That’s true.”  
“Even here in Stark Tower I worry about him. The experiments he makes. I feel like the fire department will get tired of the donations we make for compensation.”  
“It’s money Pepper. They’ll never get tired of money.”  
Pepper hums as she scoops delicious chocolate chip ice cream into her mouth.  
“Where are we in the movie?” Pepper asks.  
“The part where she has a mental breakdown.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Steve spins around and the room changes. The ceiling is gone and the sky is now dark and is glittered with stars. He feels Darcy’s warmth under his hands and the smell of her shampoo fills his senses. They were dancing, just like on their first date. He instantly relaxes under her touch and he nuzzles his face on her neck. Deep in his gut as they twirl around he knows that something is wrong but he doesn’t care. He’s been missing her for days now and she isn’t her cheery self. He doesn’t know why but he tries. He holds her tight until he sees another flash of red. Steve lifts his face up and he doesn’t see Darcy, but Peggy Carter.  
Steve spins around and the room shifts. There’s balloons and streamers everywhere. Music fills the room. He wonders in his confusion. The once empty room is now filled with people clad in army uniform. He hears their jubilant shouts and some pats his back. Congratulating him. Peggy chuckles.  
“Oh Steve, you’re finally dancing.” She smiles up at him. His heart fills with happiness, the kind he thought he’ll never experience again. Yet, like the first vision he knows it isn’t real. His face is etched in confusion as he tries to process what this means.

“Steve, darling. We won. The war is over. You can come home with me.” Steve could feel it deep in his heart that he wanted to just stay in this fantasy, stay with her. Peggy steps away from him and twirls away. Steve steps forward, almost desperately, trying to catch up. She twirls back into his arms and disappears. He is neither in the rooftop or in the past. He’s in the room, feeling more conflicted than he ever was.

\-------------------------------

Natasha searches for Clint. She hears him groan and shout.  
“Barton!” She yells. She spins, her gun aimed at everything that moves.  
She hears him scream again and its ringing in her ears.  
“Tasha! Tasha!” She runs towards the screams. Her blood boiling in her veins as she gets closer. The screams bounce against the walls and she’s about to scream herself but she needs to find Clint. She has to save him.

His screams get more clear and crisp. She gets closer and she could her someone beating him to death. She could almost hear fists contacting skin and bones breaking. She’s in a frenzy now. Desperate to find him. She finds herself in a long corridor and Clint is at the end. She runs but it seems as if the hallway gets longer the farther she gets. Still, she perseveres until she hears someone else scream. Someone she thought she has long forgotten but his screams resonates to her bones. She knows its him. He screams her name. The name she never uses anymore.

“Natalia! Natalia!” Tears well up in her eyes as she hears the familiar buzz of the machine that has destroyed her mind million of times. She turns and there, as if by magic, another hallway appears behind her, directly away from Barton’s scream.

“Talia!” He screams and she runs towards him, forgetting Clint in the progress. Old forgotten instincts come in and she readies herself to fight at least ten guards. They always needed ten guards to hold him down.

She runs towards him, shouting in Russian. She digs her heels on the ground, however, as Clint’s screams mixes with James. She turns. Both of them are at both ends of the line and she can only save one. She sinks to her knees, refusing to make a choice. She clutches the sides of her head and screams too. The hallway is filled with the cacophony of their screaming. Natasha is sobbing now. It felt like hours when she hears a child scream. A little girl. She screams Natasha’s name, a name she thought never existed.

“Mama!” Natasha shot straight up, her eyes bugging out of her head.

“Darya!” She shouts back. She runs towards James, thinking she is with her father but another hallway appears on her right. Now she hears the three of them screaming but it wasn’t that much of a choice. Natasha runs to her baby girl.

“Darya baby! I’m coming!” She sprints, her gun forgotten on the floor but there is enough anger in her resolve to rival a bazooka.

She runs and runs, never stopping, never slowing down. She felt like she running for forever until someone grabs her from behind.

“No!” She screams. She fights off her opponent. Natasha only hears one scream now.

“Mama please! Don’t let them hurt mama! Mama!” Tears roll down her cheeks.  
“LET ME GO!” She thrashes against the tight hold on her.

“Natasha it’s not real.” She hears Clint’s voice, but she ignores it. She has to save Darya. Nothing matters more than her baby girl. She has to save Darya. She needs to.

“DARYA!” She screams into the disappearing hallway. The screams become faint and Natasha doesn’t like it. She needs to hear Darya. She needs to know that she’s still alive. She wants her baby girl to be alive.  
She sobs as everything comes into focus. She is screaming at a wall and Clint is holding her close. She falls to her knees. She could still hear her screaming but it feels as if its from memory and it chills her to her core.

“My baby girl. I didn’t save my baby girl.” Natasha mutters to herself in Russian over and over again. She stares at the moldy floor as tears drop to the ground. She didn’t save her baby girl, all those years ago, and up to now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun :) I'm sorry for the long wait


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Steve wakes with an empty feeling in his chest. He stares at the far wall and he curses himself. Everything was fine. Everything was perfect. He was happy up until that girl, Wanda, messed with his head. Steve forces himself to hate her. He tries to pin the blame on her but he can’t bring himself to do it. His anger would flare but it dies down as quickly as it grew. The truth felt like a bucket of cold water splashed onto his face. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath. How is he going to tell Darcy? "

Darcy paces in her room, clutching her sweaty palms on the phone. Her father hasn’t contacted her for almost a week and she hasn’t had the chance to visit him either. Darcy swallows her anxiety. She needs to visit him as soon as possible, she decides.

“But the team is about to arrive soon and I don’t think I can slip and disappear as easily.” she talks to herself. Maria just gave the alert hours ago. Jane and Pepper have been waiting for the team up on the roof and she is yet to join them. She was hoping that she could slip right away but then she couldn’t leave. What if something wrong were to happen? What if the team arrives early and Darcy can’t just leave Steve alone, plus, she misses him.

Darcy’s phone rings and she instantly brings it to her ears but it remains ringing. She looks up and the ringing came from her other phone. It was Jane.

“Yeah?” Darcy greets.

“The team’s coming in and I could barely make out the jet they flew in.” Jane answers, not masking her excitement.

“Okay I’ll be there in a few.” Darcy starts to hide her things back in order.

“Darcy.” Jane beckons.

“Yeah?” Darcy answers as she shoves her burner phone back under the mattress.

“Steve called for a medical team on standby. Someone’s injured.” Jane reports.

“I bet twenty dollars that it’s Clint.” She jokes, but there is an unnerving twist in her gut.

“I’m willing to pay twenty dollars just for it to be Clint.” Jane replies and Darcy laughs.

“Thor’s fine. He’s a fucking rock.” Darcy starts to comfort as she makes her way to the elevator. She presses the button for the roof and she ascends.

* * *

Darcy arrives just in time for the jet to land. Jane dashes right to the opening and crashes into Thor’s arms. He catches her and they embrace. Darcy turns away as the PDA ensues. She wheels her head around and looks for her superhero and finds him holding up an injured Clint. Natasha is by his side and Darcy gives her mother the once over. She seemed rattled. In fact, almost everyone was. Darcy wonders why. Steve helps Clint lie on the stretcher. Once he finished, Darcy sees him look up and they lock eyes. There seemed to be a certain look of desperation in his eyes as he took three long strides just to scoop her up from the ground to his arms.

Darcy could feel his exhaustion roll off him in waves. He holds her close and too tight, as if she would vanish right in front of him. He threads his fingers in her hair and buries his face on her neck. Darcy holds him close.

“Steve, baby.” She strokes his back, hoping to soothe him and stop the trembling. She lifts her gaze and she sees a girl clad all in red. She lies on a similar stretcher with Clint. Her vitals are taken, and she is whisked away into the building.

Steve calms down and sets her down gently. She holds on to him and when he lets go she sees all the fresh blood that stains his armor. His eyes widen in concern, as some of the blood transfers to her clothing and Darcy doesn’t notice until he starts bumbling apologies.

“It’s alright Steve.” She rubs on the red stain on her chest and she thinks as how Steve reacts to seeing her, all covered in blood. She clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth and grabs his chin under her fingers. She redirects his gaze.

“Eyes here, you perve.” she smiles and Steve smiles a small timid grin.

“Now come on. Someone is in need of a good bath.” She stands on the tip of her toes and kisses his forehead. She laces their hands together and she walks back inside and Steve follows, like a lost tired puppy.

* * *

Warm water fills the tub and Darcy lets her hand float across the waters. She waits for Steve but after a moment she heads out and finds him sitting on the edge of his bed, deep in thought.

“Hey, the bath’s ready.” She announced. Steve ignores her. Darcy approaches him.

“How about I take this off you hmm?” She kneels on the bed and the mattress dips under her weight. She’s behind him and she starts massaging his taut muscles. She kisses his bare nape and her mouth curls as she tastes his sour sweat.

“Hey.” she coos. “It’s over.” She nuzzles his neck and Steve turns to kiss her cheek. Darcy’s hands roam around the expanse of Steve’s back. His muscles relax under her touch. She finds the zipper and she slides it down. Steve sighs and leans against her as her warm hands spread, shedding his uniform. She slides the top off and gasps as she sees the angry bruises spotting all over his skin.

“It’s alright sweetheart. It’ll fade fast.” Darcy swallows the lump in her throat.

“Does it hurt?” she asks. Her finger flitting across the purple marks. Feather light fingers dance around his bruises and goosebumps rise on his skin. She kisses the bruise nearest to her lips. Touches as soft as butterfly wings, afraid to hurt him.

“I love you.” she whispers against his skin.

“I know.” he replies instantly.

“Good.” He laughs and Darcy hugs him from behind. She untucks Steve’s undershirt and pulls his shirt above his head. She steps out of the bed and stands in front of him.

“I don’t think I need the image of you covered in blood to haunt my nightmares.” he murmurs. Darcy tilts her head in fascination.

“This isn’t my blood.” she offers her hand again. Steve stands and takes it.

“Still.” Darcy leads him back to the bathroom and she hears him unzip his pants behind her.

“I don’t think I could ever live with myself if I let anyone hurt you.” Steve steps into the tub naked and he relaxes into the warm, pine scented water.

“It’s alright Steve. No one’s going to hurt me.” she says, her eyes drifting towards the ribbon of pink that tinted the water as the blood started to wash off. She grabs a wet rag.

“Now lemme take care of you.” she perks up but Steve grabbed her chin to pull her close and kissed her. He swipes his tongue over her bottom lip and she opens her mouth. He kisses her deeper and Darcy leans forward, her towel forgotten on the floor. Steve starts to tug at her blouse and she breaks the kiss off with a laugh.

“I thought you were tired? You just got home from a mission.” she tries to control her blushing cheeks when she sees Steve eye her lips with pure desire. He gives her a sly smile.

“Supersoldier stamina has its perks.” He tugs at the buttons of her blouse and she looks down and see the transferred blood. Steve tries not to look at it and then Darcy understood.

“It sure does.” she agrees as she moves closer and kisses him again. She unbuttons her blouse for him. She sheds her clothing and Steve helps her. It takes a few moments of awkward fumbling as both of them closed their eyes. They try not to focus on the blood staining their clothes and loses themselves in each other’s touch. As the last of her undergarments are thrown across the room Darcy steps into the tub and the water overflows. She giggles.

“Oh my god we’re going to flood the bathroom.” she whispers against his lips. Steve’s hands goes down from her back to cup her ass and pull her closer. The action causes waves to lap and flow over the tub. Darcy squeals in surprise.

“Steve!” she giggles. Her laughter turns into moans as he nips at her throat. Darcy grabs the tub’s ledge behind him as she grinds on his hardening erection.

As Steve kisses his way across her collarbone, he finds a speck of color on her skin and his brows raise.

“What’s this?” he asks, grabbing her elbow to see her arm better.

“What?” she pants. Steve runs his thumb under the patch of skin and on the back of his mind, it looked eerily familiar.

“Is this it? Oh my god is this your tattoo?” He exclaimed with the exuberance of a ten year old child.

Darcy relaxes into the water and peers at her almost fading tattoo, she reminds herself that she needs to have a touch up soon.

“Yeah. Got tired of hiding it. Needs a touch up though.” She bites the inside of her cheek as Steve examines every inch of her tattoo.

“This is so cool.” He remarks, his eyes not leaving her skin.

“You sound like a child.”

“Well, I’d never thought I’ll ever meet a dame with tattoos.” Darcy tries to bite back her frown.

“Why? Don’t like girls with tattoos?” she teases.

“No. Thought they were so out of my league.” He grins and presses a kiss on the painted skin.

“Well, it’s your luck Rogers. I clearly lowered my standards.”

“Yeah, Thank God.” Steve pulls Darcy back into a kiss and for a while they get into it but Darcy knows that Steve was preoccupied. She sighs and leans back.

“Okay. Ask me about it.” she announces.

“What is it? When did you get it? What made you get it? How old were you?” Darcy couldn’t help but smile. Her boyfriend’s giddiness was contagious.

“It’s a widowstar. Way back when I was nineteen years old. Remember the couple that almost adopted me? Yeah, it was for them. And again, I was nineteen. Happy now?” She asks, her nervousness making her heart beat a mile a minute. She knew she was ready for Steve to know, but she didn’t plan for it this way. She wanted to reveal it to him later but she guessed there was no time like the present.

Steve continues to stare at her tattoo and Darcy wonders if he has noticed that it looks like the same star on her father’s metal arm. She waits for Steve to ask, knowing full well that he’s smart enough to make the connection. Steve opens his mouth and Darcy anticipates.

“It’s about to fade though.” Darcy laughed out her nervousness.

“Yeah.” She twists her arm and sees the fading ink of a red star in the center of a black shield with a silver outline. “Probably go to a shop next week. You wanna come?”

“Yes.” Steve blurts out. Darcy laughs at tugs him closer for a kiss. After, she breaks away and starts to step out of the tub. Steve pulls her back in, causing more water to spill out.

“And where are you going?” he asks gripping her wrists.

“I am stepping out to order pizza and put on a Disney movie.”

“But clearly we aren’t finished yet.” He says, his hands dragging hers under the soapy water. Darcy raises her brow.

“You keep getting distracted, at this rate, we won’t get anything done.” She wraps her fingers around his member and Steve’s eyes flutter close.

“Look at me.” Darcy orders and she sees Steve struggle to hold her gaze. Darcy starts to caress and Steve stifled his moan. She raises her other hand and grabs his chin. She smiles and pulls his face closer.

“Good. Now, be a good boy and let me take care of you.” She orders, taking her time to pause in between words. Annunciating every word with one stroke up and down his dick.

“Yes ma’am.” 

* * *

 “You know it has been a lifelong dream of mine to eat pizza naked.” She says as she grabbed another slice. She sprawled all over the couch, her bare naked legs stretched out in the lush velvet couch. She had a napkin draped across her chest because, in her words, she isn’t a savage.

“Uh huh.” Steve acknowledges as he dries off his hair with a towel. Their bath ended an hour ago and it took half that time for the pizza arrive and for Darcy to realize she accidentally ‘forgot to bring any extra clothes, “oops”’. Which leads to him pointing out that she does have clothes in one of drawers. Darcy replies with “Shh, just let me be naked.” Which in turn, Steve relents and raises his arms in surrender. Steve, though, was wearing a pretty modest pair of shorts and nothing else. Darcy booed at him when she saw him fully clothed. “Participate Rogers!” she shouted at him and then she threw him a towel. She relaxed herself on his couch and Steve was itching for a pencil to draw her “like one of your French girls” Darcy would remark. Yet, her plan backfired as she cowered under the pillows and cushions when the doorbell rang and he was the only one decent enough to open the door and grab the pizza.

“As if this is the first time you ate pizza naked.” he accused.

“Well, the dream does include lying on a bear skin rug in front of a fire, inside a log cabin hidden deep in the woods.” She explains through bites of pepperoni.

“That’s so…strangely specific.” He goes back to his room and grabs a shirt from his drawer.

 He emerges back into the living room and throws her his shirt. Darcy frowns at him.

“Don’t want you to get grease all over you. We already took a bath.” He smiles at the memory of the things they’ve done moments before.

“Fine fine. I was offering that you’d lick the grease off me but I guess that’s too kinky.” She says as she puts on his shirt, halfway through she says. “And unhealthy oh my god.” She manages to poke her head out of the collar when she continues “And gross.”

“Yeah yeah, we know you’re gross and kinky.” Steve goes to her and grabs two slices and stacks them on top of each other. He kisses the top of her head and settles in next to her.

“Don’t forget unhealthy.” She says as she cuddles up next to him.

“Of course, sweetheart. So which movie are we watching?”

“Depends. Pinocchio or Princess and the Frog?” Darcy asks. She looks up and watches as Steve makes the decision.

“I’m ready for some jazz filled soundtrack.” Darcy grins and picks up the remote.

“Hell yeah. Princess and the Frog coming up.” Darcy presses play.

Throughout the movie Darcy notices Steve’s glances on her arm. Even though it was covered by his shirt, Darcy knows that he’s thinking about her tattoo. She’s sure he’s made the connection by now but she’s not sure how to answer him. Also, Darcy has been avoiding Jane would call ‘post mission therapy’ where she sits down with Thor and talk about what went down. Darcy doubts she has clearance and Steve wouldn’t openly share secrets, no matter how intimate the relationship. Darcy guessed that the talk must be about the –feelings- section of the mission.

Darcy wraps her arms around Steve’s waist and twists her face to look at him.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asks. ‘It” being the mission.

“Nah. Can we just…not.” Darcy pauses.

“Alright.” She presses her lips against his cheek and continues watching the movie.

* * *

Steve tosses and turns. His legs curl up, dragging the blanket with him. He mumbles in his sleep.

Steve dreams.       

He tries to think, to manipulate his dreams. He fights against his subconscious.

He sees her silhouette. She stands over by the high-rise windows, watching the New York skyline as it turns to orange to pink to deep purple. Steve walks towards her Darcy’s name on his lips. He calls out to her but when she turns its Peggy’s face that he sees. He stumbles back, bumping the furniture. She laughs.

Steve wakes with an empty feeling in his chest. He stares at the far wall and he curses himself. Everything was fine. Everything was perfect. He was happy up until that girl, Wanda, messed with his head. Steve forces himself to hate her. He tries to pin the blame on her but he can’t bring himself to do it. His anger would flare but it dies down as quickly as it grew. The truth felt like a bucket of cold water splashed onto his face. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath. How is he going to tell Darcy?

* * *

Darcy shivers as the cool wind brushes her skin like steel wool against wood. She hates it. She feels the numbness starting to fade and she can’t help but whimper in agony as her senses are revived. Her whole body feels like it was crawling with ants, pins and needles everywhere. She wants to shout but her throat was dry. She never knew waking up was this bad. She never knew that she was going to wake up at all. Honestly, she didn’t want to. Her body seems to be shocked back into life, but she closes her eyes. The cold was too much. The cold.

“Darcy.” he whispers her name. She wakes and she feels her limbs tremble. She feels under her pillow only to find nothing there. She frowns.

He wraps his arms around her and she fights the urge to fight him off. She berates herself for thinking that he’ll harm her. She trusts him. Darcy trusts him.

She continues to tremble.                                  

Steve wraps her with the blanket. He encases her in his long arms and she forces herself to relax in his arms. She laces his hands with hers and they feel so warm, like a cup of hot chocolate on a stormy day.

_This feels right._ She thinks. She melts in his embrace, lulled back to sleep by his steady heartbeat.

* * *

Steve wakes to an empty bed. His hand outstretched and patting the mattress in search for her. She woke up before him. A miracle.

Steve rolls to his side and his nose presses against the mattress. He takes a deep breath and he catches her lingering scent. He hears music playing in the distance. A pan sizzles and a smile tugs at his lips. He rises and heads out. He sees Darcy swaying her hips with the beat, frying bacon and eggs as she waits for the waffle iron to finish cooking. There was already a stack on the plate. His stomach growls and Darcy turns her head towards the sound.

She grins.

“Good morning.” She reaches her hand to the stereo and turns it off.

“Can’t believe you woke up earlier than me.” He sits down and settles on the kitchen table. Darcy hands him the plate of waffles, butter, and maple syrup.

“It’s not as much as ‘woke up’ but more like ‘couldn’t go back to sleep.’” Darcy focuses her attention back on the stove.

“Nightmares?” he asks.

“Nah. The cold was unbearable.” she flips the eggs, causing the pan to sizzle.

“Sorry I hogged the covers last night.” He stood and made his way towards her. He encircles his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head.

“S’alright. I mean you did it on the first date and many times after. Should’ve expected it.” She unwraps his arms as the waffle iron starts beeping.

“Still, I know you hate the cold.” Darcy stretches her mouth to a thin line. Steve wonders as to what that means.

“It’s alright Steve. You just need to learn how to share.” She says as she served herself a plate of breakfast.

She lays out their breakfast on the table and the two of them sit and eat in silence.

“So, what do you have for today?” she asks, her eyes not leaving her bacon.

“Post mission briefing. The usual.”

“Shouldn’t that happen like, yesterday?”

“Well, all of us were pretty shaken up by the mission. Maria gave us a day and a half off.” he explains. Darcy’s face lit up in intrigue.

“That’s generous of her.” Darcy says slowly, taking the time to choose her words carefully. Steve prepares for her to ask about his mission. She should know by now that something happened. The team had no hesitation to ask, _implore_ , Maria to give them a day’s rest. She asked why and they told her. Everyone kept their visions to themselves. Steve was relieved that Bruce and Clint were spared by the mental torture. Clint already had his own fair share of mind manipulation. Steve couldn’t even fathom at how Bruce would handle his own vision. The girl, Wanda Maximoff, seemed to have triggered everyone’s own nightmares and ghosts and brought them in the light of day. Bruce already has enough nightmares to last a lifetime and as the Hulk, it would’ve been easy for things to go out of hand.

Maria was informed and she was generous. She suggested to have everyone go to a SHIELD appointed therapist but almost everyone scoffed. Steve considered it, but he tucked the idea away for later. He just really wanted to go home.

* * *

Darcy notices the far away gaze Steve has. She wonders what happened but she knew better than to ask. She has her own treasure trove of secrets. It would be unfair for her to pry. Darcy’s jaw clenched and she tries to hide her frown by eating her breakfast.

The air between them shifts and it stiffens. It’s stifling, Darcy notices. Her mind races to find a different topic, something light and carefree. She disappoints herself when she realizes nothing has been light recently. With an absent mind, she grabs for the maple syrup but she accidentally spills it on herself.

“God damn it.” she walks to the sink and she feels her shirt sticking to her skin. She wets a rag and tires to wipe it off. Unknowingly, she pouts and she feels the syrup on her chin drip down her neck.

She feels a wall of warmth behind her. She turns to face him and he sees his half lidded eyes shrouded in lust.

“Here, let me help you with that.” She moans as Steve licks the syrup off of her skin. She runs her hands through his hair. She sighs as he lifts her up by her thighs and he hoists her up on the counter. She welcomes his strong hands on her hips and closes her eyes. He lifts her shirt off her and she tosses it to the ground. His mouth finds her breast and she gives in to his distraction.

* * *

They lie down, pressed cozily against each other. Darcy rests her head atop Steve’s chest. She draws patterns on his skin. She smiles as she feels goosebumps rise. His heart beats faster and she thinks if they could have a repeat of earlier lovemaking. Darcy suppresses a giggle. _Lovemaking_ , such a corny thing to say. She flattens her palm on his stomach. She hums in approval as she feels hard muscle. Darcy raises herself on her forearm and looks at Steve’s face. She’s surprised to see him frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. Darcy braces herself. _This is it. Should I make coffee? Is it right to do this naked?_ She wonders. Her panic channels itself into an uncomfortable feeling of awareness. She feels every inch of Steve’s skin that touches hers. She feels his breath making her hair sway, just a little bit. She feels his hand rise and fall with his chest. She sees the indecisiveness in his eyes and his mouth working out an answer.

“Her name was Wanda.” Darcy automatically assumes the worst and she sits up.

“What?” she says a little too loud, an accusation ready at her lips. Steve follows, picking up Darcy’s train of thought.

“I meant, the girl in red. The one on the stretcher. The one we rescued.” Darcy sighs and mentally slaps herself on the face.

“Okay. Yeah, I saw her.” she twists her body to face him better. She hugs her knees to her chest. She grabs his hands in reassurance.

“What about her?” she asks. Steve focuses his gaze on their interlocking fingers.

“Before we saved her, we fought her. Well, Clint fought her. Most of us were… incapacitated, for a lack of a better term. She’s different, Darcy. She has powers. Telekinesis. Never thought it was possible, but, hey, I used to be ninety pounds and now I’m fighting next to a god.”

“Yeah and I used to eat poptarts in a trailer in New Mexico, now I have Steve Rogers as my boyfriend.” Steve smiles at her then, the same smile that got butterflies in her stomach.

He takes her hands and kisses them both. He looks away as if to muster the strength for what he is about to say next.

“You know I never thought this life would’ve been possible.” He says to the TV but Darcy know it was meant for her. Darcy wants to voice her agreement but she remains silent, waiting for him to continue. To her disappointment, Steve drops the topic with a shake of his head.

“Wanda’s powerful but I don’t know the extent of her powers. I bet she doesn’t know too. She was like a witch.” Steve’s hands tremble and she squeezes it tight. He’s never been this scared before. A flare of anger ignites inside of Darcy. What did this Wanda do to Steve? To the team?

“All I saw was red, and then the visions set in.” Darcy jumps at the word. Her anger makes way for her empathy as she too knows how cruel it is to not know what’s real or not.

“Visions?” she asks. He nods his head and Darcy cups the side of his face.

“What did you see?” she whispers. For a second, her heart pauses as if it too was waiting for his reply. Steve goes back to looking at the far wall.

“A lot.” Darcy doesn’t understand why Steve seems so vague. He sounds like the college essays she used to write. The silence stretches like a rubber band and Darcy is afraid to snap.

“Sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve been if I were at the right place at the right time.” Steve breaks the silence.

“That’s one superpower everyone here would kill for.” she comments.

“I still think about them, you know. My team.” Darcy smiles in reassurance, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Of course you do.” She tries to prepare herself for where this conversation was heading. A cold vice grips her heart.

“It’s the little things that kill me. Memories I never thought I could remember. Dinners with friends. A drink shared. Failed pranks and corny jokes. Sometimes I feel like I left them. In truth, I did.” Darcy watches as Steve’s throat bob up and down.

“You remind me so much of Bucky.” A tear slips from Darcy cheek and Steve brushes it off with his thumb. “I saw you the other day. You were eating an apple with a knife. Bucky used to do that whenever we ran out of dish soap. We didn’t have the luxury of affording it. My medicine had to come first. So he flirted with Jenny Jones one floor above us just to lend some. Then he only eats with a plate and a knife saying that I needed the clean utensils more.”  Darcy smiles at his memory of her father. Her mind wanders to her father and oh god, she hasn’t talked to him in days.

“You miss him don’t you?”

“So much.” He looks at her and she had the same look on her face because she _understands_. She misses her father too, but not in the way Steve does. Sometimes she feels like they’re talking about two different people. Yet, the feeling’s the same, she thinks.

Darcy stands and walks to the bedroom to get them both something to cover up. They already feel naked enough.

She throws him his clothes and slowly, they dress. Silence washes over them again. Darcy expected this conversation, this talk. She just got caught off guard. Visions? What did he see? What did _her mother_ see? Then he starts talking about his past, how he misses his old team. Then he starts talking about Bucky and how she resembles him. Does he know? She sits back down, curling her knees under her.

“So…Bucky.”

“It’s alright Darce, we can talk about this later.” Darcy reaches for his arm.

“It’s okay Steve. I understand.” He nods and his head bows. Darcy reaches for his chin and guides his gaze back to hers.

“You’re safe.” she says to him, hoping it gives him comfort. Tears streak Steve’s face and Darcy holds back from hugging him.

“There isn’t a day where I don’t regret him falling off that train.” he whispers.

“Steve” Darcy tries to reason him out of his guilt but he cuts her off.

“I know, he’s been dead for over seventy years but I just can’t help it Darce. It’ll be okay for him to die of old age but he didn’t. I wasn’t quick enough to grab him. He fell and all I could do was watch.”

“And look what they did to him.” he says with so much venom Darcy tried not to wince.

“Steve please don’t.” she says, for her own sake more than his. It was cruel to hear it, especially from him but can she blame him? He doesn’t know. If her father didn’t fall off that train would she even be alive? Would she even been born? Yet she hears him say this with so much hatred that it makes it seem that she should feel guilty, as if her existence was a crime. But, isn’t it?

If James didn’t fall off that train then he wouldn’t have been wiped and turned into the Winter Soldier. Then, he wouldn’t have met Natalia. Then, they wouldn’t have been part of the Super Soldier breeding program. Then, Darya wouldn’t have been born.

But it would be naive for Darcy to think that she was more than an experiment gone wrong. A weapon bred from weapons. Her parents never said it out loud but she knew that they never wanted a child. She was just another thing they were forced to give.

“Darcy.” Steve brings her back to reality.

“Just don’t. Steve. Please. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, these things happen for a reason. That everything that happened in the past falls into place just so you could be in this present. This. Right now.” _Because I do, Steve. I have to believe that everything that I went through has to happen in order for me to be here, with you. If not, I’ll lose my mind._

“I’m not saying that to invalidate everything’s that happened but you can never change your past. It’s done, Steve. We just…” Darcy was grasping at straws trying to comfort both her and Steve. All he did was stare at her, disbelief in his eyes.

“We just have to be happy wherever our past lead us.” Silence again. Darcy started forming tears of her own.

“Steve, are you happy?” she asks and at that moment she wish she didn’t. Steve looked at her and it revealed to her the truth. Darcy inched away from him. He didn’t try to pull her back. He didn’t even speak. Darcy’s hurt turned into anger.

“What did you see?” she asks again, her tone terse and cold. Steve looks away again, in shame. The vision set him up to be this way. It had to be something he saw.

“I saw us, on the roof. Our first date.” It was her turn to widen her eyes in shock.  “We were dancing and we spun but then the room change and instead of you twirling it was her.” Darcy’s heart stopped.

“Who?” she asks, but she doesn’t know why, she already knows.

“Peggy. It was a post war celebration, everyone was there, except-”

“Stop.” She stands and makes her way to the kitchen. She wants to leave. She doesn’t want to hear this but she has to stay because she wants to know. She needs to know.

“Steve, Peggy is ninety years old.” she says under her breath but he heard her.

“You know it’s more than me and Peggy.” He says in a voice Darcy thinks he uses for interrogations.

“Of course it isn’t. It’s about you being unhappy.” she said but it sounded more sarcastic than she wanted.

“Do you know what it feels like to wake up not knowing where you are? Then, everyone around you lies and then you realized everyone you loved was dead?” he throws the question at her and for a moment she wanted to scream yes.

“The world is so different, Darcy. I’m out of place. I’m out of time. Then the woman I loved is alive but is already ninety years old. My best friend is alive but oh wait, he tried to kill me!”

Steve stands and walks towards her and he tries to make her understand.

“The world moved on without me and I’m trying to catch up. I know you’re helping me. Thank you, but if given the chance, if Jane could science up a wormhole that could bring me back…” Steve leaves the sentence hanging and Darcy couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Then how could you make me love you?” She accuses him. She holds her ground and stares at him with tear filled eyes.

“Because I really thought I moved on, or at least I was ready to. I thought I accepted my past. Darcy I really do love you.” Darcy shakes her head. She can’t make sense of what she was hearing. He loves her but he isn’t happy with her. He wants to go back to the past.

“I can’t…” She waves him away and tries to walk but Steve says.

“The first time I saw you, I felt like I was home.” Darcy stops in her tracks. She turns to look at him but he was a blobby blond mess behind her tears.

“You looked at me as though you knew me, more than what the news or tabloids or even the history books wrote about me. You looked at me as if I was familiar, as if I was welcomed. You looked at me and I thought you really saw _me_.”

“I did. I did and I loved you. What I don’t get is that _you_ were the one trying to find me. _You_ sought me out. _You_ made everyone worried about me when I was late coming home because _you_ wanted to ask me out. _You_ told me to damn the future when I was doubting if we should even have a relationship. Now here I am, loving you, trying my best to make up for everything that you have missed, being there for you and you tell me you’re not happy? Why Steve? Why did you make me love you?!”

“Because I thought it was enough!” Darcy breath caught in her throat. She shakes her head in defeat. “Wait no, Darcy, I said the wrong thing.”

“I don’t give two shits about what you say. You made your point pretty clear. What’s the point of loving you when you’re too hung up on your past to appreciate all the love everyone’s giving? It’s not just me Steve, but the whole god damn team. I’m just the one who loved you the most. I’m just not enough.” _I’m never enough._ Darcy turns and goes to the bedroom.

“We’re over, Steve.” she whispers, she shuts the door. She reigns her tears back. Why was she never enough? Her mother doesn’t want her, her father doesn’t want to come home, and Steve doesn’t think she’s enough. Darya never felt so alone. She opens a drawer and grabs a canvas bag, she starts emptying her drawer. She takes her stuff. Steve doesn’t come in and she’s grateful for it.

Darcy packs her things, and her mind is set. She’s leaving, not just Steve’s apartment, but the tower. She’s leaving Stark Tower to find her father. It doesn’t seem right to keep lying to everyone and to herself. Only person keeping her from leaving is Steve but guess what, she doesn’t make him happy. Her father is the only person who loves her without her even trying to hide. Her choice was made. She’s going to say goodbye to Jane, to Thor, to everyone, and maybe, to Darcy Lewis, glorified intern. This causes another sob to rack her body and she tries to muffle it with her hand.

She walks out and she sees Steve sitting on the couch with tears in his eyes. He sees her and the bag. He puts two and two together. He stands.

“Wait Darcy, we can figure this out. Stay, maybe it’s not about us. Maybe.” She raises her hand and heads for the door.

“I don’t want to hear it Steve. It’s pretty clear that we weren’t ready for a relationship.” She fixes her eyes on the door and tries to walk fast because she can’t stand it anymore. She wants to cry and it hurts to know that the only person she wants to be comforted by is the one causing her pain.

“Darcy, please I love you.” he says. His last effort to make her stay. She pauses by the door.

“I love you too, Steve.” She says, her voice breaking. She runs out of the room before Steve could see her break down.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, here have some tissues. I hope this makes up for the wait. :) Please review, they help me realize that people actually care about this story other than me and my beta. 
> 
> Also my style of writing has changed throughout the months and I think you guys might've noticed, so I might be editing past chapters for it to coincide. I'm not taking or adding anything! If you're concerned, just grammar checking. :) Enjoy the story :))
> 
> Love you guys, see you soon. :)


	13. This Is Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darya has never felt this alone in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies,, here's the next chapter. Before reading this i would like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR LOVELY COMMENTS!! <3<3 it gives me so much joy reading all of your reactions. It really helps me get motivated to finish this story.. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter (tbh it was really taxing for me to write) !! Like the last chapter, please write down your comments and reaction and messages. TRUST ME I read them almost all the time. 
> 
> BUT if you really wanna talk to me message me in tumblr. msdianaprince :))  
> (im so excited for you guys)
> 
> Also a little warning,,, this story gets a little dark so prepare yourself (might edit the tags soon) 
> 
> ENJOY!!

Darcy watches as the data flows onto the computer screen. She keeps her mind at bay, gladly distracting herself with work. After all the hectic weeks, she has to transcribe all the backlog she’s been putting off.

Darcy works in silence, the keys tapping on her keyboard lulling her; the white noise calms her. She doesn’t want to listen to anything on her iPod. Music causes a stir in her emotions and she doesn’t want to feel anything, not yet.

The lab is empty, probably because of the post mission briefing. Darcy texts Jane, asking where she was. Jane doesn’t reply. Darcy had half a mind to check up on her but she perishes the thought. Darcy really wants to be alone right now. Plus, she still has these notes to transcribe. She wonders that if she finishes early, she can finally leave the tower.

Darcy stands and walks to the coffee maker. She has no plans of sleeping tonight. She looks at the clock while she waits. Three p.m. It’s been six hours since Darcy broke up with Steve. It’s been four hours since she dragged herself to pull it together and washed away all the traces of Steve in her skin. She felt pink and sensitive, like an exposed newborn. After a look at her closet, she takes a few clothes and slowly packs it in a bag. Just in case.

Darcy avoided looking at the bedroom wall. She doesn’t want to deal with _that_ either. She dressed herself and trudged her way to the labs. She preferred to do mind numbing work, just to tamp down the sheer vitriol she feels broiling in her stomach.

The coffee maker beeps and she pours herself a cup. She adds her cream and sugar and sits back down on her office chair. She leans back and takes a whiff of her coffee. She closes her eyes and sighs. She takes a long look around the conjoined laboratories and Darcy’s sad smile graces her features.

She can’t believe she’s leaving this place.

A tear slips from her eye and Darcy shakes her head. Nope, she’s not thinking. She won’t think, not right now. Darcy opens a cabinet and takes the bottle of vodka she stashed away. She adds it to her coffee and although she might not get drunk, she loves the kick it gives her.

She goes back to work.

“Tony it wasn’t real!” She hears Pepper shout. Darcy jumps at the sound. The couple was just walking in from the service elevator. Both of them didn’t seem to notice her. They were probably too caught up with their fighting.

“It will be real. Pepper you have to understand I have to do this.” Tony starts sitting on his desk and start pulling out blue prints.

“Wait, these date back months ago. You’ve been planning this?! Behind my back!” Pepper grabbed the hologram of the blueprint.

“Uhm…uhh..yeah.” Tony admits.

“Didn’t we agree, no more robots?” Pepper chastises him.

“Well I’m sorry honey but robots and suits are the only thing that’s been protecting us all these years.”

“Yes, and it’s the one who keeps putting us in danger in the first place!” Pepper shouts.

“I’m doing this to protect you. You know what I saw.”

“And I’m telling you it’s not real. Wanda was ordered to mess with your heads so that’s what she did.” Darcy jolts up as she hears the name Wanda. I guess everyone was still suffering from the visions she put in each person’s head. Darcy wonders what Tony saw.

“And you know what she did? She explained it. She told us that what she did was dig up everyone’s fears and regrets. She brought it out and tortured us. Pepper, I saw everyone lying on the ground dead. I saw Steve’s broken shield. I saw you, lying on the ground covered in blood. I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t save anybody!” A piece of metal went flying through the room and crashed at one of the desks.

“What’s the use of creating all these robots and gadgets and weapons and I can’t protect you?” Tony says to her and Pepper held his face in her hands.

“Tony, we survived so much together. We both almost lost each other. You’re constantly putting yourself in danger and I will always be by your side, rearranging your always shifting schedule.” At this Tony laughed and pressed a kiss on her open palm.

“Both of us aren’t going to run away from danger but please, take it easy. You can’t save everyone. Sometimes, not even me.”

“But I can try.” Pepper engulfs Tony in a hug and he clutches at her like a helpless child. Darcy forces herself to look away. It was wrong to eavesdrop. She grabs her earphones to block out their conversation as it erupts into another heated argument. Darcy decided to give them some privacy and went back to her work. She only noticed Pepper’s shouting overshadowing the music playing in her ears. She sees Tony walk away to the elevator, his hands waving all over the place.

Darcy notices the other elevator open and a flustered Jane stomps her way to her desk. Darcy’s stomach twists. She removes the plugs out of her ears.

“Thor left! He just left!” She plops down on her chair and Darcy swiveled herself to face her.

“But I saw him just a moment ago.” Piper chimes in, her eyes widened when she noticed Darcy sitting there.

“Yeah but he told me that he had to go to a sacred pool or something with Erik! He just left with Erik! I mean I could’ve tagged along, but no. It might be too dangerous!” Jane starts to vent and Darcy stood to get her something to calm down. She walks to Bruce’s corner and steal some green tea on his desk.

“He’s still in Midgard though?” Darcy asks.

“Yeah, but I know. I just know that he’s going back to Asgard. He needed to talk to Heimdall. Who knows when he’ll come back and no, Darcy he won’t let me come with him.” Jane starts scratching her pen across her notepad. She wasn’t writing anything in particular. Jane was just scribbling angrily.

“Is this about the vision Wanda gave him?” Pepper asks and Jane burst into another tangent.

“Yes! Apparently he saw a premonition of him ruling Asgard badly blah blah blah. Ugh I can’t believe this. Darcy where’s the vodka?” Jane rummages through her desk. Darcy clicked her tongue in disapproval.

“No Janey. Here have some tea.” she hands her the teacup.  Jane accepts it gladly and sighed.

“He can’t just run off and leave me. I can’t be left behind Darcy. I’m tired of waiting for him.” Jane starts to sag her shoulders and Darcy knows that her anger has died down and sadness took over. Darcy remembers nights spent on the roof of their trailer, the telescope pointing to the stars. Jane looks at sky, wondering where her love will be. Darcy remembers waking up and finding Jane talking into the night sky. She’d talk as if Thor was there, listening. Darcy’s heart breaks for her.

“He keeps breaking my heart and says it’s for my protection.” Jane whispers and Pepper walks toward them. She sits on the table, avoiding the paperwork. She places a hand on Jane’s shoulder and gives her a sympathetic smile.

“I know how that feels honey.” Jane starts to pout.

“Have you told him how you felt?” Darcy asks and Jane shakes her head.

“Fucking idiot. Can’t get it through his head. I keep telling him that if he wants to be with me has to be _with_ me. All the time, through everything but he keeps insisting that it’s better to just pluck me out of _my_ work and tuck me away to somewhere safe. It’s just bullshit. As if he’s the only one who can run recklessly into danger.”

Darcy looks at her best friend with puffy cheeks and tired eyes. She smiles, remembering her running around chasing storms and anomalies. She remembers her recklessness in London, her own curiosity making her infected with ether. Darcy smiles fondly at the memories, then it turned into a frown; a frown she’s trying to hide. Darcy couldn’t bear the thought of ever leaving her. She buries the thought and focuses on her friend, now quietly fuming over her boyfriend.

“How about you go fly your ass to wherever Thor went and surprise him. Boom bitch! I’m here and we’re doing this together. Deal with it.” Jane smiles at Darcy’s suggestion. Jane leans her head on Darcy’s shoulder.

“That would be nice but I’ll just wait for him to come back, then I’m going to tell him.”

“Tell him what exactly?” Pepper asks, her heels dangling above the floor.

“That if he still wants to be with me, he has to stop abandoning me and start including me.” Pepper gives a low whistle.

“That’s a heavy ultimatum.”

“Well, if he wants me to be his queen then those are my terms.”

“You’re negotiating an engagement?” Pepper asks. Jane tries to fight her smile but she lets it take over her face.

“Well, if you put it that way, yeah.” Darcy lets herself be happy for her friends.

“Pepper time to bust out the champagne.” Darcy said.

“No!” Jane crosses her arms on her chest. “I’m still plenty mad about him leaving.”

“Oh of course, of course. I understand. Next time then.” Darcy wonders if she would be there for that next time. “But for now, I’ll indulge you.” Darcy grabs the vodka from the drawer and pours it into Jane’s tea. It would taste like shit but the kickback is worth it. Darcy offers Pepper a cup coffee to go with the vodka but Pepper refuses, saying she’ll take a shot instead. Darcy leans back, impressed.

“Damn. Pepper, you never cease to impress me.” Darcy says as she finds a clean enough glass and pours the drink. She grabs another, for herself.

“I aim to please.” Pepper says, getting the glass.

Before anyone could talk, Darcy raises her bottle. The two women follow.

“To our shit boyfriends.” Jane says. Darcy reigns her emotions and drinks straight from the bottle. Darcy’s hair stand on end and she gags.

“Ugh god, tea and vodka. Ugh. Why?” Jane starts to cough. Pepper giggles, as usual, she takes her shot like a grown ass woman and doesn’t seem fazed at all.

“How about you?” Jane asks Darcy, once she recovers, pointing a finger at her. “I heard Steve had visions as well. How did he handle it?”

Darcy’s eyes shift to the ground. She takes another gulp.

“Oh… uh… we broke up.” The two women gasp.

“What?!”

* * *

 

Darcy walks in and finds the room devoid of anything but decrepit furniture. Blood boils in her chest. He’s gone. He’s really gone. She takes a step inside and she looks for clues, for anything left behind. She turns over floorboards and the mattress. Nothing. She flips a table and it felt good to hear it smash and splinter. Tears start to spill from her eyes as she believes that her father left her. He left her.

Darcy screams and hurls a plastic chair across the room. It shatters. She draws her knife and she starts slashing the mattress. Its contents start to spill and fluff start floating in the air. Her heart releases something wild and feral inside her and all she wanted to do was break. She punches the wall and the dry wall cracks against her knuckles. She hisses at the pain. She snaps out of it. She kisses her knuckles, knowing it would bruise by tomorrow.

She walks out of the room, the silent fury still pumping in her veins. She walks back to the tower. Her mind races. Possible theories to his disappearance arises and the only thing probable was that her father had a relapse. Something must’ve triggered it. Darya thought. Her father could’ve easily slipped into a mental breakdown. Since, she wasn’t there for almost two weeks her father must’ve forgot. She accepts that theory instead of the alternatives. She refuses to believe that her father got captured. Still, she has to make sure.

Panic begins to settle in and Darya breaks into a run. The pavement lifts her off her feet and she sprints to the tower. She has to make sure her father is safe. She bumps people along the way, receiving curses and threats. She didn’t care. Her heart beats fast against her chest. The minutes fly by and before she knows it she bumps into Clint on his way out of the elevator.

“Whoa, Darcy are you okay? You look pale.” he asks. Darcy doesn’t bother to answer and she presses the elevator button to close. She presses the button for her floor and she bounces on her feet. She starts to formulate a plan, giving her mind something to do while the elevator ascends.

The elevator door opens and she walks to the hallway leading to her room. She walks past the door that was supposed to be Jane’s (she moved in with Thor two days since they moved to the tower). Darcy doesn’t notice how the door was wide opened with an opened suitcase filled with clothes on top of the bed. Darcy grabs the keys on her pocket and was about to open the door when she pauses. The door was ajar. She sees the warm yellow light seep through the crack.

Darcy stops in her tracks. She grabs the knife on her back pocket and holds it in a tight grip. Darcy swallows her panic down and slowly opens the door of her bedroom. She readies herself for a fight. She sees a girl, her hair braided into a knot on her head. She looks up at the wall, her mouth hanging open. Darcy sees the stranger read her past. Darcy moves forward to get a good look at the girl and she was spotted. The girl’s eyes widen in fear and Darya felt a cold sense of confidence fill her. Hate starts to beat from her heart and fills her veins. It leaves a metallic taste on her tongue.

The girl snaps out of her shock and starts to ramble in a different language.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Darcy says, her voice sounding like a sword grinding against a whetstone.

“The rumors are true. You’re really real.” She says, her English deeply accented. Darcy doesn’t lower her knife.

“You have to help me. I need you.” Darcy throws the knife at the girl. It flies near the side of her head, almost missing her ear.

“Who do you think you are?” Darcy asks and she notices the red glow on the girl’s arm. Darcy watches as the girl schools her features.

“Wanda Maximoff.” she offers her hand to shake. Darcy ignores it and she takes it back. She stands straighter and she squares her shoulders. Her hands fisted, ready to attack. Darcy walks to the door and closes it. She locks the door.

“So you’re the one who’s been fucking with everyone’s mind. You’re younger than I expected.” Darcy eyes her up and down. She was wearing boy shorts and a loose tee. Darcy noticed how the girl looks bit too underweight for a girl her age. Darcy notices the cloud against the steely look she’s giving her.

“Same here.” she replies. Darcy’s interest is piqued.

“You know about me?” Darcy asks. Suspicion making the hair on the back of her neck stand.

“Yes.” Wanda says, her eyes drifting back to the reports Darcy plastered on the wall.

“How?” Darcy asks, she takes a step closer.

“I hear the whispers. Ever since the incident in Washington. Ever since the Asset escaped. Everyone won’t shut up about it for weeks.” Wanda explains. “Then they moved us. They moved to a place more secure, more secluded. Talk started going around about the others, about sending search teams for the Asset.”  Darcy cringes as Wanda called her father like that.

“A man, I do not know his name. He suggested that they should use his daughter to find him. That’s when your story spread around the whole compound.” Wanda starts to go around the room. She picks up a folder and opens it.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Darcy threatened. Wanda shrugged and closes the folder.

“They talked about you, Frostbite.” Darcy pinches her eyes shut, refusing to be triggered by her code name.

“People didn’t believe you actually existed. But the man, he showed documents, pictures, and videos. You were real. Then again, I never really believed it until now.” Darcy bites the inside of her cheek.

“I thought HYDRA held you prisoner.” Darcy counters.

“That’s why I need your help.” Wanda says. Darcy sees Wanda’s suave crack. Darcy still couldn’t believe what was happening. She wanted to slap herself for letting this happen. She starts to wonder how this even happen in the first place.

“Wait. Wait for a god damn second. How did you know that I was here?”

“I didn’t.” Wanda confessed. “I told you, I didn’t know you were real. Clint told me that I could stay at this floor. He said there was an empty room and that I was to be your roommate. I settled in and I got tired of waiting for you, so I did a little exploring.”

“The door was locked.” Darcy said through gritted teeth.

“It wasn’t.” Wanda replies. Darcy runs her hands down her face. She hates this. She hates this so much. Darcy curses the universe.

“They’ll never believe you, if you tell them.” Darcy says. Wanda smirks and shrugs her shoulder.

“Really? The evidence is really damning.” She gestures to the wall.

“I can hide it. I’ve been hiding for decades, what makes you think, you can break that streak.” Darcy threatens. “Plus, I doubt the Avengers trust your word over mine.”

“Who says I’m telling the Avengers?” Wanda asks and Darcy felt like she was pushed over a cliff. Darcy wanted to punch the smirk off her lips.

A thick silence fills the room. The two girls stand a few feet away from each other. Their tense standoff making the air thick.

“What do you want?” Darcy begrudgingly gives up. Darcy sees through Wanda’s thinly veiled shock. Darcy wonders if this girl really knows how to play her cards right. Darcy can still come out of this unscathed.

“I need your help.” Wanda tried to make it sound confident and arrogant but her desperation spills through her cracks.

“Why?” Darcy starts to relax herself and take off her gloves, making sure to let Wanda see the bruises. She plops them down on the nearest vanity. She turns and leans against it. Darcy sees a thought pass through Wanda’s mind and she sees the fear etched on her face.

“They have…” Wanda starts. “They have my brother.” Darcy’s brows raise.

“I’m guessing that ‘they’ is HYDRA.” Darcy says. Wanda nods. Suddenly, tears start filling Wanda’s eyes and Darcy saw her for who she really was. A scared little girl desperate to protect her brother. Darya wonders if she ever looked like her once upon a time. Well, given the current circumstances, she could relate.

Darcy is reminded of her missing father and it feels as if the whole world has been thrust upon her shoulders, yet again. Darcy sighs and grabs the nearest chair. She tosses the clothes, on the floor and sits. She looks down and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Why me?” Darcy whispers. She looks up and sees Wanda awkwardly sit on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest.

“I can’t tell the team. I can’t tell SHIELD. If they find out, they’ll kill him. Or worse.” Wanda’s voice breaks and she tries to hold back a sob. Darcy nods and stands up. She doesn’t know what made her do the things she’s about to do. Later, she likes to think that she did it because of the kindness of her heart. She sees herself in the frightened little girl and she didn’t want Wanda to go through this alone, like she did. Of course this was only a half truth, the selfish part of her would admit that she did this to prevent her from telling anyone about her identity. “A secret for a secret”, she would say when the time is right.

Darcy walks to Wanda and offers her a hand.

“Get up, you look pathetic.” Darcy says in a voice that sounded strangely familiar.

Wanda nods and takes her hand. She stands and Darcy smiles as Wanda’s face shift, displaying a newly found courage. Darcy admires her for that.

“So, you’ll help me?” Wanda asks. Darcy looks away and she finds herself looking at the picture of her father, an old picture of him in the military. He was smiling. In that moment she switched places with Wanda and she knows she’d do the same thing. Darcy closes her eyes.

“Yes.” She says. Wanda cries in relief. 

“Thank you.” The poor girl tries to take a step and hug her but she stops. She resorts to nodding her head, a wet smile on her face.

“Now leave before I change my mind.” She orders. Wanda falls back and flounders.

“But aren’t we going to talk…”

“I said leave.” Darya barks back, the anger creeping back suddenly. Wanda swallows and leaves abruptly, shutting the door closed behind her.

When Darya was completely alone, she grabs what was nearest to her, a jar of makeup, and hurls it across the room. The glass breaks, spilling its contents on the floor. Darcy shouts a curse in Russian. She accepts her bad luck. She accepts the fact that Steve broke her heart. She accepts her father leaving her. She accepts her identity being compromised. She accepts that her life is hell. The thought makes her kneel on the floor and she sobs.

Darya has never felt this alone in years.

* * *

 

Darya walks the streets in the dead of night. The cold wind numbs her face but she doesn’t care. She takes a random turn and she sees a pair of men eyeing her up and down. She isn’t scared the slightest. Her face displays her rage and no one dares to touch her. They better not.

She sees the street lights vaguely illuminating her way but her mind is somewhere else. Her mind is in the past. She thinks back on the unfortunate things that have happened to her recently. Her mind delves back on the memory of her break up. She thinks about Steve, how he broke her heart. Darcy tries to deny it but a part of her felt relieved.

Darcy lets out a breath and fog blows out of her mouth. She watches it rise and disappear.

She always knew that they were going to break up. She tried to fight the pessimism back then but no matter what she did, her father insisted on hiding. When her father hid, so did she. Steve doesn’t deserve that. With every day that passes, Darya hides in the comfort of her false identity. Some days, the guilt was bearable. Other days, it eats her heart out. If Steve didn’t break up with her the way he did, she would’ve been the one to call off the relationship, especially now that her father is missing.

Darya jumps and grabs the railing of a fire escape. She pulls it down easily. She climbs. Her steps were silent. She moves with graceful stealth. She hides from the windows as she ascends. She reaches the roof and she walks towards the farthest edge. She sits down, her feet dangling five stories above ground. She grabs the flask from the inside of her jacket and she takes a swig. She looks down at the gloomy street. She musters the courage but falters. She takes a long gulp of the clear liquor and for a moment, she feels the warmth in her belly.

“I’m glad, no. I’m _relieved_ that Steve broke off the relationship, not me.” She admits into the night. In that moment, Darya felt like the worse human being on that roof but she felt lighter once she admitted it. It’s been nagging the back of her mind and she knows it’s true. Darya closes her eyes and lets a single tear fall. She swipes it off with her hand. She stands and takes one last look at the ground below. She looks up at the sky, the stars are hidden behind the fog. She wonders, if Heimdall is watching over her right now. She chuckles. Why would Heimdall give a shit about her? An idea buzzes in her mind but she shrugs it off. Darya goes back to the fire escape and climbs down.

She continues to walk. She continues to think. The moon disappears from the sky and she looks at her watch. Three a.m. She doubts that Wanda would be asleep.

Wanda was another thorn to Darya’s side. Darya doubts that she left the room unlocked. Then again, she wasn’t really feeling herself lately. She has been more absent minded. The emotions having a greater toll on her than usual, but she always made sure the room was locked. Even Jane hasn’t been to her room, ever since she started mapping out her past and yet Wanda managed to pull the rug from under her. God damn it.

Darya contemplates on Wanda’s situation. She couldn’t believe she agreed to help. Why would she burden herself with another problem? Her secret was in danger, of course, but Darya feels like there was more to it. She felt Wanda’s pain. Darya looked at Wanda’s tears stricken face and she sees herself a few years back, wandering aimlessly, not knowing what to do, completely alone. She laughs at herself, that’s exactly her situation right now.

Her thoughts go back to Wanda, to herself a few decades ago. How she wanted to have someone to help her, to have someone make her feel at least a little less alone. Darya realizes that through Wanda, she has become the person her younger self needed. A shudder runs through her spine. She would be disappointed in herself if she refuses to help Wanda, but she’s putting herself in danger in the process. How could she know that she could trust Wanda? How can she even trust herself to help her? She’s too preoccupied in the first place. Will she be that dependable?

Darya takes a right and she finds herself blinded by the lights of a 7/11 store. She enters, the buzz of the fluorescent lights filling her eyes. She goes to the freezer and buys herself a bottle of water. She goes to the cashier and they ring her up. She notices a man outside the window, his dark silhouette against the even darker buildings behind him. She ignores him. Darya leaves and drinks the whole bottle outside. She throws it away and continues walking. The man has disappeared.

Darya continues to walk, her mind finding its way back to her father. Darya was surprised that she could stomach this much heartbreak in a span of two days. Yet, here she is, walking around Hell’s Kitchen at the dead of night with nothing to protect her but her bruised knuckles and unbridled rage.

She confirmed it, a few hours ago. Her father hasn’t been captured, but he is definitely missing. Darya wonders if her father has left the country. She wonders how long she has until she needs to leave the tower in order to find him.

Darya starts to list all the things she needed to do in order for her to disappear. _Disappear._ Darya laughs. She hasn’t tried disappearing since 2008. Her heart drops at the thought of leaving Stark Tower. She has to say goodbye to everyone, to Clint, Bruce, Tony, to Jane. Darya would miss Jane the most, (not including Steve). Could they find someone who could take care of her? Can she trust Thor to take care of her? Darya shrugs. She has to trust him, then.

Darya runs her cold hands through her hair when she hears a scream. She freezes in place. The screams don’t end and she hears another voice. A man silencing his victim. Darya looks around, she’s alone. She’s in an empty street and she knows that she’s the only who can help.

 Darya follows the scream. She takes a right turn and she sees them. A man, built like a fucking boulder, holding on to a man with red rimmed eyes. His curly hair was like a mop on his head and his glassy eyes held so much fear. Darya knows that this guy was high, or at least, he was under the influence. The man was currently fighting of his attacker, the buttons of his jeans undone.

“Hey!” Darya shouts and the attackers stops. His grip on the victim doesn’t waver but he looks at her.

“Look who we have here.” he whispers to his victims ear. The victim tries to shove him away but the attacker pushes him against the brick wall.

“Stop!” Darya shouts. She takes a step forward. The man, Darya decides to call him Mr. Fuckface, looked actually surprised at her bravado. He smirks. He let’s go of his victim. The victim slumps to the ground, his breathing ragged.

“Run.” Darya orders. The victim quickly buttons his pants and stumbles his way past her. Mr. Fuckface pouts but then it turns into a snicker.

“Oh well,” he said. “Two holes are better than one.” Darya fights the urge to vomit at his words. A piece of her twists and cool liquid metal pools in her gut.

“The order wasn’t for him.” She charges at him. The man only stands and smirks but his face contorts into pain and shock as Darya lifts him clean off the ground and slams him on the wall. He howls in pain.

“What? Don’t like it when little girls hurt you?” She says, her voice getting deeper, huskier, and calming. She remembers using this voice for interrogations. She remembers.

Darya punches Mr. Fuckface’s face, again and again with both her hands. He moves his head as she punched and she accidentally hits the wall instead. She curses. She releases his grip and he falls to the ground with a loud thud. Darya steps back a few paces, before she kicks him in the gut. He vomits.

“Get up!” She shouts but she realizes that she said it in Russian. She says it again, in English.

“Get up, you piece of shit.” She picks him up by the collar and throws him around. His body crashes at a nearby dumpster and she hears something crack. Darya fights off a smile.

She stalks after him. He cowers under the garbage, trying, and failing, to get away. Darya is reminded of an injured deer left to die. He balls up and starts coughing up apologies, and blood.

“I’m not done with you yet.” Darya says. She grabs him again and raises him as high as she could. She lifts him with her one hand as the other snakes its way to her back pocket and she grabs her trusty knife.

“How about I carve out your dick and then your heart? Hmm? Two holes _are_ better than one.” Darya says. It seems as though a dark cloud has washed over her. Her anger, her rage seeped out of her pores, stinging her eyes. The man tries to speak but it only caused him to cough blood, spraying it on Darya’s face.

“Speak clearly!” She shouts, this time in Russian. She slams him again and she could hear him gurgle his words. Tears are leaking out of his eyes and his lips move.

“Mercy.” they say without a sound. In that moment, the cloud passes and she’s more aware of what she’s doing, what she has done. Darya releases him as if he was scalding hot metal. He lies on the ground and whimpers. Darya steps back, looking at her handiwork. She tucks the knife away. She looks at him, crying like a dog. She bites the inside of her cheek. She looks around her. First, she notices a shadow pass. It was from the roof. Darya ignores it. Second, she sees a woman with dark hair and a pale square face. She was clad in a leather jacket, a bottle of scotch in her hand, and a camera slung on her neck. Behind her was the victim she saved minutes, (or was it hours?) ago. She walks towards the pair and Darya contemplates if she could take both of them. Well, the other guy was clearly a junkie so he wouldn’t be much of a problem. She stops, a few steps from the girl. Both of them eye each other intensely, sizing up each other.

The dark haired girl speaks up.

“Thanks for saving my friend.” she says, her eyes surveying the pile of human garbage on the floor, wheezing.

“No problem.” Darya places her bruised hands in her pockets, one of which has her knife in it. Darya hesitates, unsure on how to react. The girl looks above them and her expression changes. It turns from disbelief to refusal. Darya could see how hard she’s trying to hide it. Her lips forming a small “No.” Darya looks at the rooftops above them and she sees nothing. She does notice though, a shift in the air. She hears a shout for help and Darya rolls her eyes.

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of it.” The girl says. Darya tilts her head in confusion. The two women have a staring contest, each of them not moving, not knowing what to do next.

The man behind the girl, shrugs and awkwardly steps in between the two.

“I’m Malcolm, thanks for saving what’s left of my dignity.” He says, slurring his words. He offers his hand to shake and Darya eyes it. She looks again at the girl. Darya clasps one bruised hand firmly against his and shakes it.

“You’re welcome.” She says. The girl eyes her hands and cringes at her bloodied knuckles.

“You should get that checked.” Malcolm says. Darya nods her head and releases her grip. Before she could hide her hands again the girl offers her hand to shake.

“Jessica.” she says. Darya guesses that’s her name.

“Darya.” she replies, using her real identity to claim what she had done.

The two girls nod, satisfied. Darya looks around once more, to spot something, she doesn’t know what but there is _something_.

“Will I see you again?”  Jessica asks. Darya sighs and looks away, she hears Mr. Fuckface go silent.

“Let’s hope not.” she says as farewell. She starts walking away until she hears Jessica say

“Yeah, I hope not.”

 


	14. Somewhere Only We Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You need to learn how to hide, Wanda.” Darya sounded a lot like her father. “If you want to save your brother you have to learn how to keep a secret. Especially a secret such as yours.” 
> 
> Wanda. You asked me to help you. Demanded, even. This is it. I am the only person you can trust so whatever it is I do, you have to trust that it is for your safety, and your brother’s

Darya tries to pull her crusty eyelids apart. She groans in the dimly lit room. Rays of light escape in between the thick curtains and one of them, unfortunately, shines on her eyes. She covers her face with her hands but feels the scratch of cloth against her skin. Darya opens her eyes fully and sees her knuckles, covered in bandages, browned with blood and pus. For a moment, Darya wonders.

Then, she snaps.

She sits up but she moves too quickly. Blood rushes too fast and the room starts to spin. Her gut wretches. She curls to her side and heaves. Darya swipes the spit drooling on her chin. She didn’t have anything in her to vomit. Darya curls back to her…bed? It seems too narrow to be her bed.

Darya feels the cushion pressed tightly against her back. Her eyes adjust to the dimness of the room, the living room.

“Oh god damn.” Darya moans. She sits up, slowly this time, and starts to pull herself up to stand. She smells the sour mix of sweat and smog on her clothes. She feels around and she winces at the wire of her bra digging into her skin.

She examines her bandages. It was poorly done, with the ends tied up in a loose knot. She guessed she was too tired to dress it properly. It felt sticky. She smelled it and immediately regrets the decision. She shuffles her way to the kitchen sink. She plans to clean it and assess the damage. It’s probably not as damaged as it should be. Her healing factor might not be as fast as Steve’s but it was enough to survive.

She crosses the living room into the kitchen when she sees Wanda eating a bowl of cereal on the kitchen table.

“You’re real.” Darya murmurs, still groggy and dizzy. Wanda stops chewing.

“And you’re awake.” She replies. The two girls stare at each other. Wanda shrugs and continues eating her cereal. Darya walks to the second to the last cabinet on the far right of the room. She pulls out a first aid kit. She walks to the sink and turns on the tap.

She carefully unwraps her bandages and winces at the tackiness on her skin.

“M’sorry.” Wanda speaks. Darya turns her head and faces her.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“I don’t really know how to bandage wounds. Wasn’t taught. Tried my best.” Wanda continues to eat. Darya looks at her for a moment before continuing her work. She sees her pale knuckles spotted with already healing yellow green bruises. Her cuts were all closed except for one on her right hand. The cut ran from the knuckle of her pointer to the base of her ring finger. She cleans it and puts on a butterfly bandage.

“Thanks. Wanda.” Darya breaks the silence. She turns and leans on the metal sink. Wanda’s eyes drifted to her knuckles, before meeting her gaze.

“You’re no use to me if you’re weak.” Darya raises her brow. _Okay, we’re back to Ballsy Wanda._ Darya shrugs.

“What happened last night?” Darya asks. Wanda tips the box of cereal and refills her bowl.

“You walked in, drank your flask, and passed out on the floor.” Wanda deadpans. Darya nods her head in contemplation.

“Your hands were bleeding.” Wanda continues. “I had to carry you to the couch and try to wipe your wounds clean. Before that, I had to make sure you were still alive. You were as cold as a corpse, as heavy as one too.” Wanda chuckles, Darya levels her with a glare.

“Anyway…I cleaned your wounds and let you sleep on the couch. Could have tucked you in your bed but the door was locked.” Darya chews her bottom lip. She examines the girl in front of her, wolfing down the cornflakes and milk as if it was her first meal in a week.

“Thank you.” Darya says again. Wanda shrugs.

Darya walks to the refrigerator and starts to gather ingredients for her breakfast. She was thinking an omelet would satiate her stomach. At the thought of a hearty meal, her stomach growled. Darya opens the fridge, she grabs a carton of fresh eggs and before breaking one she looks back at Wanda, who was observing her quietly.

“Did you have breakfast?” Darya asks, which of course, was stupid. Wanda shakes the box of cereal.

“No one really taught me how to cook either.” She says. Darya rolls the egg on her palm.

“Do you…Do you want me to cook you an omelet?” She offers. Wanda freezes in confusion. A silence spreads between them and Wanda’s mouth opens and closes, unable to find an answer.

“I’d like that.” Wanda says. Darya smiles. Wanda doesn’t really smile back but Darya could see the edges of her mouth form the smallest of smiles and that seemed enough.

“Okay, two omelets coming up.” Darya busies herself with cooking with Wanda quietly waiting for her.

Darya sits down with two steaming plates of omelets. Both had slices of sausages and mushrooms mixed in. Darya then sprinkles a good helping of cheese on top and it melts on contact. Darya could see Wanda’s mouth water. Darya offered her the plate and Wanda took a bite. Wanda closes her eyes and chews slowly, savoring it. Darya smiles to herself. What a poor girl, Darya thinks. Darya takes a bite of her own omelet but she continues to watch Wanda eat as if a hot omelet was one of the best meals served at five star restaurants.

Darya starts to feel something, deep down in her gut. It seems familiar, but at the same time she couldn’t put a finger on it. Darya furrows her brow in confusion. She’s taken out of her reverie however, when Wanda burps loudly. Her face turns as red as a tomato. Wanda covers her mouth and mumbles an apology.

“S’alright.” Darya says, giggling herself. “Want some more?” She offers her plate. Wanda shakes her head.

“S’okay. I can make some more.” Darya encourages her. Wanda coughs.

“It is okay.” She tries to regain her breath. “I’m full.” A tight smile spreads her lips.

“If you say so” Darya eats her meal. Wanda grabs herself a cup of water and she gulps it down. Wanda runs from the kitchen and retreats to her room. Darya continues to eat in silence.

“Hey, is Wanda settling in alright?” Clint plops down on the desk and starts to toy with one of the calculators.

 “Yeah. We’re fine.” Darcy says, her eyes not leaving the monitor. Clint doesn’t reply but he continues to sit on her desk, pestering her.

Darcy sighs. She leans back on her chair and faces him.

“What’s Wanda’s story?” Darcy asks. Clint shrugs, busying himself with a pair of binoculars. Darcy pries it away from him, it cost her two months of savings just to buy it.

“Ask her.” Clint murmurs. He pouts when Darcy confiscates the binoculars.

“She’s not really an open person.” Darcy says. She remembers the first conversation they had. She was emotionally exhausted, from everything that happened. Wanda looked like she was a dam ready to burst. Desperation was written on her face and no smooth lines or cool facades could erase it. Darcy chews her lip.

“Do you like her?” Darcy asked. Again, Clint shrugs, his hands gripping the edge of the desk.

“I don’t know. She’s cute, but she’s young enough to be my sister.” Darcy throws a pen at him.

“Oh god, not like that.” Clint catches the pen with one hand and starts twirling it with his fingers.

“Steve said you fought her, before saving her.” Darcy said. She purses her lips.

“Yeah, I did.”

“And?”

“And she lost. We took her in. She told us her side of the story. Said that they forced her to do it. She wouldn’t stop crying. Red energy started glowing from her arms and when she screamed, the force knocked all of us on our asses. It wasn’t too great for me, got even more injured.” Clint rolled both his shoulders. “

“We had to stay on the base for another day. We had to incapacitate her just to make her safe for travel. Maria told us to. We holed her up in Bruce’s panic room. She told us how she was captured and experimented on.” Clint stared ahead, his face looking pale and grim.

“She was born with the powers. At least, that’s what she told us. That’s how she managed to stay alive. When the war and conflict broke out in her country. HYDRA found her. She was their…” Clint trailed off.

“Does she have family?” Darcy asks.

“She says that they all died during the bomb raid but…” Clint trails off again. He clenches his jaw and Darcy notices his knuckles turning white.

Clint relaxes and he looks at the floor.

“She needs a friend Darcy.” He says, cutting through the silence.

“I’m not asking you to befriend her, not after what she did to you and Steve.”

“She didn’t ruin our relationship, Steve did. I don’t blame her. It’s just…weird. You know?” Darcy starts to busy herself with typing. Her fingers fidget on the keyboard.

“Yeah.” Clint starts to swing his legs. “Wanda doesn’t like it here but Maria doesn’t want Wanda out of her sight. It’s like trading one prison for another.”

_I could relate._ Darcy thinks.

“Why are you nice to her? Everyone here just tolerates her, some don’t even want to hear her name.” Darcy looks over to the empty wedge of the lab where Stark should be tinkering.

“I know what it’s like to be forced to do something you don’t want to do.” Clint admits, his voice breaking. For one moment, she’s confused but then it dawned on her. Darcy’s heart felt like freshly melted chocolate. She rolls her chair towards Clint and wraps her arms around his waist.

“I love you Clint.” She says, her voice muffled by the waistband of his pants. A wet laugh escapes his throat and he ruffles the hair on her head.

“Love you too kiddo.”

Darya enters the common room looking for Wanda. She finds her sitting on a three legged stool, her knees pulled close to her chest. She sits by the high-rise windows and peers down at the busy street below. The sun washes over her pale face and she stretches her arm. She basks under the sunlight.

“You’ve got any sunblock on? You might get burned.” Darya calls out to her. Wanda twist her head and looks back at Darya. She rests her chin on her shoulder. She looks at Darya over and looks back at the window.

“It’s been a two months since I’ve seen the sun.” She murmurs. Darya walks over to her. A small, encouraging smile spreads her lips. With her hands on her pockets she says.

“It’s a nice day for a walk.” Wanda stares at her from the corner of her eye.

“Yeah, it is.”

“You wanna go out? I could show you around.” Darya offers. Wanda scoffs.

“I’m not allowed to go out. They’re afraid that I might run.” Wanda laughs, but it felt colder on Darya’s ear. “As if I know where to go.” Wanda curls in on herself and continues to watch the street below. Silence ensues.

“At this height.” Darya says, joining Wanda and looking down at the ground below. “The people look like ants. Small, crushable ants.” Darya sees Wanda smirk.

“They probably are to you.” Darya says.

“And to you.” Wanda adds. Darya smiles herself. Slowly, she places her hand on Wanda’s shoulder.

“You really don’t want to go outside? I could show you around. I’ve stayed here long enough. I was pick pocketed here once. Got lost a lot of times. I could probably say that I’m a native.” Wanda shrugs.

“Aw c’mon. We could enjoy the sunshine, the smog. We could go to the park and just laze around and I dunno… talk?” At this, Wanda’s eyes landed on hers and there was a spark of attention. Wanda asks a question through her eyes and Darya nods. Wanda goes back to staring at the world outside.

“Okay.” Wanda says, her voice small and timid. She jolts when Darya claps her hands.

“Alright! Let’s go.” Darya grabs her hand and leads her outside, making sure that no one sees them go out.

Wanda has remained silent throughout the way. When they exited the room, she quickly pried her hand away. Darya remained nonplussed. She guided her through the crowded hallways, wading through the sea of people. It was apparent that Wanda didn’t know where they were. She just followed Darya whenever she makes sudden twists and turns, through empty stairways and elevators filled to the brim with people. Wanda was about to get dizzy when Darya opens the door and leads them out into a busy street. Darya takes her hand again and they walk briskly towards the busy sidewalk.

“Where are we…’ Darya cuts her off. She presses a finger to her lips, shushing her.

Hand in hand, they walk through the crowd, blending in. Darya felt like she was swimming more than walking. The throngs of people going to and fro, with places to be and people to meet. It was oddly comforting. She looks back and she sees Wanda hunching her shoulders, her eyes darting left and right. She flinches when someone bumps into her. Her other arm wrapping around herself. Darya squeezes her hand and pulls her forward. She wraps her other arm around Wanda shoulders in an embrace.

“C’mon. Almost there.” She whispers in her ear. Darya feels Wanda’s breath come in and out in short bursts and Darya holds her close. They walk until the sea of people lessen to some degree. Darya turns a corner and they are in an empty street lined with old buildings. A group of kids are playing on the sidewalk, drawing with neon colored chalk. An old man sits outside a corner shop, newspaper in hand, a picture of Steve in some event right on the cover. He smokes. Darya greets him as they pass and he nods. The two girls walk.

Darya finds an old decrepit bench marred with graffiti. They sit down and she waits in silence. Wanda breathes in and out in and out, through her clenched teeth.

“Breathe in through you nose, Wanda. Exhale through your mouth.” Wanda tries, but she gapes like a fish out of water.

“Wanda. Can you hear me?” Darya asks, she fixes her gaze on the girl, her eyes shut tight, sweat beading down her forehead. Wanda nods.

“Say yes, if you can hear me.”

“I… I…yes.” Wanda responds. Darya coaches Wanda through her panic. She places her hand gently on her chin, closing her mouth softly. “Breathe in”. Darya orders, Wanda takes a shuddering breath. She blows it out as slowly as she can. “Again.” Darya says, her voice sounding like the soft waves lapping on the seashore. Wanda breathes again. She repeats and repeats until her shoulders sag and she leans against the bench.

“There you go.” she says with a reassuring pat on the shoulder. She smiles at her but Wanda ignores her and keeps looking at the floor.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asks, her discomfort giving an edge to her voice.

“We needed to talk.” Darya replies.

“But do we have to go through all of that just to talk?”

“Yes.” Darya replies without missing a beat.

“You need to learn how to hide, Wanda.” Darya sounded a lot like her father. “If you want to save your brother you have to learn how to keep a secret. Especially a secret such as yours.” Darya looks back at her and she sees Wanda has already curled her legs under her.

Darya relaxes on the bench. She looks up at the sky above and for a dingy neighborhood they’re in, the sky was still a clear blue.

The two girls sit in silence. Both of them do not know how to start.

“How are you?” Darya seems it would be a nice place to start.

“What do you think?” Wanda replies.

Darya shrugs. “I think you’re doing fine, given the circumstances. Have they contacted you already?” Wanda shakes her head.

“You have to tell me the full story. If you want me to really help you, I need to know what’s exactly going on.” Wanda starts to curl her knees to her chest. Her arms wrap around herself as if to guard herself from something.

“Wanda..” Darya starts. She places her bruised hand on top of Wanda’s cold and clammy one.

“You’re safe.” she whispers.

“Am I?!” Wanda bursts. She crawls away from Darya’s touch. “Am I really?!” Darya’s face turns cold and serious.

“Right now, in this abandoned street, where no one actually knows you? Yes. Yes you are.” Darya looks at the girl, with eyebrows raised and wild wide eyes. She looked like a small animal backed into a corner, with no way out.

“Wanda. You asked me to help you. Demanded, even. This is it. I am the only person you can trust so whatever it is I do, you have to trust that it is for your safety, and your brother’s.” Wanda starts to calm down, contemplating on Darya’s words.

“So you’ll help me? You’ll help me save my brother?” Darya nods.

“I told you last night and I will say it again. Yes.” Wanda nods her head and faces the empty street with cracked pavement and litter all over the sidewalk.

“Now.” Darya says. “Tell me what you know.”

It takes Wanda a few minutes to know where she would start. There are times where she would have a hard time translating from her own mother tongue. Darya helps her along with that. Wanda tells her story.

“We never met out mother.” Wanda starts, Darya doesn’t know why she decided to tell her whole life story. Darya thought she was just going to talk about what HYDRA is making her do. Then again, she was curious anyway.

“My brother and I, we get shuffled around through…” Wanda furrows her brow and starts to move her arms around. “It’s a place where orphans go with a family but they’re not really adopted.”

“We call it foster homes.” Darya says. Wanda nods, soaking up the information.

“Yeah, okay. Uhh… We always come together. I never leave without my brother and he doesn’t leave without me. As we grew older, no one really wanted us. Some wanted just me, and others liked my brother more but we…said no a lot of times… what is it called?”

“Refused.” Darya answers. Wanda nods again.

“We refused, or we run away. When we were old enough, we started joining these rallies and protests because our country wasn’t really….”Wanda trails off again.

“Peaceful?” Darya asks.

“Yeah.”

“How did you find out about your powers?” Darya asks.

“I found mine first.” Wanda starts to fidget with her fingers.

“We were staying at those…foster homes.” Wanda says; the new word was awkward on her tongue.

“There were bombs.” Wanda starts her voice getting deeper. “There was a room below the ground floor of the house.”

“The basement?”

“Yes, it was supposed to be where we should hide. But, we never knew there was going to be an attack and we were sleeping and when I woke up the house was shaking.” Wanda starts to mutter in her own language and Darya couldn’t follow through.

“Wanda.” Darya calls out. Red wisps of light started to from her fingers and Darya tried to calm her down.

“Wanda, look at me.” It takes a moment for Darya to gently grab Wanda’s chin and direct her gaze. Wanda looks at her with tears in her eyes.

“We were hiding under the bed and then…and then…A bomb went through our ceiling. I saw it, it was in front. Pietro, held me, said he loved me. I closed my eyes and…” Wanda started sobbing. Darya didn’t know what to do? She doesn’t know the proper social cues for this particular situation. Do you hug her? Do you hold her while she cries? Darya wants to but they’re not really close. Hell, they’re not even friends.

“Stark! It was Stark!” Wanda starts to shout.

“Wanda?” Wanda stands and a jet of red energy flows from her arm and up to the sky.

“Wanda please, calm down.”

“It was his bombs! I saw it, right in front of me. His name on his bombs!” Wanda turns to look at Darya, her eyes screaming murder.

“He killed everyone, everyone in that home. I woke up and it was only me and Pietro who lived. I protected us.” Her hands started to glow red and she looked at it. Her tears dripping down her face.

“I protected us. Everyone else died. Stark killed them.”

It took a while for Wanda to eventually calm down. Darya looked around and saw that the kids from earlier were already called by their parents to go back inside. While the old man was snoozing on his lawn chair, oblivious to everything that happened. Darya took Wanda’s hand again and led her through a maze of streets. Darya avoided crowds, Wanda already had enough panic attacks for the day.

Darya settled in to a street that was familiar to her. She stops by a shop. She asks Wanda if she wanted to go in and Wanda says yes. They go in, still holding the other’s hand, and Wanda is taken aback by the different colored flowers placed around the shop. Darya walks to the cashier at the front.

“Hi Carissa.” the cashier greets. Darya smiles.

“Hello, Joy. How are you today?” Joy looked like she was a person who would frolic in a misty forest during the fall, wearing a flower crown and a sundress. Her bare feet curling in the soft wet moss. Joy smiled at Darya and it’s a smile that always made Darya feel better, like butterscotch candy after a dentist appointment.

“I’m doing great. The flowers are lovely this autumn. The dead leaves are so crunchy. Ugh, I love it.” Joy starts to assemble the bouquet that Darya always asks for. Lilies and yellow mums arranged delicately in green foliage.

“I’m so ready for Halloween. I’m going to dress up as Persephone.” Joy starts to talk as she snips the stems.

“How about you?” she asks Darya.

“Probably go as myself, you know a failed abortion.” Joy starts laughing. Her loud cackling made Wanda uncomfortable.

“You and your self-deprecation. This is why I like you.” Joy sees Wanda on the back corner and she beams her a smile.

“Hi honey, what’s your name?” Joy asks. Wanda shuffles her feet and stutters.

“My name’s… Wanda.” she says.

“You’re not from here, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, she just moved into my building.” Darya lies. Wanda stares at her but Darya smiles at her encouragingly.

“Oh darling, welcome to New York.” Joy plucks a small rose from a basket and hands it out to Wanda. Wanda steps forward and takes it from her. She inches away and resumes at looking at the flowers on display.

“She’s pretty young.” Joy says, continuing her work on the bouquet.

“It’s alright. I’m showing her around, she’s just here to look for her missing brother.” Darya says. Joy started to frown, and although she does genuinely feel sad, her wide eyes and pouty lips made it seem more comical.

“That’s so sad. Well, I hope she finds him.” Joy says. She wraps a ribbon all around the flower arrangement and gives it to Darya. She hands Joy the payment and thanks her immensely.

“I hope to see you again Carissa!” Joy says as the two girls walk from the door.

“Carissa?” Wanda asks.

“What? It’s a flower.” Darya replies.

“Yeah but how many fake names do you have?” Wanda asks, fiddling with the rose Joy gave her.

“As many as I need.”

“But how do you keep track?”

“Well, I remember the ones where I use frequently, like Carissa, Katya, Rose… Darcy.”

“I didn’t use a fake name.” Wanda says halfheartedly.

“It’s alright. You didn’t have to.” Darya juggles the large bouquet in her hands. She wraps an arm around it and used the other to grab Wanda.

“C’mon, we’re going to pay a visit.” She says as the two girls walked inside the gated cemetery.

Darya cleans the headstone first. She hands the bouquet to Wanda. Darya rips out the weeds, delicately, making sure that she doesn’t uproot the grass as well. She grabs a handkerchief from her back pocket and gently wipes the stone. She operates in a smooth, methodic way. She uses her nails to scratch away the dry wax sticking into the marble. She clicks her tongue when her nails break but she persists. She runs her hands on the indentations on the stone. She smiles. Darya collects the dry leaves by hand and places them in the corner of the lot. She picks up the dying flowers lying miserably on the ground and throws it away.

She grabs the bouquet from Wanda and places it in the middle. She kneels on the soft grass. She presses three dirty fingers to her lips and presses it on the headstone.

“Who’s she?” Wanda asks.

“My father’s sister.” Darya rises, wiping her dirty hands on her jeans.

Wanda looks at the headstones and examines it for herself. Darya walks over and finds a shady spot on the nearby tree. She sits down on the grass, ignoring how prickly it made her feel. Wanda looks at the other tombstones and reads their names, their ages, the single dash between the day they were born and the day they died, representing their entire life. Wanda spots the decrepit headstone with faded letters.

“This is your fathers? I thought he was alive?” Wanda asks. Darya motions her to sit next to her and Wanda obeys.

“Yeah, he is. I hope.” Darya ignores the twist in her gut. Wanda’s face twists and she looks at the date of her father’s “death”.

“He fell on a train during his mission in the 40s. My father is as old as Steve, if you don’t know.”

“And how old is Steve?” Darya couldn’t hide the shock on her face.

“You really don’t know?” Wanda shakes her head. Darya lies down on the grass, her arms crossed under her head. She stretches her legs and relaxes under the shade.

“Honey, it’s a complicated story.”

“Then uncomplicate it.”

Darya thinks of where to starts. It was a hard choice. Does she start with her father’s life before HYDRA? She knows next to nothing about that part of his life. Does she start Steve? Her heart wrenches from her chest. The pain was still there, gnawing at her. Darya closes her eyes and concentrates.

She decides to go with what the textbooks have written. His transformation. His efforts in the war. His death in the ice. Darya changes the topic and starts talking about her father. How he fell from the train. How he was taken, tortured, and brainwashed. She told her of Yakov Yekmenev and how he met a woman with striking red hair. She tells her the stories of stolen kisses and forbidden love. Darya bites her tongue. She restrains herself from telling Wanda her own life story.

“Is that Natasha?” Wanda asks. Darya frowns but she nods her head yes. The grass rustles and Darya feels Wanda’s warmth next to her. A warm breeze catches Darya’s hair and it tickles her nose. They lie in pregnant silence. Rays of light peek through the gaps between leaves and it webs around their bodies.

“What did HYDRA ask from you?” Darya whispers. Wanda clutches the grass beneath her fingers. They have avoided the topic enough. They’ve been gone for too long, people will look for them.

“They told me to get information.” Darya strains to hear Wanda’s voice against the crushing of leaves and the whistle of the wind between branches.

“What kind?” Wanda shrugs.

“Anything valuable. They want something of Stark’s.”

“How are you going to get it?” Darya rolls her head to the side and she sees tears streak Wanda’s eyes. Her gaze fixed at the browning leaves above them.

“I don’t know. He doesn’t trust me. I can’t get near two feet of him without him leaving the room. I won’t lie but I don’t want to be near him either.”

“Have you ever thought of telling the others?”

“They’ll kill Pietro.” Wanda said, or at least that’s what Darya thinks. Wanda’s voice was getting softer with each reply.

“How are they going to contact you?” Wanda shakes her head and she covers her eyes with her hand. Her mouth twists and she sobs quietly.

“They said they will, but I don’t know. I don’t know.” Darya looks up and looks away from Wanda. Darya thinks. It was apparent to her that Wanda being an insider for HYDRA was a rash decision done out of desperation. They hold her brother hostage but didn’t give her any information on how to proceed or have given her any means of communication. They were panicking. This was rushed. A chill runs down Darya’s spine.

This wasn’t part of HYDRA’s plan, then what was?

“I’ll help you Wanda.” Darya whispers. Darya rolls to her side.

“Wanda, I’m going to help you bring your brother back.” Wanda was still covering her eyes.

“I’ll bring him back. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves!! HOW ARE YOU GUYS? I hope you're all excited for this new chapter! I really enjoyed writing this.
> 
> The semester just started and the updates are going to take more time than usual. Please stay faithful to this story. I promise I won't abandon this ((im already thinking about a sequel ahahaha hala) ))   
> Honestly, we're almost halfway there to the story so don't fret. 
> 
> Please keep reviewing. I don't get paid to do this but ur reactions keep me going :))


	15. In Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What I’m saying is that no one can get to you unless you allow them to. The moment you let them in, they will burrow under your skin like a parasite. You can’t shake them off for the rest of your life. Yes, I’m telling you to back down but that doesn’t mean you aren’t fighting. This.” Darya pokes at Wanda’s heart. “Has to keep beating, stronger, every day.”
> 
>  
> 
> “You hide knowing that one day you’ll come back and bring hell. You hear me Wanda?

“Now, tell me what happened.”  Wanda fidgets in her seat. Her gaze fixes on the floor.

“I wanted to sneak out and visit…Joy.” Darya’s brows rise up her forehead. Wanda tries to hide her blush. A smirk appears on her face but it quickly disappeared.

“Then what happened? Did they get her?” Wanda shook her head.

“If they did I would’ve killed them.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Wanda looked at her then, with wide eyes. Her hands balled into fists.

“I was caught off guard. I didn’t expect… I was surprised, I couldn’t move. They put a bag on my head and I was poked here.” Wanda pointed to her neck and Darya jumped off the couch to look at the small puncture wound. She shakes her head.

“What time did you leave the tower?” She hurried towards the kitchen, looking for the first aid kit.

“I don’t remember.”

“How heavy was the traffic?” Darya reappears with the white medical box on hand. She starts to unpack and she forces Wanda to crane her neck.

“What?”

“How fast were the cars? As they went through the street.” Darya presses a cool swab all over her wound.

“They weren’t moving at all.”

“Alright. Continue.” Darya commands. She disappears into the kitchen again and Wanda pressed her nails against her skin.

“Wanda, continue.” Darya hands her a glass of water.

“Drink as many fluids as you can and when you’re about to pee,” Darya hands her a plastic cup. Wanda nods and takes it.

“I… uhm… when they took the bag off me. I was in a van. Everything was black, even the windows. There were no seats, only the ones in the front.” Darya paces in front of her, her hands forming a steeple under her chin.

“Did you recognize them?” Wanda shut her eyes close.

“I can’t…I’m…I’m sorry.”

“S’alright sweetheart. Just continue.”

“They were asking me, how I was. If they took me in. I told them the truth.” She pauses. Darya remains completely silent.

“They asked me for any information. I couldn’t give them any. One of them…One of them thought that I was going soft. That I… I was working with Stark. I said no… Then, then they let me read his mind and oh god.” Wanda breaks down. Her head falls into her hands and her sobs muffle against her fingers.

“Focus Wanda. Focus.”

“They… I saw him. Darya, I saw him. He was on a treadmill, He was so tired but whenever he slows down they shoot electricity up his arm and I…”

“How are you even sure that it’s real?”

“What?!”

“I’m asking you, is that real? Or are they just making these things up in order to scare you?” Wanda stares at her.

“What are you saying?” Her tone went deeper, more threatening. Darya goes to her and bends down until she’s face to face.

“You love your brother don’t you?” Wanda nods. “Then he’s your weakness. They will use him Wanda. They will use him against you and I’m afraid they already did.”

“I didn’t tell them about you.”

“Yes but they terrified you. The moment you show weakness means they have already won.”

“But I just want my brother back!”

“How? Wanda. Tell me.”

“You told me to comply with their demands. You told me to hide.”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

“And now you’re telling me that I should go against them?”

“Yes.”

“You’re confusing me.”

“What I’m saying is that no one can get to you unless you allow them to. The moment you let them in, they will burrow under your skin like a parasite. You can’t shake them off for the rest of your life. Yes, I’m telling you to back down but that doesn’t mean you aren’t fighting. This.” Darya pokes at Wanda’s heart. “Has to keep beating, stronger, every day.”

“You hide knowing that one day you’ll come back and bring hell. You hear me Wanda?” Darya shakes her head. She looks out their living room window. The sun beats down on her. She wonders how HYDRA managed to capture Wanda during rush hour. How did they even know she left the building? Darya stretches her arm and presses a nearby button. The shades are drawn down and the room is filled with darkness.

“They gave me this.” Wanda goes under her shirt and pulls out a scrap piece of paper. Darya’s skin crawled at the thought of someone touching Wanda. A question forms in her mouth but Wanda beat her to it.

“They gave me this and pushed me to the curb. Nothing else happened.” Darya searched in her eyes if she was telling the truth. Darya takes the slip of paper and reads the address.

“They want me to find out what Stark and Banner are currently doing. Nothing digital, they said. They don’t want a trace.” Darya folds the slip of paper and hides it on the back pocket of her jeans. She already knows what to do.

“Anything else?”

“They told me to ‘make it good’ whatever that means.”

* * *

 

“Make it good. Make it good. Make it good.” Darya mumbles to herself as she starts to gather old scraps of notes and dump it on one box.

Jane walks in and slumps on the desk behind to her.

“I feel like I’m pregnant.”

“What!” Darcy shouts at her. She spins on her chair and faces Jane. Her finger poking her belly.

“No. I meant, my belly. Makes me feel fat.” She giggles. Darcy spins around and she looks at Tony, who momentarily stopped working to gawk at them.

“Did you give her your Stark patented energy drink again? Because I swear to Thor.” Jane goes wobbles to Darcy’s desk and taps her nose.

“Don’t say that. Thor takes curses really seriously.” Darcy shakes her head.

“Are you drunk? Let me sniff you.”

“Ooh kinky.” Tony chimes in.

“I thought you’re working on another secret project Pepper isn’t supposed to know about.” Tony shuts up and resumes working.

Darcy walks with Jane to the nearby kitchen. Darcy grabs her by the elbow.

“Are you really drunk?” Darcy asks again, she raises Jane’s arm for a whiff but Jane brushes her off.

“No I’m not. I just wanted to get you alone.” She whispered. She grabs Darcy forward and Darcy’s hip hits the counter.

“Ow, easy Jane.”

“Sorry.”

“You know you could’ve just said ‘Darcy can we talk real quick. Let’s go to the kitchen.”

“Yes but Tony will suspect something.”

“Yeah, because announcing that you feel pregnant, when you have an active sex life with the god of fertility himself, wouldn’t raise anyone’s alarm.”

“Oh, you’re right.”

“Anyway, I just wanted to ask you how you are doing.”

“That’s what you’re worried about.”

“Well yeah, you just broke up with Steve and you got stuck with Wanda. So,” Jane reached for her hand.

“How are you? Really.” Darcy looked at Jane and there was this strong temptation tugging her heart. She wanted to tell her. To ease this heavy burden off her chest. Then again, what she’s been doing all this time was to set up her biggest betrayal. She doesn’t want to think about that right now.

“I’m doing what I do best.”

“Repress the fuck out of your feelings?”

“Yup! That’s it. Now let’s get back to work.”

“Darcy.”

“What do you want me to say Jane?”

“The truth.”

_If only it were that easy._

“I’m heartbroken Jane. Is that what you want me to say? Steve broke my heart. You know how that feels right? Don’t tell me Thor hasn’t done the same.” Jane’s mouth set into a straight line and Darcy looked away.

“I’m sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter. You were hurt and I’m so sorry that I put work and Thor and all this crazy bullshit to put off me from talking to you.”

“It’s fine Jane.”

“No, it’s not. Now how about we take a break and go outside. How about a day in the spa?” Jane linked her arm around Darcy’s and tugged her closer.

“Whoa there. Are you sure you’re the real Jane?”

“New and improved.” Darcy grinned. “Now c’mon. Let’s slack off.”

* * *

 

Darya’s limbs felt heavy. Her whole body weighed down on the couch. She sighs heavily, her arm draped around her middle. The cold started to seep into her skin but she ignores it. She had half a mind to stand and get a blanket but she remains motionless.

She could feel Jane’s presence beside her. She passed out on the three minute mark of their foot massage. JARVIS managed to call two SHIELD approved masseuses. Once they started massaging their worn out feet, everything else turned into bliss. Darya lets herself smile at the comfort Jane gave her when she was still conscious.

Darya could feel herself slipping into a dream. She lets herself be dragged down to unconsciousness when she hears a pair of voices. Her senses went on high alert. Her ears strain to catch a conversation she wasn’t meant to hear.

“Are you sure about this?” he said. Darya’s heart skipped a beat. His tone dipped, voicing out his doubt. It was as faint as a whisper but she could hear it like a great boom.

“Yes, Steve. Unless, you don’t want to?” Darya hears a foreign voice. She couldn’t point it to anyone in the tower.

“Of course I want to. It’s just…the timing.”

“So?”

Darya’s mind went into the unholiest of ideas. She thinks of stole kisses and whispered moans. Her hands clench into fists. She opens her eyes into a slit. She couldn’t see anything other than shadows against the soft light of the room. She sees his shadow. A block of black against the warm orange.

“Alright. Fine.” He says, his voice strong and steady. “As long as you’re with me.”

“Always.” Darya wills her tears at bay. She hears their footsteps and she shuts her eyes closed. She could her heart drum in her ears. It takes too much effort to calm her breathing. She smells him before she could hear him enter. He smelled like the Old Spice body soap she bought him once. His heavy footfalls go louder and louder until it stops. She sneezes and rolls to her side. She curls herself up into a ball.

She could feel his presence so close to her. In her mind she sees him, bent over her sleeping form. She wonders if he’s looking at her with that shy smile she loved so much. She wonders if there’s a blush on his cheek as he watches. She sees him raise one large hand. He stretches his long fingers towards her cheek. Closer and closer, the hair on her arms stand on edge and she holds her breath.

Nothing happens.

When Darya was confident enough to open her eyes, the room was empty. It was quiet, save for Jane’s snoring. She shifts and she feels the touch of soft wool against her skin. She clutches at it and she buries her face in the cloth. She adorns the sweater two sizes too big, like armor. She closes her eyes and breathes in.

It smells just like him.

* * *

 

“You’re leaving aren’t you?” Wanda asks as she enters. Her eyes widen as she saw the once cluttered room turn so barren. She avoids the boxes stacked against each other.

“Yes.” Darya was tapping on her laptop, organizing scanned documents and updating her calendars.

“When?” Wanda paces in front of her. Her hands wringing together and her eyes glued to the floor.

“Well, obviously not now. Soon. Probably. The sooner the better.” Darya closes the programs on her laptop. She fishes out the missive she took from Wanda three days ago. She runs her thumb on the wrinkled paper. She raises her gaze meets Wanda’s.

“Once we mail to them the information then I can finally execute my plan.” Wanda nods and moves to sit on the bed.

“Are you really sure about this? Can you really betray her like that?” Wanda asks and Darya shakes her head.

“I don’t need you doubting on me. This is going to be one of the greatest lies I need to pull off. _We_ need to pull off.” Darya gives the paper to Wanda and she takes it. Her fingers wrap around it and it glowed with energy. The paper burned in her hands. When Wanda opened her palm, it was empty. Darya smiled.

“It’s a shame that they don’t want to hone your powers.” Darya remarks. She sets the laptop aside and stretches her arms above her head.

“I’m done with experiments.”

“I meant training Wanda. You’re easily the most powerful person in this tower, if you want to be.” Darya looks at her then and Wanda tilts her head like a puppy. Darya grabs the neatly folded sweatshirt from a chair and she stares at the faded gray wool.

“I’m gonna go. Please make sure you lock the door on your way out.”

* * *

 

She hesitates in front of his door. She grips his sweater a little too tight. She peers around and she sees no one. She buries her face in his shirt again, willing for it to give her strength. She raises her hand to knock but before it could touch wood, it opens.

Darcy sees a blonde woman on the doorway, a grin plastered on her face.

“Hello.” she greets. Darcy’s mind panics. She flounders.

“Hi. Is Steve here?” she asks, her voice higher than she wanted it to be.

“Oh, he’s in the shower.” The woman pulls on her cardigan tighter around her slim body. She takes a step back and cups one hand around her mouth.

“Steve! Someone’s here to see you.” She smiles back at Darcy. “He’ll be with you in a second. Can you excuse me?” Darcy moves aside and she walks away. The woman’s blonde hair tickles her nose and it smelled like strawberries. She disappears, the elevator doors swallows her whole.

Darcy remains on the threshold not sure if she’s welcome anymore. She peers through the open doorway. She sees him, a towel on his waist and one in his hand, furiously rubbing his damp hair.

“Sharon? Who is it?’ he asks to the air. He sees her and the towel drops from his hand.

“Darcy.” He says. She stretches her lips into a smile. She steps forward and picks up the towel from the floor.

“Just came here to return something.” She hands him his towel and his sweater. Steve continues to stare at her in disbelief. Darcy walks to the table and sets the items there.

“I’m leaving for London.” Steve blurts out. Darcy stares at him. “With Sharon. Peggy just got transferred back to her hometown and I thought-“

“Why are you telling me this?” she whispers, tears forming in her eyes.

“I thought you would want to know.”

“I don’t.” She says. Steve takes a step back and his shoulders hunch. Darcy walks back to the door, afraid of what she’ll do.

“Have a safe journey.” Darcy says as she reaches the door. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” She closes it and walks away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I have heard some concerns from my beta that there might be people who would be instantly be turned off if Sharon Carter suddenly showed up and it might appear as a measly love triangle. I won't reveal Steve and Sharon's relationship yet but please hang on a little longer. 
> 
> I hate love triangles too. I hope all of you trust me. 
> 
> ON another note, college just fucked me in the ass so like,, im sorry for the late update. The stories is going to pick up the pace in the next chapter and if you're still sticking with me until the end then I'm excited for you guys to read it. 
> 
> Read and review!! Love you guys <3 <3


	16. No Turning Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You want to be back home.” Peggy whispers to him. “But there’s no going back.”

 

Steve settles in the plush white seat. A steaming cup of coffee in hand, he takes a deep breath. He looks out of the window and watches the clouds pass by. In the corner of his eye, he sees movement and there’s a thud. Sharon plops down beside him.

“You know, a girl could learn to love these Stark sponsored flights.” She says as she burrows deeper in the seat. She brought herself a blanket and wrapped herself around it.

“I still can’t get used to being in a plane I’m not supposed to jump out of. Just being on a plane freaks me out sometimes.”

“We get it Steve. You’re old.” Sharon snorts and picks up a magazine. Steve side eyes her, a smirk on his lips.

“Hey, respect your elders.” Sharon laughs and swats him in the shoulder.

“You seem relaxed.” He says. Sharon looks at him then with that familiar sparkle in her eye.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re smiling.”

“So?”

“Haven’t seen you smile in a while.”

“Maybe, it’s because I was in a different part of the country. Next time I smile I’ll take a picture and send it to you.” Steve laughs and goes back to looking at the clouds. The sky was baby blue in the day. Steve wished it was five pm so he could see the different colored hues of sunset this close.

“I haven’t seen you smile in a while, either.” Sharon whispers. Steve ground his teeth and cast his gaze on the carpeted floor.

“It’s complicated.”

“What did you do?”

“I broke her heart.” Steve’s hands curl into a fist. He readies himself for another set of tirades. He puts up his shield. He’s heard enough, from Jane, from Pepper, from everyone. Tony almost blasted his head off. Natasha wrecked him during sparring. Thor didn’t do anything, he just stared at him with utter disappointment. The look Steve thinks is reserved for Loki.

Steve feels a hand on his arm.

“What happened?”

Steve tells her. He tells her of nights spent under stars. He tells her of days spent getting lost in museums. He tells her of the security blanket that came with her legs wrapped around his waist. He tells her of a laugh that rings in his ears in the silent hours of the night. The gaze of mercy that seemed to tame the guilt that wrecked his soul. He tells her of Darcy and the home they built together under a thousand thread blanket and whispered giggles.

He retells how he lost her.

“You fucked up.” Sharon concluded, through bites of popcorn.

"No shit, Sharon."

“So, what are you going to do now?” She asks him, her jaw smeared in butter. Steve handed her a couple of paper towels. He shrugs.

* * *

 

“You’re going to what?” Wanda exclaims. She replied to Darya’s blank face.

“This is what you wanted.” Darya says. Wanda jumps as she hears harsh stretch of tape. Darya seals one of her many boxes.

“Yes, but this…” Wanda shakes the brown envelope in her hands.

“Will keep your brother alive. Now stop complaining and do your mission.” Darya turns and faces her, a giant pair of scissors in hand.

“We planned this. The letters for next month is over there.” She points the scissors to the neatly stacked brown envelopes in the corner of her desk table.

“Yes, I know. I know but… can you really trust them to believe this.”

“Yes. HYDRA just got hit, bad. Especially when they lost you.” She points the scissors at Wanda. She turns and walks to the desk. She opens her laptop and a window pops up, with various forms on display.

“They’re desperate to have some sort of leverage against SHIELD and especially the Avengers. You’d think that they let the Steve take you here because of Intel? That’s bullshit. They panicked that’s what.” Darya starts to type and Wanda watches her. She seemed to be entranced at how Darya manages to create a new identity for herself in under three days.

It all seemed like a blur. It was two am when Darya knocked on her door. Her eyes were red and her breath smelled like alcohol. She told her, she had a plan. Then the gears started to move and Darya was systematic. She was like a machine, cold and calculating. Wanda wouldn’t know how to react. On one moment she was like herself but at a drop of a hat she becomes a totally different person. It was both horrifying and strangely relieving.

“They panicked. The Avengers were advancing on them. You were undergoing trials when Steve and the team attacked right?” Wanda nodded. She rubs her wrists, remembering the cold metal of the machine.

“They could only evacuate Pietro. They even made him fight. You on the other hand. They didn’t have time to secure you and evacuate. So they left you behind, you could even play the victim card just to get on our good graces. Which you did. It’s good luck that the team are made of kind hearted people. They took you in and slowly you assimilated yourself. This is a rash decision on HYDRA’s part but it’s smart all the same. You being told to give them information is just a way for your rescue to be worthwhile until they could find a way to abduct you again.” Darya explained while she typed. Her voice was even and neutral. She sounded like a math teacher explaining a basic equation.

“Still, we need to be careful. The information we’re about to leak could cause a meltdown on an even larger scale on their part.” She presses a key, and her printer whirs to life. It spews paper and quickly Darya collects it. She places it in a folder. She opens a locked drawer and she shoves the documents there. Wanda continues to watch her. Darya stands and she stretches.

“So.” She smiles, her face is softer, more familiar. “where do you want to have lunch? I’m craving Italian.”

* * *

 

 Steve was still fighting the jet lag when he arrives at the threshold of Peggy’s country house. He fixes his button down shirt and bounces on the balls of her feet. Sharon had to grab his hand for him to calm down.

“Steve, she’s not going to shoot you.” She murmurs as she rings the doorbell.

“I haven’t seen her in months. I don’t know….”

“Then you’ll find out. We’re already here.” Steve hears footsteps from inside the house. Steve squared his shoulders and Sharon squeezed his hand. Steve felt himself break a little.

The door opens and a nurse comes out. She had an oblong shaped face and almond eyes. Her heavy set wrinkles were overshadowed by the bright smile she gave them.

“Sharon!” The woman engulfed her in a hug. She presses a kiss on Sharon’s cheek. “She’s been expecting you and Mr. Rogers.” Steve smiled at her and moved after Sharon. Upon entering, Sharon quickly removed her shoes and placed it on the rack.

“Aunt Peg! We’re here.” Sharon announced herself.

“Langga, don’t expect her to reply na. Her voice has been very weak these past few months.” The nurse regarded her. Sharon nodded and kissed her on the cheek. She grabs the nurse’s hand and presses her forehead against it.

“How are you Tita?” she says, the last word sounding weird on her accent.

“I am fine iha.” The nurse replied. “Do you want merienda?” she asks. Her eyes went to Steve and she blushes. “Oh I’m sorry. Do you want a snack? The bread just finished baking.” She smiled again.

“It’s okay. We just ate.” Sharon looks at Steve and notices the huge block of awkward that is him.

“Oh, Felicia this is Steve. Steve this is Felicia. She’s been a family friend for years.” Steve offered his hand and Felicia took it.

“Hello. Hello, are you Sharon’s boyfriend? Hmm?” It was Steve’s turn to blush.

“Uhh….”

“Felicia… He’s just a friend.” Sharon tugs Steve away from Felicia’s prying gaze. They moved forward until they reached the foot of the stairway.

“Go to the kitchen once you’re done iha. I will prepare food.” Felicia’s voice fades as both adults climb the stairs.

“Felicia is well…” Steve starts.

“She’s nosy, I know. I love her, she’s been taking care of the family for years. Dependable and a mother to every one of us.” Sharon smiles. They walk along the small hallway until Sharon stops in front of a pale green door. She spares a glance with Steve. She raises her brow and Steve nods. She knocks on the door and turns the knob.

* * *

 

“Hello?” Darcy speaks in the phone. She hears the droning voice of the lady on the registrar.

“Yes this is Darcy Rebecca Lewis.” Jane glances at her then, she mouths her question and Darcy shrugs her shoulders. Jane stops working and walks towards her desk. Darcy rolls away, just a little, hoping that Jane wouldn’t overhear.

“What do you mean you found a possible kin?” she asks. She stares at Jane with wide eyes. Jane starts slapping her shoulders in excitement. Bruce and Tony both stopped working and are starting to wait in anticipation.

“Yes. Of course. Yes, I’ll visit. Yes, where exactly? Alright. O-oh okay thank you. Thank you very much.” Darcy scribbles on a yellow post it and shoves it directly in her pocket. She puts down the phone and silence fills the room.

“Was that social services?”

“Yes.” Darcy answered, her eyes looking past Jane’s shoulder.

 “So? Darce, what did they tell you?” Tony butt in.

“They, they told me that there was someone. Someone was looking for me, claimed that I was their cousin. I- I don’t know if it’s legit but I have to make sure. I’m going tomorrow.”

“We can find out right now kiddo, just give a name and I’ll just ask JARVIS here-“

“NO!” Darcy shouts and Tony drops the wrench in his hand.

“What? What?”

“No…I don’t… I don’t want you to get involved.”

“Why? Let me help, as my illegitimate daughter, you are entitled to some privilege.” he joked.

“I… this is kind of personal for me and I… I want to do this on my own. Can you do that for me?” She asks to all three scientists in the room.

Jane places her hand on her shoulder. “I’m here if you need anything.”

Bruce nods and smiles her. Darcy’s heart twisted and tears started to pool in her eyes. Tony comes over the desk and gives her a hug. She presses a kiss on the crown of her head.

“No matter what happens Darce, you’re a part of this family.”

“I know, Tony. I know.”

* * *

 

“I know a lot of things that happened between the two of you.” Peggy points a trembling finger between the pair.

“What? Rumors? Me and Steve? Pfft…” Sharon was sitting near the window as Steve sat on the single chair right on Peggy’s bedside. He was still fighting the blush that started to tur his face tomato red.

“It’s fine darling, if I were you, I’d do the same thing.” Peggy laughs and Sharon groans in her hands.

“Although, after what Stark’s son has been telling me, Steve here has a preference for brunettes.” Sharon scoffs and Steve hides his face.

“I can’t remember why I let that doctor let you try that new experimental drug. It seems like you’re sassier than I remember.” Sharon says with a smile on her face.

“It means the drug is working then.” The two girls laugh. Sharon walks around the room to the other side of Peggy’s bed. She presses her red lips on Peggy’s forehead.

“I’ll leave you two alone. Keep it PG 13.” Sharon jokes as she leaves. Both of them laugh until the room is filled with a pregnant silence.

“Peggy. You look better than the last time I saw you.” Steve says. Peggy smiles at him and she raises as trembling hand. She reaches for his face but Steve meets her halfway.

“I’m dying Steve.”

“Peggy…”

“It’s true. Steve. I’m old. I’m tired. The medicine helps me regain my memory but it only helps to some degree.” Steve frowns and covers his face with Peggy’s fingers. “Sometimes, I feel like they only gave me this because they think I still have some secrets I’m willing to take to the grave.” Steve laughs against her thinning skin.

“It’s true but they don’t know that.”

“How am I going to live without you Peg?” Steve asks, tears rolling down his cheek.

“You just live, Steve. You live.” Peggy swipes his tears. “It was hard to go on without you, to say goodbye. But there were so many things to do, a hundred millions things that needed to get done. That made it easier to cope.”

“Steve, you’re going to lose me.” Steve wrapped his hand around hers and he could feel her bones so close to her skin.

“I can’t…Have you ever thought of what could’ve happened?”

“Of course…even thirty years after you went under I find myself wondering. Even if I was already married, I wonder what would’ve happened if I married you instead. It was selfish of me and I was disgusted by myself. In a way, I cheated on my husband. It’s okay, I’ll ask for his forgiveness soon.”

“Peggy. I fucked up.”

"Tell me what happened."

* * *

 "I did what you told me to do."

"And?"

"Nothing else happened."

Darcy reclined and her chair made a small squealing noise. She let out a breath, causing stray hair to fly from her face.

“That’s a relief to hear.”

Wanda nods. Her feet dangles from Darya’s desk and it hits the hard plastic with a resounding thud. It fills the empty laboratory.

“What are we going to do now?” She asks. Darcy rolls her head on her shoulders and wheels over to her computer.

“Wait, I guess. I mean, Chinese food takes a long time to deliver and it depends on which restaurant we choose.” She side eyes Wanda, who in turn nods in agreement.

“So Chinese food, it won’t…fuck me up?”

“Well, it depends on how you take it. If you do it right, you’re insides won’t hate you for it.”

“Slow and steady, Wanda. Slow and steady.” Darcy drifted into a murmur as her face was illuminated by artificial white light. Numbers reflected on her ivory skin.

“What happens if I mess up?”

“Ow!”

“Peggy what was that for?” Steve rubs his nape.

“I can’t believe you let her go. Just like that. 70 years and you’re still as bad with women.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Steve leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s not like I gained any experience while I was frozen solid.”

Peggy laughs and it lifts Steve’s heart.

“Oh Steve. I still won’t take back what I said.”

“I just… I don’t know what I wanted.”

“What do you want?”

“You.”

“I think it’s too late for that. As much as I wanted you, so long ago.” Steve’s jaw ticks and Peggy starts to cough. Her lungs heave and she almost doubles over. Steve stands and the chair falls backward. He takes a glass of water and brings it to her. She takes a sip and settles herself down. Steve tucks Peggy’s hair behind her ear.

“You want to be back home.” Peggy whispers to him. “But there’s no going back.”

Steve sits back down on the chair. The hair behind his neck stood on end.

 “But the good thing is, you have the freedom to find, or even make, a new one. If you haven’t already.”

* * *

 

“I don’t think I could get used to it.” Tony says. “You not being around.” He stands. He waves his hands in the air and spilling whiskey on the carpeted floor.

“You’re like, a barnacle on the side of a ship.”

“Excuse me?!” Jane spat out her wine.

“No wait, wrong metaphor. You’re like…. a parasite.”

“Nope.” Bruce murmured, a warm cup of chocolate right on his desk.

“A virus, the common cold.”

“Try again.” Pepper chimed. Darcy grinned from ear to ear.

They were sitting in the living room. All of them, except for Steve and Natasha. Darcy told them the news. She’s flying to Ohio, she lies. A possible next of kin she’s a little too eager to meet. She’s leaving tomorrow. Her bag is packed and her flight is booked. She tells them she’ll be back after a few days. She’ll tie up loose ends and meet her family. After a week, Darya plans to make the call. She’ll say that she’s needed, her grandmother is dying and she needs to take care of her. Her things will be shipped in a storage unit, hidden. After that, she will be gone.

Darcy swallows the hot chocolate too fast, burning her tongue in the process.

“Ah, I get it. Okay, okay, okay.” Tony takes a deep breath, his chest pumps in exaggeration.

“You’re that one metal gear inside a tiny wrist watch.” He holds his palm in front of Darcy. “Now, stay with me.”

“It’s a tiny gear, stainless steel, buried under precious metals, gold casing, silver hands, leather straps, or what have you. You are there, silently working. I don’t know what it is you do under there but you keep us going. The world may not see you or that you may be outshined by the ornaments above but without you.” Tony points a finger at Darcy. “Without you, the watch will break and everything glittery and precious would be rendered obsolete.”

Tony raises his glass.

“You Darcy Lewis, are indispensable and you are what keeps us…” He gestures to the circle of friends surrounding him. “Going. Without you, I don’t know what’ll happen.”

The others raise their glass and cheers for Darcy. They even voice out their agreement. Wanda too, she raises her cold beer and smiles at Darya.

She looks around her and there is nothing but love on their faces. Clint, Pepper, Sam, Bruce, Tony, and Jane. All raising their perspective drinks in the air, for her.

She stands and raises her mug.

“Hopefully.” Darcy chimes. “What happens is that you won’t burn down the lab.” She clinks her drinks with Tony’s and they all laugh.

* * *

 

“I hope so.” Sharon settles herself on the sofa and stirs her hot mug of tea.

“Me too.” Steve agrees, his sock clad feet facing the fire. There were in Sharon’s apartment in London. They were caught in the rain and the cold was still clinging on to Steve’s bones. Even after they got in and dried off.

“Sharon, how am I ever going to win her back?” Steve asks, his gaze trained at the burning fire.

_“…lying on a bear skin rug in front of a fire, inside a log cabin hidden deep in the woods.”_

Steve grimaces. He tugs the warm coffee closer to his heart. Sharon added a kick of Kahlua but it only made his coffee taste bitter.

“Well, we’re going back tomorrow. Are you ready to face her?” Sharon asks. She tucks her legs from under her. Steve reclines on the chair. He rolls his head to face her and there was nothing but soft eyes and a warm smile. Steve’s heard felt warmer under her comforting gaze.

“No. When have I ever been ready to face anything?”

“C’mon, where’s the Steve who jumps out of planes without a parachute?” She jokes.

“He’s learned to be careful.”

“At least apologize to her. I mean, don’t expect her to take you back after everything you’ve done. If I were her, broken heart included, and, you came knocking on my door pleading to take you back, I’d just slam the door in your face.”

“I’m not expecting it to be easy.”

“And I’m not saying that it’s that impossible either. Apologize to her. Make amends but don’t expect anything.”

“I know.”

“Wanting is not that far off from expecting Steve.”

“I know, Sharon. I know.”

“Then what are you going to do.”

“I don’t know. Make a speech?” Sharon chokes on her drink.

* * *

 

“Speech! Speech! Speech!” The crowd cheers. Darcy sticks out her tongue.

“Nope. I’m not great with speeches. I’m not.”

“Aw, c’mon Darcy! You always have a handy speech for me whenever Thor leaves for Asgard.” Jane shouts.

It was after midnight and three margaritas. Jane started to show the early signs of her tipsiness.

“Yeah, because it has happened far too many times, I memorized it already.”

Jane laughs and drapes herself along Darcy’s shoulders.

“C’mon, it won’t be a while until we could hear your shrill voice nagging us.” Jane pulls on Darcy’s cardigan.

“Fine!” Darcy says, rolling her eyes. She kisses Jane on the crown of her head.

“Yay!” Jane claps her hands.

“Speech! Speech! Speech!” She gets the chant going again.

Darcy takes a stand on the middle of the room and clears her throat.

“Don’t expect waterworks cause I’m not that kind of gal.” She hears Clint snort and she glares at him. Her gaze meets Wanda's, who is tucked under Clint’s side. She curls up next to him and Darcy gives her a sly smile.

“Okay, here it goes.”

* * *

 

Sharon yawns and stretches across the cushion. Her skin gleams under the firelight. She listens to Steve’s soft footfalls. Her sleepy mind wonders how such a big man move so quiet.

“Steve give it a rest. We’ve been through this for a full three hours.”

“But I have to make this perfect.”

“For who? For her or for yourself?” Steve stops pacing. His brows knot together in confusion.

“What?”

She sits up and rubs her temples.

“Look Steve, I’m tired and I have jet lag. I need to rest. We need to rest.”

“I can’t I have to-“

“Steve. Of all the things, this is the one you need to dive in headfirst. Now I’m super drowsy so the stuff coming out of my mouth might be shit advice but let me tell you.” She stands and walks towards Steve. Her hand rests on his shoulder. “Speak from the heart. Apologize. Don’t think. Whatever you feel whenever you dive in headfirst towards danger, feel that. Whatever happens after is up to her.” She squeaks in surprise as Steve engulfs her in his embrace.

“I’m so scared. I already lost her. What if…” He murmurs into her hair. Sharon wraps her arms around him. She takes in his warmth.

“You just have to try.” Her voice is muffled against his skin. “You still have a chance to talk.”

“No, please don’t.” Darcy drapes the covers over Jane. She curls up against Darcy’s side.

“Why not? You’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t know when you’ll be back. If you have anything to say to him, now’s the time.” Jane handed Darcy the phone. Darcy only placed it on the nightstand. She climbs up Jane’s king sized bed and plops down beside her best friend.

“I liked you better when you were less sober.”  Jane pouted at her.

“Stop hurting yourself Darce.” she says her voice, as thick and slow as cough syrup.

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You put yourself in situations where you get yourself hurt. When things get fucked up, you wallow. It keeps going on and on like it’s some sort of fetish. Why do you do that Darce? Why do you fetishize your own sadness?”

Darcy stares at the ceiling. Jarvis, bless his soul, has already dimmed the lights. Darcy grins as she sees the glow in the dark stickers pasted there. Jane wanted it to be accurate the first time around. Darcy was proud that she could find all the constellations.

“I don’t know.” She whispers. Jane replies with a snore. Darcy chuckles to herself and looks at her bestfriend sleeping beside her. Her mouth is open and hair drapes her face in a thin curtain. She tucks it behind Jane’s ear. Jane, snuggles up closer.

“I’m gonna miss you.” She whispers into the night. She kisses Jane’s forehead and Darcy’s eyes starts to droop.

Intangible words drawl out of Darcy’s mouth before the dark drags her into slumber.

* * *

 

“I’m so sorry.” Wanda’s mind repeats again and again, like a mantra. She rubbed her hands clean until they were raw and pink. She showered, just to wash away the scent of Clint’s clothes off her.

There’s a knock on her door. She freezes. She opens her eyes. A slit of light forms until her large eyes are open and aware.  Darya is sleeping over at Jane’s. Who would even want to come here this late? The party’s over.

“Wanda, it’s me.” She hears him say. She gets up, her heart beating frantically against her chest.

“Wha…what do you want?” her voice quivers.

“To talk.” Clint’s voice is a soft purr against the hard wood of her door.

“We don’t need to talk.”

“Yes. Yes we do. Now can you please open the door.” Wanda acquiesces. Her footsteps were slow and vibrations went up her spine as her socks drag on the tiled floor.

She walks to the door and opens it. Clint is wearing a loose purple shirt over gray sweatpants with patterns of a purple dinosaur. His hair has been tousled over and his face smelled like spearmint.

“What do we need to talk about?” Wanda asks, half her body hiding behind the door. Clint walks inside but Wanda stops him.

“Clint.”

“I thought, maybe…” Clint rubs his hand on his nape. “Look, we’re not the only ones who’s going to lose Darcy. You are too.”

“I’m okay with losing Darcy.” Darya’s fake name sounded awkward on Wanda’s tongue.

“Are you sure? Because without her around, you only have me.” Wanda swallows and she closes the door behind her. Clint takes a step back and Wanda blushes at how close they were.

“I’m fine. Really, I am. Steve is nice to me.”

“Steve is nice to everyone. Don’t feel too special.”

“Oh and you’re not the same?” Wanda quirks a brow at him and he smirks. Silence pass between them and Wanda walks away to the living room.

“Wanda, I’m just checking up on you.”

“I don’t need you to.” Wanda starts to fiddle in the kitchen. She grabs anything just to have her hands to have something to do.

“I need to. Please, answer me. For my sake.” Wanda finds a carton of milk and she procures herself a mug.

“Oh can you get me some too?” Clint asks. Wanda rolls her eyes and gets another. She warms the milk and as the pot warms up Clint asks her,

“Will you be okay?”

“I don’t know.” She answers, her eyes glaring at the milk to heat faster.

“You know a watched pot never boils.”

“What?”

“American adage.”

“American what?”

“Never mind.”

The milk froths in the pot and Wanda turns off the heat. She pours milk on both of the mugs and hands one to Clint.

“I worry about you.”

“Why?”

“Because I care.”

“Why?”

“Because I understand.”

“What makes you think…”

“You’re not the only one here that has been forced to do something they don’t want to.”

There is silence. Wanda drinks her milk, but the moment it touches her lips, it’s too hot. She walks to the couch and the cushion dips. She places her milk on the coffee table in front of her. Clint walks and sits beside her. Wanda inches away from him. She wraps her arms around her.

“I have my story and you have yours.” Clint murmurs.

“I’m not telling you mine.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“Then what do you want?”

“For you to trust me.”

“You’re my friend.”

“I don’t believe you.”

 “I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“Wanda look at me.” Wanda keeps a straight gaze. Her mind goes haywire at the feeling of Clint’s touch. With gentleness he stirs her gaze towards him, his fingers on her chin. “Wanda. You can trust me.”

“Why? What could I have possibly done to deserve you?”

“You don’t have to deserve anything. I have the freedom to trust anyone I choose and so do you.”

Wanda breaks of his gaze. She takes her milk now and it slides smoothly down her throat. She gulps it all. She sees Clint do the same.

After, he sighs and plops down the sofa cushions. He raises his legs and places it on Wanda’s lap.

“Oh no, the warm milk has left me weak. I can no longer function.” Clint wails and feigns injury.

“Not funny.” Wanda tries to push his legs off of her but its heavy on her thighs.

“You have to carry me.”

“Of course Clint I would carry you because I am so strong. Why not punch the Hulk while I’m at it?”

“Darcy has rubbed off on you.”

“Good thing or bad thing.”

“Depends. With great power comes with great responsibility.”

“Haha. Now get off me.” Wanda pushes him again but Clint settles himself deeper on the cushions.

“Too weak. You have to carry me with your mind powers.” 

“I might crush you.”

“I have total faith in you.” He buries his head on a pillow.

“That’s one of us.” Clint laughs. He sits up then.

“Alright alright. There.” He raises his legs off of her.

“Do you feel lighter now?”

“Like I lost a hundred pounds.” Clint gasps and clutches his heart in mock surprise.

“How dare you? Are you calling me fat?”

“No. Just heavy.” Wanda cracks a smile and Clint swings his legs and moves to stand up.

“Goodbye, Wanda.” He says with a smile on his face.

“Let me walk you out.” Wanda gets up and together they walk to the elevator. Wanda presses the button for the elevator and they wait in silence.

“All jokes aside, I hope you’ll trust in me.”

“It’s hard to trust someone these days.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

“I am free to choose right?”

“Yup.” He swayed back and forth, standing on the balls of his feet. He looks at her then, waiting for an answer. The elevator doors open and Clint walks inside. He looks back at her again, his eyes a warm welcome.

“Be quick though. It’s a limited time offer.” Wanda laughs.

“I hope I won’t be too late.”

* * *

 

“What do you mean she left?!” Steve was close to shouting. Jane covered her ears with her hands.

“God damn Steve. Girl’s got a hangover.” Steve runs his hands through his face. He looks all over the lab but there was no one except for Jane. Steve looks around for any sign of her but only sees Jane hunkered down and weary.

“Jarvis?” Steve asks the AI.

“I’m sorry to report, Mr. Rogers but Ms. Lewis just left earlier this morning.” Steve looks up at the ceiling

“Why? What happened?” Steve hears Jane groan and his focus shifts back to the tired scientist.

“Steve, find a chair and sit down.” Steve grabs Darcy’s office chair, he sees the abundance of sticky notes all addressed to Jane, stuck on the black monitor. All papers were stacked and processed. Everything was in order. Steve took it as a bad sign.

He takes her chair and drags it over to Jane. He sits and he listens, his heart breaking after every sentence.

“Someone called, said they found her next of kin. She left immediately.”

“When is she coming back?” Jane shrugs.

“Where is she?”

“Ohio, though she didn’t delve into any specifics. Probably didn’t want to get our hopes up. She’s been wanting to find her family for years.” Jane says. She walks to the nearest refrigerator and grabs some ice.

Steve walks and goes to her, checking if it is the fridge safe for humans. Jane chuckles.

Steve takes a few steps back. He watches as Jane gets her ice and goes back to her desk.

“I don’t know when she’ll be back. A week most probably.” Steve clenches his fist. He stares at the floor, and he sees his shoes start to blur.

“I told her to call you. I told her to tell you.” Jane shakes her head. “Let me guess, after your trip to London, you realized some things and wanted to take her back?”

Steve wipes the tears from his face. “I want to apologize for the way I treated her.”

“Ah yes, tossing her aside.”

“I know what I’ve done and I’m trying…I’m trying.”

“To what? So you flied to London to pursue what? A dying dream? Then you realized that you can’t have it so you come back here. Who the fuck do you think you are Rogers? To treat her like she’s a second choice, a backup plan.” Steve wished Jane was shouting at him, he wished that she was angry. But there was nothing but cold indifference in her tone. It made all of her words cut deeper than expected.

“I only ask for her forgiveness and nothing more. I loved her Jane. I still do. I know what I have done. I know that I hurt her and I know that I was being an ass. As much as I want her back, it’s up to her.” He starts to pace towards her.

“If she still wants me then…then I’ll try my god damn best to make up for everything I have done. If she doesn’t… If she doesn’t then…I’ll still do the same.”

“Nice speech Captain but it doesn’t matter anymore. She’s gone.” Tony barges in.

“I know.”

“Hangover?” Tony asks Jane over his shoulder.

“Yup.”

“Told you to stop after that third bottle you downed by yourself.”

“Darcy was the one who told me, you were the one who offered me the fourth.”

“Oh yeah.”

Steve walks away from the banter. He trudges on, his head hung. His shoulders felt heavier. Steve let himself wander. His body moving on instinct, his mind elsewhere. He goes in the elevator and waits for it to descend. Once the doors open his feet leads him towards a familiar path.

* * *

 

“Why are you here?”

Steve shrugs. Wanda steps back and lets him in.

“You busy?” He asks her.

“No.”

“Heard you and Clint are pretty close.”

“Yeah well, he’s one of the three people in this building who like me. One just left, and the other just arrived.”

“Thanks, I feel so special.” Wanda walks to the refrigerator and grabs him a beer.

“I think you need this. Even if it doesn’t work.” Steve accepts and he sits down on the sofa. He looks around and he sees Darcy’s bedroom, door closed and locked. Wanda settles next to him and she turns on the TV. With a press of a button, the screen changes and an array of movies are lined across the screen.

“Why are you here?” Her question fills the silence. Steve nurses the beer in his hand and takes a gulp. His mouth curls as the bitterness hits his tongue.

“Why not?” he says.

“I don’t get visitors.” She says. She moves back to the couch and sits beside him.

“Well, now you do.” She frowns, in the corner of his eye. She stares at him, perplexed.

“I don’t know what happened between you and Dar…” She falters for a millisecond. “With Darcy, so I won’t say anything. But… Darcy, when she was about to leave…”

“Wanda, it’s fine. I don’t need to know.”

“But-“

“Where did we stop last time?”

“We stopped at The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” Steve nodded and he took a swig of his beer.

“What do you want to watch next?”

“There’s this umm… There’s this one movie director Darcy recommended me once. Wes Anderson.”

Wanda presses the buttons and the first movie under that director was a movie called Fantastic Mr. Fox.

“Bright and cheery.” Wanda commented as she sees the solid yellow color choice.

“Perfect. Play it.” Wanda reaches for the remote control but she stops herself.

“Do you really want to do this Steve?” She asks, not facing him. She sees their reflection on the dark screen. Steve sprawled on the couch, his head bent back, staring at the ceiling. His throat bobs up and down. Wanda draws back her hand and pats Steve’s thigh.

“No, but what else am I supposed to do?” Wanda looks at him and sees the tears track down his face. Steve refuses to look at her.

Wanda wonders what happened for them to have this sort of friendship. It all started with him walking in on her watching Titanic. He sat down and watched with her. There was no conversation between them, just the passing of popcorn and soda pop. After Wanda wipes the tears off her face, she chooses another movie. Before pressing play, she looks at Steve. With no sound, he nods. The movie plays and both of them have started a routine. Darya told her she was delighted. She said that she was glad for Steve.

Darya became persistent. She gives them lists of books and movies and anything she could force them to try together.  Wanda doesn’t tell Steve but she assumes he knows. He clings to these little activities. Wanda goes along at first, just to make Darya happy. Then, they started talking. It was a quiet little happy place that she liked going back to. She was nowhere as close to trusting Steve. Yet, he’s a good friend. She could…maybe.

“Train me.” She blurts out. Steve raises his head and looks at her for one long minute.

“What?” Wanda twists her body to face him now. She looks at him in anticipation. Excitement bubbles in her gut and she could hardly contain herself. Thoughts of herself fighting and training filled her mind. She thinks of Darya and of the time she’ll see her again, trained and ready. She’ll be proud of her, she hopes. Wanda thinks of Pietro, and her resolve strengthens knowing that she can protect him. She can save him.

“You heard me.” She says.

“Why?”

“I have powers. I want to hone them.”

“We’re not asking you to fight.”

“I want to.”

“That isn’t an easy decision to make.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Why this? All of a sudden?”

Wanda remembers the conversation. Her words are still ringing in her ears. Her hands cup her cheeks and she pulls her close. Her voice was soft and quiet, a secret.

_Sweetheart, I need you to be brave. I need you to fight. I believe in you._

Darya kissed her forehead and Wanda melted in her arms. She stopped shaking then. Her fear caused her to cry. The sight of Darya finally locking her door and walking to the elevator made everything too real. The uncertainty weighed her heart down until she couldn’t breathe. Darya dropped her bags and went to Wanda. There she whispered her goodbye before she joined Jane in the lobby.

 _I will see you again. When that time comes, be ready. I’m bringing chaos back with me._  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> I'm very sorry for the very late update. Still going through school and I am dying. hahahahhaahahauhuhuhhuhu  
> I really enjoyed writing this chapter. After this, things would get very exciting. So bear with me and I hope this chapter would sustain you until I have the time to post the next one. 
> 
> Great love to my beta <3 thanks for being patient with me. 
> 
> P.S. Please post reviews to feed my soul. Love you <3 <3


	17. On The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is it really that much of a sin? To care for someone other than yourself?”

He hears a ringing. It is muffled, buried under layers of clothing. Steve fishes it out of the pile. It’s the same phone Tony has given him. A large rectangle of a device that confuses him to this day. He slides the button across the screen and presses the phone in his ear.

“Hello?”

“Wanda! I have news.” He hears her nasally voice. He hears teeth chatter and the sounds of buses blasting their horns on the highway.

“Darcy?” Her chatters stop and he hears a whispered ‘fuck’.

“Darcy.” He speaks up again. “Don’t hang up. It’s me, Steve.”

There is silence.

“Steve, where d’you find this?”

“This is Wanda’s. I… She just came from training and she’s in the showers and I could….”

“Wanda’s training?” She asks, there’s this sudden lift in her voice. A slight intonation of piqued interest and a burst of pride.

“Yeah. She asked me to train her. I haven’t touched on anything related to her powers because only God knows what to do with that.”

There is a pause, a pregnant silence that leaves Steve wanting to say something. He doesn’t say anything. He listens to her breathing through her mouth. She is panting and he hears the skid of boots on pavement.

“How is she?” She sounds different. A timbre lower than her usual voice. Steve sits down on a nearby sofa. He ignores the padded footsteps on the other room.

“She’s doing well. The first few weeks were hell. She refused to be examined by a doctor. I mean, I understand. I could relate.”

“I understand.” She says. “How far along is she?” she says in a rush.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what are you teaching her?”

“Self defense, Basic hand to hand. She refuses to hold a gun though.”

“Well, that’s Wanda for you.” There is a small laugh and Steve presses the receiver closer to his ear.

“Darcy, I …”

Steve hears the dial tone and he resists to throw the phone across the room. Steve hears footsteps and he shoves the phone right where he found it. He jumps down on the sofa and grabs the remote control. He turns on the TV and Anderson Cooper is on screen.

“Hey, Steve. What do you want for dinner?” Wanda asks, her hands twisting the towel through her curly hair.

“I don’t know what do you like?” Steve asks. He feels the phone dig behind his hip. It was sandwiched between the cushions and his movements dug it right back up.

“I don’t know…” Wanda trails off. Steve pushes himself back farther on the couch.

“I kind of miss my food. I mean, the food from my country.” Steve flattens his palms on the couch and stands up.

“Well, we’ve got one state of the art kitchen in the common room. We could probably whip something up.” Steve offers. He guides Wanda through the room and into the elevator. Wanda wrings the towel in her hand and droplets of water spill on the tiled floor. She peers at it with an absent mind.

They walk in the almost empty room. Natasha is in one corner, drinking from a flask, a folder tucked in her arms.

“Nat! Haven’t seen you in months. Where have you been?” Steve walks to her but he greets him with a glare. She downs her flask and her lips twist at the taste.

“You don’t want to know.”

* * *

Claire nods her head and takes the medical supplies from her.

“This should be enough for tonight.”

Darya nods and she walks closer to her father lying down on the blood stained bed.

“How you holding up?”

Her father’s blue eyes follow her as she deposits a paper bag filled with groceries on the wooden table on the far left corner of the apartment. She places the frozens inside the mini fridge on the same side as the table and puts a kettle on the stove right next to it.

“Swell.” Bucky grunts out.

“And how about you?” The woman huffs out her breath. She is reclining on a tattered leather lounge chair right next to Bucky. She has her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes are threatening to fall off her head with the amount of times she keeps rolling them.

“Still got nothing out of him.”

“Why are you so interested about me? You’ve got the hots for me or something?” Bucky mutters out and Jessica gasps.

“James.” Darya calls out to him and her father’s name is weird to blurt out loud. He stares at her and she raises her brow. He shuts up.

“I don’t know, maybe I have a right to know what’s going on when I see Darya here lugging a hundred pound you” Jessica wags a finger at Bucky’s face. “Who was also a bleeding mess.”

“We never asked you for anything.” Darya butts in, her hip leaning against the stove, waiting for the water to boil.

“And I don’t like having debts.”

“Then we are even. We don’t owe you anything, not even the truth.” Bucky replies.

“Don’t I deserve a little transparency? Do you even know about the nationwide manhunt the flag waver held for you?” Jessica glares at Bucky. “I know who you are. It’s not that hard to guess.” Her eyes drift down to his metal arm.

“What are you planning?” Darcy asks. Her hand wanders and it finds a knife.

“Nothing. She’s planning nothing.” Claire butts in. “We’re just glad he’s alive.”

“Yeah, well there’s that. You can drop the knife sweetie. I don’t kiss and tell.”

Darya doesn’t let go and Bucky pushes himself to sit up.

“Look… girl.”

“Name’s Jessica for the fifteenth time.”

“Look, Jessica. Do you really want to find out about me and Darya?”

Bucky shifts to left and the moonlight shines on the widowstar on his metal arm. Jessica sees it and she looks back at Darya whose own left arm bears the same mark.

Jessica nods and reclines back to her seat.

“I think I need a drink.”

“Finally, something we have in common.” Bucky lies back down

“Nope! Not for the both of you.” Claire goes to Bucky and sets a little cup of tables on the bedside table. “You need to recover.” she said.

“And you still need to drop me off to the hospital. Or did all of you collectively forgot that I have a life outside of this.” Claire turns back and grabs her belongings. She turns and there’s an expectant look on her face.

Jessica lugs herself off of the chair and stands. She walks across the room and goes to Claire.

“See you later. Maybe not.” She casually says over her shoulder. They both walk out of the apartment and Darya finally let’s go of the knife.

“Wherever you found her, I don’t want to know.” Bucky grumbles to his pillow and tries to get back to sleep.

“Nope. You’ve had your rest. Now get up. I need to change your sheets.” Bucky lolls his head and sits up. The blanket pools at his lap and Darya could see the new scars on his chest added to his already growing collection. She curls her lips downward as she looks at her father’s rigid muscles move under his skin. He groans as he stands, shirtless and pale, towards the chair Jessica sat a few moments ago.

Darya made quick work of the sheets. She folds the blood stained ones and placed them inside a plastic bag, to be burned tomorrow night. She glides her hand over the new sheets and smiles to herself. She immediately plops herself on the bed with a resounding oompf.

“This day has been exhausting.” She says.

“Tell me about it.”  Bucky replies. Darya smiles to herself and her eyes slowly drift back to sleep when Bucky rouses her shoulder with his foot.

“Literally. Tell me about it. I was passed out for most of the day.”

“Well… alright then.”

“I went grocery shopping. We have enough food for three days. And yes, I took into account our respective diets. I need to take in more protein if I want to lose all the flab I gained over the years.” She raises her arms and shakes them. There used to be fat jiggling all over the place but there was next to no, “jigglage” as Darya liked to put it.

“I bought us new sheets and did some recon. More on that later. Oh! I also tried to call Wanda but Steve picked up the phone.” Darya worries her lips in between her teeth. She feels her father’s eyes on her and he sees the leather couch scrunch under his movement. She fixes her eyes on the cracked ceiling and refuses to look at him.

“What does that mean?” His voice was deeper, like the dark hum of an engine revving to start.

“I don’t know. I don’t think Wanda’s compromised. In fact, I don’t think Wanda knows what happened. I’ll find another way to contact her soon.”

“Look Darya, I don’t understand why you’re risking all of this for that girl, Wanda.”

“Why not Dad? I’ve already done the same for you.”

“I’m your father of course you would.”

“Oh, so you’re pulling the father card at me? Well I’m sorry but that move has expired thirty five years ago.” Darya is claws at the bed. Her nails digging in to the sheets. She glares at her father and his hair has suspiciously curtained his face, making him all the more sinister.

“You’re risking everything for this girl.”

“What is there to risk? Papa? My “true” identity? My life? What do I have to lose that she won’t lose as well?”

“You’ve taken this girl under your wing? Because of what? Some narcissistic fantasy of you saving yourself through her?”

“Kindness!” Darya is standing now. She moves her hands around like claws. She runs them through her hair as she takes even breaths.

“How did she find out who you are?” He breaks the silence. “Darya. How did she find out who you are?”

“I was sloppy. It was my fault but she stumbled into my room and found-

“So she just _stumbled_ into your room and found incriminating evidence. Oh dear lord. Darya!”

“Calm the fuck down. I’ve got it handled.”

“So this is handling it? This is why you’ve been doing this. For her to keep your secret?”

“That’s not the only secret she’s keeping. God damn, can you at least let me explain?”

Darya sits down on the edge of the bed. She watches the moonlight, mixed with neon, filter in the cracked windows of their hiding place. Her hands fist on her new sheets.

“Is it really that much of a sin? To care for someone other than yourself?” She asks him. The floorboard creaks and the bed dips. His metal hand is on her shoulder and it is cold.

“I choose to help her, Papa. She is my friend. I don’t have to hide from her.”  Bucky’s other arm wraps around her and she leans back.

“Alright then, tell me what I need to know.” Darya pats Bucky’s metal arm and stands as she grabs the laptop on the desk.

“Her name’s Wanda Maximoff and she’s a mutant.”

“Like your Uncle Logan.”

“Who?” Darya pries her eyes off of her the blaring screen of her laptop. Her glasses slide down the bridge of her nose and she stares up at him. Bucky shakes his head, he looks at the blood stained carpet, his mind off somewhere else.

“Dad.”

“Nothing.”

Darya looks back at her laptop and watches as windows pop up with everything she needed. There is a ping and she opens Facebook.

_Darcy (uwu)…_ Jane messages. Darya smiles and pauses, her fingers inches above the keys.

_I can’t talk right now babe. My cousins are still trying to pry out what I’ve been doing for the past five years. Hahaha… Lying my ass off here. SHIELD should have a brochure for this._ Darya replies.

_Well the people who leave SHIELD often end up dead._ Jane replies.

_Encouraging._ Darya smiles to herself. She sees her father glance at her. _Got to go. Love you. Keep Safe._

Darya closes the window and looks back at her father. Both of their eyes wet and glossy.

“What did you see?” She asks him. His father is clutching on her newly bought sheets. She places the laptop down and takes the hair tie on her wrist. She climbs behind him on the bed and starts braiding his hair. In the silence she says:

“You know, you should be the one braiding my hair.” Bucky leans into her touch and flinches when she pulls too hard.

“Ow!” He swats her hands and Darya giggles. She ties his hard and squats.

“C’mon, what d’you see?” She asks.

“It’s nothing. Just flashes. Claws? I don’t know.” Darya goes back to her laptop and writes down notes.

“That’s new. Have you ever fought beasts before?” Darya asks. Bucky shrugs and Darya types.

“Anyway, what was it you were going to tell me?” Bucky asks, stretching his limbs. Darya continues fidgeting with the laptop.

“The Maximoff siblings were held by HYDRA, experimented on, brainwashed into becoming new superweapons.” Bucky chuckles. Darya smiles ruefully. “Avengers arrived to retrieve the scepter, a magical weapon from Asgard that was lost in the Battle of New York and winded up in HYDRA’s hands. Wanda was sent out to stall them, while the facility evacuated. Wait, both of them were out on the field but Pietro was the one who was able to be evacuated. Wanda was saved by Avengers and Pietro was shipped away with HYDRA. After I found you, I’ve been tracking HYDRA’s movements. I’ve been trying to pinpoint their location for three months.

Now, Wanda, nineteen years old with mind powers and…stuff, she’s safe in the Avenger’s side but they don’t know that she has a brother.”

“Good move.” Bucky butts in. He is standing now, his hands behind his back, looking out of the window. His brows furrow in deep concentration. “For them to know that she has a brother will only further their suspicions of being a worm. She’s still a child, isn’t she?”

“She’s nineteen years old but… yeah.”

“Her brother?”

“Twin actually, and he has the power of super speed. We’re not talking about humans here or supersoldiers. They were born with these abilities but…”

“No mastery of it.” Bucky looks back at her daughter and they meet eyes. She sees the grave uncertainty in his eyes and she couldn’t help but feel the same.

“Wanda’s priority is to save her brother.”

“What will we do when we find him? Also, HYDRA is clearly using Wanda, how?” Bucky is stiff, standing ramrod straight, looking down on the alley below him.

“They’ve contacted her. Told her to be their inside man. They needed updates on Stark’s Research and Development.”

“And?” He asks, his voice has turned cold and Darya’s spine shivers.

“I’ve fabricated notes. Notes that said that the team are working on a new and improved batch of supersoldier serum with Steve’s blood.”

“Fuck.” Bucky whispers. “You’ve got balls.”

“Well, you know where I got them.” She smirks.

“Yeah. Your mother.” Darya begins to frown. She avoids his father’s gaze. She starts fidgeting on her laptop again.

“We have a deadline.” Darya says. “The last notes are supposed to be Jane’s entry. Two months from now, HYDRA would know that SHIELD has perfected the supersoldier serum and are cleared for human experimentation.”

“That would cause them to panic. They’ll retaliate before SHIELD would get the upper hand. They would invoke a battle but first, they would take back Wanda and use her powers against her. They have her brother, they can coerce her to do anything they want for them. Once Wanda is captured, the Avengers would save her. HYDRA would bring them to their own base for a fully-fledged war. What have you done Darya?”

“The best I could, given the circumstances.”

“What’s waiting for them in the other side?” Bucky asks.

“That’s what we’re here to figure out.”

“Where do we go from here?”

* * *

Wanda plops herself on the bed, feeling heavier than she has ever been. She scooches until her head hits the soft pillows. She huffs out the breath and her nose wrinkles as she smells the grease in her breath. Pizza grease smell does not mix well with the beer she drank. They were planning to cook dinner but after a few failed attempts and almost burning down the kitchen in frustration, Steve called for pizza and a few drinks. Now, for the first time, Wanda was tipsy.

“I had fun.” Steve says as he leans against the door frame.

“You’re still here?” Wanda says as she buries herself on her newly washed pillows. “Here to tuck me in daddy?” She giggles. Steve’s face turns red and he holds out his open palm.

“Never call me daddy. Ever.” Wanda only laughs harder. She feels a pain on her stomach and she groans.

“I’m going to get you a bucket before you could puke on the bed.” Steve goes to the closet. He sifts through the stacked boxes and sees a small pail tucked in the corner. He takes it out and sees that Wanda has already slept soundly on the bed. Steve smiles at himself as she sleeps away the drunkenness. Steve walks lightly towards her. He grabs Wanda by the shoulders and lifts her torso. He positions her so that her head lulls to the side. He places the pail on her bedside and sits. He looks at her for a moment, the low light making her glow.

“Too young.” He says to himself. He huffs as he stands and moves to go out of her room. He is at the doorway when he hears a phone ringing. He stops himself short and he looks at Wanda. Half-awake, Wanda fishes the phone out of her pocket and tosses it on the bucket laid out for her. Steve approaches the phone as if it were a bomb. With a steady hand he grabs the phone as it buzzes in his hand. It flashes an unknown number and Steve’s thumb hovers over the screen.

“Do you want to do an initial search of the caller Captain?” JARVIS asks out of the blue.

“No need.” Steve replies as he swipes on the screen and presses the phone on his ear.

“Hello?”

“Steve.” He hears, a soft nasally voice resigned. Darcy. Steve walks out of the room.

“Darcy.” He says in urgency. He walks to the window close by and he is at a loss of words. There is silence and both of them are just breathing into their phones. Steve looks down at he glittering lights over the horizon.

“Don’t hang up.” He says.

“I won’t.” Darcy replies. Steve smiles to himself but he covers his mouth as if it were a secret. There is an uneasy feeling settling onto his stomach. Something isn’t right. He could feel it. A dark cloud of secrecy hangs over him and he doesn’t know if he is comfortable with it or not. Yet he tethers himself to Darcy’s voice, a voice he hasn’t heard for six months.

“How are you?” He says, his voice soft and tender, unsure.

“I’m alright, given the circumstances.” Darcy replies. He hears her shuffle. Then there are footsteps on metal. He couldn’t quite picture Darcy walking on a metal floor.

“How about you?” she asks him.

“I’ve been better.” He hears Darcy chuckle and it lifts his spirits.

“Same here.” Questions pop into Steve’s mind. Where are you? How have you been? Are you alright? Have you healed? Do you still love me?

“I heard…” Steve sits on the couch. “I heard you found your family? That’s pretty awesome.”

“Yeah. I… I flew in and they waited for me in the airport. I guess they couldn’t wait to see me after so long.” There is a strain to her voice.

“Were they what you expected?”

“I didn’t expect anything. Well, I was glad I didn’t come from a family of rednecks.” She laughs but then it dies down.

“How about you? Did you find what you were looking for?” she asks him and Steve hesitates to string the words together.

“I did actually and I was planning to tell you all about it. I… you left before I could say goodbye.”

“That was the point.”

“I …. Darcy, can you…. Let me apologize. Please, just this once and after this, I’ll never bother you again.” Steve hears Darcy sniffle and her breaths become uneven. His heart unravels and he wraps his arm around himself.

“Okay.” Darcy says, her voice small and wet. She lets out a breath and Steve could imagine her holding the phone away from her as she quietly sobs.

“I… there’s nothing I can say to take away the pain that I caused you. And there’s nothing left for me to say but… I’m sorry.” Steve’s voice starts to break and he doesn’t know if it was better for this to happen on the phone. So he doesn’t have to look at Darcy’s face as he begins to crumble. Yet he desperately wants to see her.

“I’m not expecting that everything would be like what it used to be before. I just… I hope that you could forgive me. I’ll be better Darcy. I’ll be better.”

Tears are flowing down Steve’s face and he is holding down a sob. He tries to even his breathing.

“Darcy, I still love you.” She hangs up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! I am still alive! Summer just started for me and HOPEFULLY!! I can finally finish this story by the end of the month(??) who knows. Updates will be regular cause now, I have time :). 
> 
> Also, I must warn you, this was unbeta-ed because I was too excited to share this with you guys. I think it's been a long time coming.   
> Please leave a review. <3


	18. Fatherly Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgive him or not, that is your choice. But above all, forgive yourself.

“How much did you hear?” Darya asks. Her eyes have dried and there is a hollowness in her chest. The cold air bites at her cheeks, freezing the tear tracks that fall down her face. Her father is behind her, a warm presence that’s both comforting and suffocating.

“Enough.” He said, his voice rough.

“Are you mad?” she asks. She looks forward, avoiding that look on his face. She could feel anger, radiating off of him in waves. She should be angry too. Yet, there isn’t any. There’s no emotion at all, just fatigue.

“He made you cry.” He said. Darya grits her teeth. She knows who he’s talking about. She told him, when he was throwing furniture and Darya was saying whatever she could just to make him stay. It was only when he sees tears leak out of the cracks of Darya’s resolve that he showed any sense of vulnerability. He dropped his knife. Darya felt pathetic when his arms finally circled around him in an embrace. She felt disgusted with his pity.

“Yeah, well…” Darya tries to form words but nothing leaves her mouth. She works her lips, forcing them to say anything.

“Darya, I love you.” Her father says and she hunches over, gripping her scalp. He doesn’t touch her and she’s grateful. If she feels his callous hand or his metal fingers, she would scream. “I…have failed you as a father.” She wills her mind to listen. She ignores the ramblings, the memories, the words slung about her telling her that he’s lying. She hears a voice, a voice she hasn’t heard in years and she is stone.

“Darya, Iapochka, please listen to me.” He calls out to her and Darya opens her eyes, not knowing that she was in darkness. “Look at me.” Darya cranes her neck and she looks at her father. The moonlight is awkward on his face. It makes his pale skin look pallid, a result from his blood loss. Her gut wrenches. Remembering the night she found him.

“I hope you’ll tell me about Steve. When your heart is ready, I am willing to listen. No judgment, no pity, only care.” Darya nods and goes back to looking at the street lit emptiness ahead of her.

“How do you forgive?” she asks, not expecting an answer.

“Depends.”

She nods again. She rubs her arms and tuck her legs beneath her.

“Do you think it’s my fault? I mean. If he knew what I’m doing right now, will it outweigh what he’s done to me?” She asks again and she notices the fog in her breath. She stares at the wisps as they disappear into the night.

“Are you expecting an answer, cause sweetheart you gotta tell me what happened.” Bucky said in frustration and Darya smiles. She takes deep breath, closing her eyes. She opens them and she tells him everything.

She looks at him, his face broadcasting different emotions all at once. Darya is amused, seeing anger on his face, then confusion, then anger again, until his face settles down to a deep understanding. He looks serene and Darya hopes she could see him like that often. His eyes are clear and the muscles on his face are relaxed. He looks at her in perfect clarity and Darya wonders the origins of his wisdom. What has he learned after years of unconsciousness?

“I believe you shouldn’t equate what you’ve done to what he has done to you.” Darya looks away then, a frown creasing her face. “What he did to you was wrong but don’t think that it is any way a punishment for what you are doing to him now. Your pain is valid Darya. But, when he discovers the truth, he will face this problem too but that’s until you tell him.” Darya chews on her bottom lip. She finds a mouse squirming through the cracks on the wall and it scurries away. “You have to look at this as an isolated incident, only influenced by his own motives, not the universe conspiring to make you atone for your sins. Forgive him or not, that is your choice. But above all, forgive yourself. You didn’t have a choice.”

“Is this what made you forgive mom?” she asks him in challenge.

“Don’t change the subject.” he says, his voice stern. “And yes, I’ve been thinking a lot during my self-imposed exile.”

“So that’s what you call it.” Darya rolls her eyes.

“Yes. Anyway, looking back. I mean, way back. Your mother tried to do the right thing by you. We tried. We really did. We wanted to give you the life you deserved. I remember watching you fight some nameless blonde on the training mat.” Darya freezes in shock. “You looked so satisfied with yourself after, wiping blood off your hands in triumph. For the first time, I felt fear. I was scared, of what you’ve done, of what you were willing to do just to please us.” Darya bowed her head, her eyes downcast. “I promised myself that I would give you a life that you deserved, outside the killing, the weapons, the blood, and the red. I… We made a mistake… It’s still all a blur but I remember your mother Darya. I remember she fought for you. Why do you blame her for so many things that wasn’t under her control? If we had a choice. If we could’ve given you the life we wanted, we would’ve given it to you.” Darya doesn’t say anything.

“I know you’ve lived with your mother. I know that you have met her even before you remembered her but it’s unfair that you’re holding her up to an impossible standard. This isn’t what you want to hear, especially from me but this is the truth. I’m not going to force you to forgive her. Hell, I won’t speak for her, more than this. You still need to talk to her. I still need to talk to her. Believe me Darya, I have unresolved issues with your mother too.” She looks at him, her cheek resting on her knee.

“Who do I blame?”

“HYDRA. The Red Room. That bastard Ivan.” Bucky says without skipping a beat. It all made sense to her now. Her father’s vendetta. His unrelenting passion to raze HYDRA from where it stands. She should be too but her anger’s been misplaced.

“C’mon, let’s go inside. If you haven’t noticed, it’s freezing.” He pats her shoulder and pulls her up from her seat. It wasn’t until her father mentions it that the freezing wind hits her. She wasn’t protected with only her thin shirt and denim jacket. She walks behind him, her feet noisy against the metal steps. She wonders, of the things he’s done in his absence. If his solitude has given him time to think. It took her this long to realize that he too was under her impossible standards. She laughs at herself now, thinking that she could fix him. Under her constant surveillance, she was just as suffocating. He needed to break away, to think for himself. Darya understands now.

Bucky catches her laughter and he looks back at her, a question written on his face. Darya only smiles and he nods. They walk back in and Darya settles herself on the bed, ready to sleep the exhaustion away.

“I’ll take first watch. Rest, Darya.” Her father says, tucking her in. He kisses her forehead and she trusts herself to close her eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

 

There is a loud banging on their door and Darya puts down her warm cup of coffee. She looks over at her father, lying lazily on the bed. His limbs spread out, tangled on the sheets. She goes to the door, her knife beside her. She looks at the peep hole and sees the black haired spitfire that wouldn’t stop annoying them. She looks up and sees her eye through the whole and mouths to her to let them in. Darya pockets the knife and opens the door.

“Darya I’ve got something you need to see.” Darya takes in Jessica’s wide eyes and her stern expression. She has her camera slung on her neck and Darya wonders where her bottle of whiskey was. She wanted to smirk but Jessica’s no nonsense attitude spoke volumes.

“I’ll go get James.”

In a whirlwind of curses and a grumpy supersoldier trying not to murder Jessica. They were driven to a dingy office. Jessica shoved them into a room that looked like they were transported to an 80s crime drama. Darya looked at the office outside, with two desks and diplomas on the wall.

“Quite a business you have here. Didn’t know you were a notary as well.” Darya’s she blows her breath on the door’s window and starts to draw cartoon penises, smiling to herself.

“I’m not. This isn’t my office.” Jessica started to take pictures and files from folders. She arranges them on the table and Bucky watches her in the corner.

“You know Darya trusts me. Why can’t you?” she asks him, her eyes going over the papers.

“You don’t need my trust.” Bucky said in a gruff voice. Jessica rolls her eyes and repeats his words in a mocking tone.

“Look, Jessica.” Bucky says, obviously riled up.

“Oh great, you finally remembered my name.” Bucky takes in a breath, trying to calm himself down. Darya watches the exchange with amusement. There are at a staring match. Jessica with her quiet frustration and Bucky with his stoic irritation. Jessica would never admit it but her ruby red lips are in a pout and her eyes glare daggers.

“So, you wanted to show us something.” Darya breaks the spell and Jessica shakes her head, her ebony hair framing her ivory face. She’s doll like, her father said to her once. Jessica nods her head to the papers she splayed out on the table. Bucky and Darya go to it and they are assaulted with pictures of factory workers, boxes stacked on top of each other on the factory floor. There is a picture of a man clad in uniform, entering a bar. Darya doesn’t understand.

“This a factory house, what’s new?” Bucky asks her.

“Well if you actually look beyond the surface and stop glaring at it, it’s a cover up. The boxes here.” Jessica points to a picture on the top left corner of the table. “We initially thought that this was a drug den or a warehouse for one of the drug lords we’ve been tracking.”

“We?!” Bucky blurts out and Jessica continues rolling her eyes.

“Look at these boxes. I was there when it was delivered just last night. Here, I enhanced it during post processing.” She points to a box being passed down between a factory worker and its courier. On the wood, Darya could see it.

“HYDRA insignia.” She says and Jessica nods her head in confirmation.

“How did you know about our interests in HYDRA?” Darya asks her. Jessica smiles and crosses her arms around her chest.

“I’ve done enough research to know the Winter Soldier. The metal arm is such a big giveaway. Since he’s still not running towards the Captain’s open arms, I’m guessing you’re still here to settle some vendettas.” She smirks, quirking her shoulder and letting her hair flow in her cockiness. Darya smiles at her, impressed. She looks over her father and he is frowning at her. Darya rolls her eyes.

“Now.” Darya leans down on the plethora of information below her. “What’s in it for you?” Her eyes run across the pictures and files. Her eyes veer off to one particular picture. A bar ransacked after a fight. She picks it up and gives it to her father. He examines it.

“One of them destroyed my friend’s bar. Got too drunk and picked fights. He’s a good fighter, too good for a simple factory worker, if you ask me.” Jessica shrugged her shoulders. “We were doing some reconnaissance the night where the fight happened. I got a call and it’s just a coincidence.”

“Coincidences.” Bucky repeats. "I don't trust coincidences."

“We’ve got a hold of his uniform. Mister Grumpy here can do some undercover work.” Jessica goes to the back of the room and takes something out of a box. It’s a uniform, in a horrific shade of grey.

“Again.” Darya asks. “What’s in it for you?”

Jessica holds up her hands in surrender.

“I just don’t want to have anything to do with HYDRA.”

* * *

 

Wanda walks to the gym, her mind telling her to just take the day off. Her body moves anyway, one foot in front of the other. For the first few weeks of training, she hated it. Her body wasn’t used to this regularly scheduled physical exertion. She would often give Steve half-hearted excuses which he didn’t believe in the slightest. Clint would often butt in and help. Oftentimes she would think that he’s only there just to show off. The two men imparting techniques that she could never learn since they were too busy showing off. One blast of her powers sent the both of them careening over the training mat, landing on their asses. They shut up, shocked at what transpired but after Wanda gave them a stern talking through, they managed to work together to train her.

Wanda would’ve thought that the duo would pamper her but no. The training got even more intense than she thought. When it was time for combat training and hand to hand, they would go to the ring, elevated about three feet high with padded railings. Wanda thinks of Darya and how she was doing. She hasn’t heard from her in weeks. 

In the rare moments she could throw Clint on the floor, her mind goes back to Darya. Wanda has learned enough of Darya to understand that she is dangerous. The extent of her abilities however? Wanda doesn’t know. Yet, from all the rumors she’s heard, Darya was a legend.

Wanda walks in the gym now, mentally preparing herself for what’s to come. But… it’s empty. There is only Natasha kicking rapidly on the sandbag. She notices Wanda and she comes to a slow stop. Natasha eyes her, surveying Wanda’s almost toned body. A smile creeps up her face and Wanda shivers at her stare.

“Steve and Clint are gone doing some recon. No one’s here to train you but me.” She says in challenge. Natasha walks over to her and Wanda gulps in a breath.

“Where do we start?” She asks and Natasha’s smile looks like a Cheshire’s.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> Here's another chapter that immediately takes place after the previous one. It was supposed to be one chapter initially but I wanted to pace myself. Also yay! More Jessica!   
> How much will she contribute to the story?? Who knows?? (I do, of course) 
> 
> Also, tell me what you think about her relationship with Bucky.   
> Have fun and leave a message down at the comments below. 
> 
> P.S. Be ready for the next chapter because there might be an surprise encounter :))


	19. In Motion II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky doesn’t like sitting in the back. He doesn’t have enough leg room and it’s easier for people to ignore him. Darya insisted on driving since she manoeuvres the car through the streets better. Jessica is on the passenger seat, aiming her camera like a well-trained sniper.

Bucky doesn’t like sitting in the back. He doesn’t have enough leg room and it’s easier for people to ignore him. Darya insisted on driving since she manoeuvres the car through the streets better. Jessica is on the passenger seat, aiming her camera like a well-trained sniper.

“I don’t see why you should still be here. We could take care of it.” He grumbled. He balances the few meals of McDonald’s take out which they ordered a few minutes ago.

“My camera…my rules.” Jessica replies, focusing on her subject. She takes a couple of shots and looks back at her camera. Darya peers over at her and Bucky tries to do the same but it is a useless feat when he has quarter pounders balanced on his lap.

She points at the display monitor and hands it over to Darya. His daughter nods and shows him the picture.

“Look at the ID pinned on the shirt pocket. There’s a bar code.” Darya explains. “We need one if we ever want to get in. See the strip of color below it. That tells us what rank he is in, dark brown. I’m guessing he’s a low level worker.”

“Then how did you get those pictures without one of those IDs?” Bucky asks. Darya hands the camera over to Jessica and Darya starts the car. She drives out on to the stretch of the road on the adjacent street going to the next location.

“My friend, the bartender and the owner, he got it off him. It was blue. I was able to infiltrate the grounds and some storage rooms but that’s about it. I saw the main office but we need the red ID card if we want to get in and not get noticed.” Jessica explains, tossing the card on the backseat. Bucky caught it easily. He squints in the dark.

On top of the bar code was a picture of the man, Caucasian, dark hair, and blue eyes. Darya parks the car outside a closed off apartment building and she grabs the meal she ordered. She chews on a burger as Bucky shows her the man on the picture. There is mustard on Darya’s lips as she smiles.

* * *

 

It’s two weeks later and Jessica bursts in the apartment, trailing after Bucky.

“Honey! I’m home.” she announces and Bucky turns on his heel, ready to chastise her when he hears Darya laughing.

“I see you.” She’s on the bed, her computer perched on her lap. She looks at her father, clad in uniform. He has on leather gloves, with fingers now, to hide his metal hand. Jessica plops on the bed with a casual grace. She toes her boots off and settles in, not without raising her flask down her mouth. Bucky takes off his cap and goes to the fridge, taking a carton of chocolate milk.

“How was work?” Darya asks her father and he seats himself on the armchair. He wipes off his milk mustache.

“Dreary and mundane as usual. Also…” Bucky raises an ID with a red strip just under the bar code. Darya jumps out of the bed and grabs at it like a child given a new toy.

“Where did you get this?” she says, clawing it out of her father’s hands. “Also it’s blank!” She exclaims in joy.

“I found the security office where they created IDs for new recruits. Don’t ask me how or why. I smuggled Jessica here while the guards were having breaks.” Darya still looks at the ID, dumbfounded.

“James here has practically memorized the guard’s routine schedule and also manages to earn the trust of the people on the surveillance department.” Jessica explains while drinking her whiskey.

“See, I could be friendly.”

“Really? Haven’t noticed.” Jessica replies and Bucky graces her with a half-smile. She tries to hide it but her ivory cheeks turn rosy pink. She combs her hair in front of her face, and her eyes fall to anything but Bucky’s.

“So what do we do now?” Jessica asks Darya, who was on the table now, her computer plopped beside her.

“Now, we’re going to have some fun.” Darya turns and Jessica sees her grin sweet and sinister.

 

* * *

 

“You know, in times like these, I really miss Stark’s annoying voice.” Clint whispers to Steve’s ears. He jabs him with his elbow. They were supposed to be listening to the scientist explaining to them the possible weapons that could be found on HYDRA’s warehouse. Steve was excited for some activity. His mind was slowly reeling from the slow days where the only action he could get is from Wanda’s random bursts of power. Clint is with him, as usual. Natasha decided to hang back.

Steve was worried for her. She has become more distant lately. Any attempt Steve makes to understand her, she lashes out.

“Yeah but at least, this one would actually take the time to explain the science behind these things.” he replies to Clint, who was tapping on the cement floor of their little hideout.

The space was cramped. They were a team of seven. Nameless agents Steve only remembers by face. At this point, he hasn’t bothered to learn any names in this type of mission. Most of them went undercover and the others would be shuffled onto the next excursion and Steve would probably never see them again.

Maria stands in front of the whiteboard, her face like a marble statue. The harsh light makes her chiseled features even harsher. She slams folders on the table, the only sign of her frustration in her stone cold face.

“One of our own was compromised just a few weeks ago. He woke up in a dumpster with no clothes and no memory.” Maria starts and both men sit on the edge of their seat with rapt attention.

“He’s been undercover in this warehouse the moment we have discovered it. He’s been trying to worm his way to the top but when we realized that wasn’t possible we shifted to reconnaissance work. First, it started out as a basic weapons hold. He’s been reporting standard issued guns smuggled from different countries,  Germany and Russia to name two.

We received intel a few days after the capture of Wanda Maximoff and the recovery mission for the scepter. They’ve shipped in the weapons that we were after during that past mission. They are currently in holding. Our mission now is to infiltrate that warehouse and recover the weapons shipment. I’m issuing a no kill order. Almost all of the workers there are civilians, with no clue whatsoever with what they’re doing and who they’re working for.” Maria gazes out onto the small crowd until she locks eyes with Clint and then to Steve.

“I want you to work with your respective units. More details to follow. Dismissed.” Instantly the people started to shuffle out of the room in silence. Steve and Clint sit quietly at the back, watching the people file out.

Once the last person closes the door, they stand and walk over to Maria.

“I’m guessing there’s more to this mission. I mean, me and Steve are here.” Clint starts and Maria gestures for them to sit.

“No thanks. We’ve been sitting for three hours straight.” Steve says and Maria nods.

“There are more weapons in that warehouse.” Maria starts, hunching over the table. “Our guy found pieces of large materials made out of titanium and steel, casts and molds at least five feet in size. It wouldn’t be anything unusual until he sent in pictures.” Maria starts to display the pictures and Steve’s eyes widen. Laid out on the floor were shells of what looks like to be a mold for an arch. Well, four pieces of it, creating a large circle. There are boxes strewn about, heavily taped and secured.

“I don’t know what to make of this.” Clint said, grabbing pictured and arranging them like a baby with a jigsaw puzzle.

“I’ve heard that HYDRA’s constructing a weapon. Something to do with the Scepter’s powers.” Maria answers.

“The Scepter is already powerful on its own.” Steve says, her brows furrowing.

“Yes but if given the right materials it could amplify its reach…” Clint drifts off, lost in thought. “Is that even possible?” He asks Maria.

“I don’t know. I’m still consulting with Selvig and Foster but as of now, we need to recover those blueprints.” Maria tells them.

“And why weren’t they recovered?” Clint asks her. Maria glares at him, her frustrations written clearly in her eyes.

“I don’t know. We were about to but the next thing I know our inside man was stripped off his clothes and his ID, with no recollection whatsoever. In fact, I’m surprised at how HYDRA is handling a SHIELD agent in their very own factory.”

“What if it’s not HYDRA?” Steve says and all eyes are on him. “What if… What if it wasn’t HYDRA who discovered our agent?”

“What are you talking about Cap?” Clint asks.

“I mean… it’s a long shot but… What if this were works of vigilantes?” He waits for his teammates to laugh at him. But there are only grave faces.

“Cap might be onto something here. I mean, since the Loki fiasco, a bunch of quote en quote ‘superheroes’ started popping up. This could be just one overachieving kid who is in way over his head.”

“Regardless,” Maria speaks up. “We need to get our hands on those blueprints.”

* * *

 

Darya was taking pictures while her father goes around, reading case files. They’ve managed to sneak their way in. Her ID bumping her chest every time she takes a step. She walks to the large window spanning from one side of the room to the other. It overlooks the large expanse of the factory floor. Darya takes a good look at the people below her and with one tug of a string, the blinds crashes down.

They make quick and careful work of the place. She points her camera to a file cabinet and she let it sling over her shoulders. She opens it but there is nothing but logs of the past expenses on utilities and labor.

“There has to be something interesting.” Bucky mumbles under his breath. Darya looks over at him, his head bent over pale yellow folders.

“I don’t know. This place might just be another weapons hold. Let’s take a look at who’s in charge.” Darya sits herself down on the only computer in the room. She inserts her hard drive and once installed, she runs a program. Immediately, it starts to transfer files and opens folders.

Bucky freezes, noticing a shift in the air. Darya squints while examining a folder.

“Dad.” She calls out and Bucky twists, staring at her.

“Yes?” She waves him over and he follows. He leans over her shoulder, his hands on the table.

“Look at this.” Darya clicks and opens a window. She scrolls through the lists. It consisted of plans, blue prints, and 3D models. Darya opens up the images and sees casted molds and handcrafted steel arches.

“I’ve seen those before. It was just shipped out last Thursday.” He walks off and opens a file cabinet, digging through. He fishes out a logbook and goes back to her side. He flips pages until his metal finger points to a row of dates and log entries. Darya hums.

“It’s all the way in northern Canada.” Bucky explains. His eyes squint at the cursive handwriting.

“This is odd.” Darya remarks and his eyes go back to the monitor.

“What’s wrong?”

“The files refuse to be copied. They can only be transferred.” Darya moves her mouse and drags the files to her hard drive. Once transferred, their original window is blank.

“Is that possible?”

“I guess so. I’ve never seen it before until now.” Darya types commands in her program, hoping to work around the restrictions but she is denied every time. She murmurs a curse.

“What do we do?” Darya asks her father.

“We have to decide. If we take those files, that means the next user will know that it’s missing. If we don’t…” Bucky trails off.

“We can’t just leave it here! It’s vital information. This might be connected to Wanda.” Bucky only nods. His brows furrows as the gears in his mind turn. He scratches the scruff of his beard.

“Take it.” Bucky says. “Take it and after, we are leaving New York.” Darya nods, her throat tightening. She drags the files and transfers them to her computer. When it is done, it seemed like an internal clock started clicking for the both of them. They moved faster, more agitated.

Darya pried her hard drive from the computer and Bucky started to rearrange the logbooks and papers to where he found them. Darya’s pocket felt heavier, her hard drive snug against her thigh. She nods to her father and he walks to the door. Darya walks to him when she hears the glass window breaks. They both duck to the ground and Darya looks up her father in shock. She doesn’t meet his eyes however. Darya crawls to him but he is already standing, his gun drawn and cocked. Darya calls out to him but he wouldn’t listen. She hears gunshots and screaming.

“Oh fuck.” She whispers. She stands and there is a glint, a trick of the light. She looks down and sees what broke the glass.

“Dad, stay away from the window!” Darya warns and she runs to him. Bucky raises the blinds and he freezes, meeting eyes with Steve Rogers himself. Darya grabs him by the arm and they fall to the ground

“Dad!” Darya grits her teeth. She shakes him by the shoulders and she sees his eyes. His were tiny black dots swimming in blue. He stares at her, blank and in awe.

“Dad, get it together. We need to move!” She whispers to his ears and he sits up, ramrod straight. They hear rapid footsteps and Bucky scrambles up. Darya follows and she opens the door, checking the hallway. The lights have gone red and the hall is filled with only shouts and shots.

“Follow me.” Darya ordered and her father follows. Darya feels ice creeping into her limbs and her father hunches as he walks. She spares a look behind her. Bucky is hunched over, his hands clutching the gun. His eyes are on her back and he looks up at her. There is glass over his eyes and she knows. She swallows the lump in her throat.

They turn to a corner and Darya leans on the wall, getting her shit together. She looks at her father again and he looks out onto the hallway. He pushes her to the darkest corner, enveloping them in shadow. Guards pass by them, carrying machine guns and their communicators yelling orders at them. He walks ahead, his footsteps light. He looks out. He stares back at her, giving her the once over and his eyebrow cocks. He tips his head to the hall.

“Who am I?” Darya asks, her voice low. Bucky’s brows furrow and his mouth is a thin line.

“Who am I?” Darya repeats. Her panic is a boom, getting louder and louder as each second passes by.

“I don’t think it’s the time for this, Darya.” Darya smiles at him, her shoulders sagging. He smirks and they move forward.  

 

* * *

Natasha is sitting by the bar, her straw idly tracing the rim of her glass. Her toe taps against the counter, creating a small dull sound. She hears his footsteps, heavy and dragging. She frowns. She downs her vodka. The alcohol burns through her throat and she relishes in the warmth in her stomach. The footsteps stop and she feels his presence, a block of heat and muscle.

“Fancy a drink?” she asks him, her eyes glazing over the colorful bottles in Stark’s liquor cabinet. She hears him sigh and he walks to the stool and it dips under his weight.

“They don’t work on me.” He grabs the clear bottle in his large hands. She looks up at him and his eyes are like storm, clouds hovering over his gaze.

 “They don’t work on me either but it still tastes like alcohol.” Natasha smirks at him and he frowns, his jaw clench. They sit together and she watches Steve as he stares bullets at the counter.

“What did you see?” Natasha asks, the silence getting on her nerves. Natasha pries the bottle from his hands and pours herself a drink. She raises the glass to her mouth.

“Bucky.” Natasha chokes.

“What?!” She whirls her head towards him, her red hair like fire in her vision. Steve takes in her expression and he smirks at the shock in her face. He chuckles as he reaches on the other side of the counter and grabs a glass. He pours both of them a drink. Natasha glares at him.

“What do you mean you saw James?” Natasha looks at him and his face is nothing but harsh lines. His eyes look at his drink and he gulps a shot. “Answer me. Steve.”

“We infiltrated a HYDRA warehouse. He was there.” Steve answers, his face puckering at the horrid taste. Natasha’s takes her eyes away from him. Her mouth hangs open and her eyes stare into nothing. She looks back to her last visit and she was sure. He told her. He told her that he was gone.

“Does Maria know?’ Natasha asks, gulping down her alcohol.

“No.” Her eyes shoot back to him. She raises a brow at him, her mouth a thin line.

“Why?”

“I wasn’t sure that it was him.”

“Bullshit.” she tells him, slamming her glass. Natasha stares at him, her eyes reading every line and scanning any emotion written so delicately on his face. He hides it well but she sees it. In his eyes, she sees it. The quiet desperation and the anxiety.

“Do they have him?” he asks her, his voice softer than a whisper. His eyes start to water and Natasha looks away.

“No.” She answers, her voice thick.

“How can you be so sure?” Steve asks.

“I just… know.”

“Wow Natasha. That’s really uplifting.” Steve spins her stool and she faces him. She looks at her fingers, wringing in her lap.

“Can’t you trust me on this?” She says, agitated. Steve moves and a shot glass appears in her line of sight. Her gaze trails to his hands and up his face. He looks at her, in challenge. Natasha takes the alcohol and downs it like water. It burns all the way down to her stomach.

“No. Not with this. I know that you’re looking for him too.” Natasha is silent. She doesn’t let it show but her mind is reeling. She weighs her options in her mind. She thinks of what to say. Her mind often going through her lists of secrets, deciding whether or not to tell him. 

“Tell me what you know.” he takes her out of her reverie.

“Why?”

“Because I God damn deserve to know! In case you forgot, he’s my best friend.” Natasha doesn’t jump at his tone. Nor does she flinch when he slaps the bar. She only stares, quizzically. She wonders if she could be like this. Could she afford to be this open with her emotions?

She thinks of James and “Best friend of Captain America” doesn’t seem to apply to him. Best friend of Steve Rogers, maybe.

“If it means anything…” Natasha drawls. “You’re just like him when he gets frustrated.” Steve is taken aback. His jaw slacks before it curls up and he chuckles.

“Oh yeah?”

“But unlike you, it takes a lot more for him to start getting physical.” Natasha pours herself a drink and Steve looks at his glass, turning it in his fingers.

“He was the more patient one.” Steve says, his smile dying down. “Tell me, what did they do to him?” Natasha looks at him and she shakes her head.

“That’s not my story to tell.” Steve hangs his head.

“I know. I just…”

“It’s fine Steve. I understand.” She places her hand over his. He looks at their hands, both calloused and tired but equally strong.

“Have you forgiven me?” he asks.

“What did you do to me?” Natasha asks back.

“For hurting Darcy.”

“Ah.” Natasha notices her small hands in his. “I’m no longer mad at you if that’s what you think.”

“Well, thanks.” Steve says. He lets go of Natasha’s hand and rakes it through his hair. “Tony thinks that she left because of me.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Haven’t talked to her in a while. Have you?” Natasha asks him.

“Yeah.”

“And?”

Steve shrugs.  Natasha hums. She lets her mind drift off. She doesn’t want to talk about Darcy or her relationship with Steve. There were too many things buzzing in her head. James’ face is one example.

She lets herself wander. How could James be in a HYDRA facility? If he were caught she would know. Ivan would tell her. She could trust Ivan. At least she thinks she can.

James never trusted Ivan. Natasha remembered being irritated by it. Whenever he would talk about it his face would dip and turn sour. He wouldn’t admit it but Natasha could see him pouting. She never understood why. James said that he wanted her. Natasha thought it was absurd. Ivan was like a father to her. James told her that he could see it. He’s jealous of me: James said. Then he would wrap his arm around her waist and pepper her with kisses.

Natasha smiles at the feeling of his lips on her skin.

“The James I know is different.” She says out loud.

“Enlighten me, Natasha.”

“Well, for one, I thought he was Russian. I knew that his accent was off. I’ve never thought of him as James Barnes since DC. When I read your file way back, and saw his picture I didn’t think… but… I never really tried to connect the dots. Didn’t want to anyway. I knew he was already gone. Then he was like a ghost.”

“Was he… Did he act…?”

“Like a normal human being?” Natasha finishes for him. “He did. I mean, we were… I… He…”

“Nat?”

“We were a couple.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” A blush started to creep on both their cheeks. Natasha looks away. Out of the blue, Steve starts to laugh. Natasha looks at him and then rolls her eyes.

“You done?” she asks him. He settles down, his chest falling heavily.

“Yeah.” he replied. “How'd you meet?”

Natasha shrugged.

“We trained together. A lot. We saw each other a lot. Was assigned to similar people. One thing lead to another and we were going on missions together.”

“Did you get caught?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“We thought we were going to be punished but instead they were glad. A pleasant surprise, they said. They made us stay together.”

“That’s suspicious.”

“I know, right? They thought they would make something great out of it. And they did.” Natasha’s jaw tightened and her hands started to curl. Her lips turned sour. “James and I, we knew we had to escape. We had something more important. We had to at least try.”

“Never thought of you as a romantic.”

“I’m not.” Natasha sighs. “We failed. I failed. I was caught and I got my memory wiped. I’m still trying to remember. Bits and pieces taunting me and I’m about to go insane. I need answers.”

“Then help me find Bucky.”

“Alright.”

“Look, I know you probably don’t want to and I know that you would probably deal with this through illegal…what?”

“I said alright. I’ll help you find Bucky.”

“Wow. Uhm…”

“On one condition.”

“What?”

“When we catch him, give me an hour. Just an hour with him, alone. Before you give him to Hill. I need answers and he’s going to give it to me.”

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the homestretch! There are probably three or four chapters left in this baby! UGH OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN PREGNANT FOR TWO YEARS HAHA 
> 
> Since we're almost done with this fic, I would really love to hear from you guys! Your loving support has always been my motivation for finishing this. I haven't worked on a fic as big as this and I'm so proud of us for making it this far!
> 
> Send me some love and reviews. Love you! Muwah! 
> 
> ((also special thanks to my beta))


	20. Burning Bridges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda considers herself lucky, to be one of those people Darya has chosen to love. Who would she be without her? Darya is so in control of herself. She knows what to do in whatever situation. Could Wanda be that dependable? She hopes she could be, for her brother’s sake.

Natasha stares at the man in front of her. He reads his newspaper through bronze tinted glasses. He sips his coffee and Natasha has been tapping her fingers on the table.

“You’re being rude.” He comments, flipping a page.

“You’re not answering my question.” Natasha prods and Ivan sighs, folding his paper and setting it aside. He stirs his coffee and raises it to his lips. He takes a sip and Natasha tries not to clobber him.

“I told you. He’s lost.” Ivan says after swallowing.

“My sources tell me otherwise.” Natasha rejects his offer of croissants. “Stop stalling.” She demands.

“Oh, can’t you just enjoy a quiet brunch in this beautiful café with an old friend. Isn’t this place beautiful?” He says waving his arms around. They were sitting on an outdoor café. Ivan chose this location. A phone call would suffice but no, if Ivan wanted to meet face to face then his will be done.

Ivan has been the oldest friend Natasha has ever had. She’s known him all of her life. He has been her mentor, if she could say it, he was like a father to her. He loves her. As disgusting as it sounds, Natasha has always used that to her advantage. Yet, right now, he’s been incredibly difficult.

“It’s unnecessary. I came here to confirm what I’ve been hearing.” She says, leaning forward. Ivan sighs again and his eyebrows twitch. Natasha notices.

“Well they’re wrong. He’s gone.” Ivan says. He stares down at her, his lip puckering. “Who do you trust more?” Natasha leans back, shaking her head.

“Oh Natalia. I could never understand your drive to pursue a ghost.”

“I need answers.”

“And you think he can give it? I can give you answers, come now. Ask me.”

“No. I need him, Ivan. I thought you understood.”

“I do, my dear. Yet, look at you. You haven’t been sleeping aren’t you? Look at what this search has done to you. You’re opening old wounds.”

“I’m not opening old wounds. I’m opening wounds that I never thought was there.” Natasha says, cringing. She was never good at analogies.

“Why?”

“Because I deserve to know.”

“The truth will only hurt you Natalia.” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“I don’t need you to protect me.”

“But I’ll do it anyway. We were so good together you know? Why can’t it be like that again? Why must you play superhero with all your friends?”

“Not this conversation again.” Ivan always talks about this. He has had this grand plan ever since the fall of the U.S.S.R. He wanted to whisk her away to paradise. Natasha was tempted, she admits to herself. She always refused though. She doesn’t feel right whenever she’s with Ivan. It’s like a lingering gaze at the back of your neck, making you want to turn.

Still, Natasha never believed in paradise.

“We’re old souls. Aren’t you a least bit tired of this endless game? Come with me Natalia. We can go home.”

“Home? What home?” She asks him.

“We can make one, together. Retire with me. We can travel any place you wish. We could finally be free.”

“No, I told you. I’m still needed.”

“Of course you are. They don’t deserve you Natalia. You don’t deserve this Natalia.”

“I know what I deserve. That’s why I’m here, asking you to tell me the truth.”

“And I already did. He is gone. He is lost! Why must you always ask me, incessantly? Do you think finding him can fix the damage he has wrought in your heart? Did you forget what he did to you?! He led you astray! He filled your mind with childish fantasies. He coerced you into leaving, disobeying orders.” Natasha scoffed. Childish fantasies? Astray? Darya deserved more than the Red Room, James knew that. James told her Darya deserved a childhood, the moment he felt her kick in the womb. Natasha looked at his steely blue eyes and if they could ever love someone, they loved their daughter.

“Because we had a child.” she said, through gritted teeth.

“A child he killed!” A pang hits her chest. She closes her eyes. Her memories jarring her head. Kill? James would never hurt Darya. He’ll be rough during training but he was soft on her. He spoiled her, as much as he can allow. Natasha sees in her mind’s eyes, on an empty field in Paris. A warm summer night and Darya was on James’ shoulders grasping the air to catch fireflies.

“No… He …. He loved her.” She says, her tears tracking down her face.

“Love? Natalia, a man like him isn’t capable of loving. He’s a machine. What happened between you two was just a fault in the wiring. We just had to fix him some repairs and he is good as new.”  Natasha grips the edge of the table, her knuckles turning white.

“I don’t believe you.” She stares at him, her frustration making the hair on her arms stand on edge.

“And why is that? Why must I lie to you Natalia? What can I possibly gain from lying to you? I love you. I watched you grow into a beautiful woman right before my eyes. I have saved your life countless of times and you have saved mine. We are bound to each other. I have only wanted what’s best for you.” Natasha shakes her head as Ivan’s words filtered in her mind. Everything was messy and chaotic. A part of her agrees with what Ivan’s saying as if it was some sort of…impulse. Her conscience fights against it, showing evidence that Yakov… James loved her. She was his girl. He loved them.

“No… he couldn’t have killed…”

“What is the last thing you remembered when you came to? I was by your side in that hospital while you recovered. You told me, you and James were fighting. You were running out of money and you offered him the perfect solution. You wanted to work. Don’t you remember?”

“I… yes.” She doesn’t know what to think anymore.

“But he didn’t let you. He didn’t want you to work. Your child was starving and he let her. So you took matters to your own hands. You escaped him, and brought your daughter with you. When he found out, he was in a murderous rampage. Then you blacked out.

I found you Natalia. I brought you to safety. I neutralized the Asset and buried what remained of your daughter. That is what I told you and what I said is the truth.”

“I…” She starts but Ivan talks over her, his voice having an agitated edge to it. She is crouching in her chair and he is leaning over the table. People are silently staring at them.

“Natalia, dear. It’s alright. Shh… If you want to avenge your daughter that’s all right with me but this fellow isn’t worth it.” Ivan shifts. He stands and moves the chair over to her. He places his hand on her head and strokes her hair. She should be comforted but there is nothing but bile in her throat.

“Are you asking me to give up?” she croaks out.

“Yes. Someone else is already looking for him, your colleague is he not? Let him find Yekmenev. Let him dole out the justice you deserve.” Natasha shakes her head. She can’t give up now. She won’t.

She sits straighter and takes his hand from her person. She takes in a breath.

“His name is James Barnes.” She tells him and he curls his fingers. In the corner of her eye, he frowns in disgust. She glare at him and he softens into a smile. Her gut churns.

“Ah, his American name. Isn’t everything a weird coincidence? Russia’s greatest sleeper agent’s an American.” She furrows a brow. His words striking a chord.

“Coincidences…He never liked coincidences.” She murmurs to herself.

James never liked Ivan either. In fact, Ivan has never liked James. He disapproved of their union from the moment he saw James walk in the room. Natasha shakes her head.

“What? My darling.” He asks, his arm draping on the chair.

“Nothing. I… I have to go.” She stands, throwing dollars on the table. She sidesteps around him but before she could leave he speaks up.

“So soon? Look at the sky. It isn’t falling.” he says with a smirk. She turns, her balled fists hiding in her coat pockets.

“It’s about to… I just found out that someone has been lying to me.” She walks away, a fire raging in her heart.

* * *

 

Darya tries to close her suitcase but it just wouldn’t budge. She presses it down and closes the latch but it ends up popping open. Bucky was at the other side of the room, shredding receipts and papers the old fashion way.

“Can’t you just burn it in a dumpster like a real secret agent?” Darya asks, opting to sit on top of her suitcase. Surely, it would work.

“I don’t see the point of you shredding. No one reads receipts.” Jessica pipes up, hovering between the two of them. “A little paranoid aren’t you?”

“Better to be paranoid than paralyzed.” Bucky answers, shredding a loos notebook leaf. Written down is Darya’s weekly grocery list.

“Great. You’re so mentally sound.” Bucky rolls his eyes.

“I’m being cautious.”

“Paranoid.” Jessica says.

“Yes!” Darya shouts.

“See even Darya agrees with me.”

“Done packing!” She says, rubbing her hands. “What are we talking about?” she asks. Jessica sighs into her seat, looking at her nails.

“Nothing in particular.” she says. Darya moves to help her father with the documents. For an hour the three of them sat there in the room. Two were working and the other was quietly watching them. Darya was looking at documents and Bucky was filing or shredding. They would pass documents to each other for a second look. One would nod and it was either file or shred. Jessica groans.

“You guys are so boring when no one points a gun at you.” she complains, her limbs hanging off the chair. Bucky chuckles.

“Believe me, I’m about to shoot myself with all this work.” He says. “I’m more of an action guy, not a filing guy.” he says, kicking a box into a corner.

“Well, it’s easy for you. I had to be an assistant for three years.” Darya says. Jessica perks up.

“Really? In which lifetime?” she asks. Darya stares at her. Her eyes are alert and her mouth curves slightly into a smile.

“Worked with a friend of mine. Was lucky 'cause her locations were random and remote. Good cover.” Darya explains.

“So this must be like breathing air for you?” Bucky asks. He piles the rest of their paper trail on her lap and walks off. Darya pouts but continues on with the work.

“How about you James?” Jessica asks. He was at the small fridge. He was about to chug on a water bottle when he looks at her, quizzically.

“Don’t you know?” he asks. Jessica pauses for a second and realizes. Her mouth closes shut.

“Yeah.” she says, deflating.

“S’alright.”

There is silence again. It’s comfortable but empty, like the dust floating on a sun’s rays.

“So you both are leaving?” Jessica says.

“Yeah.” Darya says. “Out of New York.”

“Out of America probably.” James continues.

“Okay.” Jessica says.

“What? Miss us when we’re gone?” James smirks at her and Jessica rolls her eyes.  “You know.” James starts shoving something inside a box. “I always kept wondering why you keep hovering around us. Your debt has been paid. In fact, we owe you now.” Jessica sighs. She stares at something on the floor, working her lips.

“I…  James. For a while, yeah sure, I owed a debt and I wanted to repay it. For the HYDRA thing, I said I didn’t want any part of it. In the end, I did become a part of it. Why? It was my first time dealing with these kinds of situations. I’m no longer a HYDRA virgin. I’m playing with the big boys now. Surely, you can understand that.

As with the other things, can’t you just assume that your charm won me over and that I genuinely like both of your company. Or that I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart?” James scoffs.

“Whatever.” she fiddles with the loose thread on the worn cushion.

“Do you know what it’s like to have your mind controlled?” She looks up and sees their faces. James stares at his papers, wrinkling under his tight fist. Darya stares at her. Her eyes are wide and then it shifts down to the floor. Her lips are a thin line and she nods. Jessica goes back to fiddling with the thread.

“Well, I do too. I’ve spent a big chunk of my life following orders when I didn’t want to. I literally have no control over myself. I just watched myself do everything he asked. I was a puppet, a doll.

I’m here because I want to. Because I can want for myself, and actually acting on those wants. Can’t you just accept that? I’m here because I want to and actually wanting something is freedom for me.” Two legs stand before her and she drags her eyes to see James, extending his hand to her.

“Oh boohoo James, stop with that pity.” Bucky smiles at her.

“I’m here to say thank you. For all that you’ve done for us. We really appreciate it.” Jessica still leaves him hanging and James is squirming under her gaze.

“Continue. What else do you appreciate me for?” She says smiling up at him.

“Don’t push it Jones.” She laughs and takes his hand.

* * *

 

Wanda is walking along the street, her mind wandering and her feet walking of its own accord. She’s memorized this path back to front. She has taken a page out of Darya’s book. She took note of every street corner, every alley, and any route of escape. It eats her heart out, these…meetings. Fear lodges into her heart and only ebbs away with every step leading to the tower.

He sits on the concrete bench, just like always. He is always the first to arrive and the last one to leave. His face changes every time. Last week he had a full beard and eyes like lead. A month ago he had sandy blonde hair and sharp cheekbones. Wanda knows it’s him every time. She sits beside him and she is assaulted with visions of Pietro, running a treadmill, his hair turning gray from the exertion, his eyes tired and red.

This time, Pietro is sitting alone on his bed. His hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. His bangs curtains his eyes and Wanda could feel the beads of sweat rolling down his hollow cheeks.

“He’s still alive.” He says and Wanda flinches at his voice, deep and raspy. She looks forward. They were at a park for some reason. He looks on at the window shops displaying toys, dresses, and sweet desserts.

“He better be.” She spits at him. He smiles, amused.

“Feisty aren’t we?”

Wanda rolls her eyes and grabs the packet on her inner jacket pocket. She places it on the space between them. She takes out her hand and balls it into a fist, trying to hide her trembling fingers. She hears paper sliding and the man takes it. He flips through the leaves and she sees him nodding his head.

“Satisfied?” she asks, biting the inside of her cheeks.

“Yes.” he says.

 Some days he speaks in clipped and concise sentences on other days, like this one, he likes to play with his food.

“You look nice. Avengers training you?” He asks her and Wanda’s frown deepens.

“Don’t like it when I can fight back?” She risks a glance at him and finds that he is staring at her. He has dark tinted glasses with reflectors and she sees her reflection glaring at her. He stretches his arms and lays it over the bench. He crosses his leg on top of the other.

“No. I like a good messy fight.” he says with a dazzling smile. Wanda’s stomach twist.

“Are we done?’ she asks him. He looks at her from the top to the bottom and she feels like the specimen in Bruce’s lab.

“No.” He says and Wanda’s heart skips a beat. “You see, your friends took something of ours.” he starts. Wanda’s hands hide in her pockets.

“I have nothing to do with it.” She says, her teeth grinding.

“Oh, I know. You have nothing to worry dear. It’s not your fault.” He caresses her arm and her skin crawls. “I just want you to monitor them, alright? They stole very important plans.”

“You want me to steal it back?” She asks. She doesn’t know how she’ll do it though, if it were the case. She’ll have to ask Darya’s help. If she’s still alive. The man laughs and it’s a weird feeling. His laugh is a cackle and it sounds a little too much like sobbing.

“No dear. We couldn’t possibly expect you to pull this off.” He says. Wanda doesn’t take the bait.

“Alright then, can I leave now?”

“Yes.” Wanda stands but he grabs her wrist. She is jarred by the contact. She whips her head at him.

“Be ready.” he says. His smile and his lazy demeanor gone.

“What for?” She asks and he lets go of her and looks away. She stares at him one more time. She refuses the urge to strike him and take him back to the tower. She also resists the urge to read his mind. She hasn’t mastered it yet but she knows that he is counting on it. She could read his mind and he could simply manipulate his thoughts. She’s fallen for it before. She starts walking away. She sees a familiar alley and takes a turn. Once hidden, her façade starts cracking. She lets herself breathe. She wheezes slightly with each step. Her shaking hands go straight to her face. She massages her temples and she jumps when her phone vibrates. She fishes it out of her pocket and reads the text message.

_Skype in 15. Urgent._

Wanda starts running.

* * *

 

“Okay, so when Wanda picks up I need the both of you to be quiet.” Darya warns, with fries in her mouth.

“Yes, Darya. We’ll behave.” Jessica says as she takes her burger.

They were at the car again. Darya was at the passenger seat and her father was at the wheel. She places her laptop in the dashboard. She has the browser on as her father drives around the city. The sun is about to set and the street lights painted them in a lemon and orange hue. On the third ring, Wanda’s face pops up on the monitor.

“Hello – “ Darya starts but Wanda cuts her off.

“It’s been three months.” Wanda starts, her accent thick in anger. Darya opens her mouth but Wanda doesn’t budge. “Three months. No contact, whatsoever. I thought you were dead, but what do I hear? You had a little heart to heart with Steve. Don’t I get a call? Or at least a text?! Hey Wanda I’m still alive how are you? Nothing!”

Darya glares at Jessica, giggling behind the seat.

“Who’s that?” Wanda asks.

“Just a friend.” Darya explains. “Wanda, I’m sorry. I tried calling you but Steve picked up the phone. Which by the way was a huge risk. I’m just glad that he thought I changed my number.”

Wanda’s anger fades into shame.

“How are you?” Darya asks.

“I just came from a delivery.”

Darya’s eyebrows raise to her forehead. “How’d it go?” she asked.

“It went well. It’s the second to the last one by the way. Also, he asked me about stolen plans? He said that Steve stole them but Steve told me there was nothing in that warehouse.” Darya looks at her father and he reflects her hard gaze.

“We have it. Actually, this is why we’re calling you.” Darya adjusts the laptop and includes her father onto the frame.

“Hello Wanda.” Her father greets, waving his metal hand. Wanda’s eyes bug out of her head. She blanches.

“Hello.” She squeaks.

“Wanda, this is my father. Finally found him three months ago. That’s why I wasn’t able to contact you. Sorry about that.” Darya explains. Wanda continues to stare at Bucky, taking a bite of his burger while driving.

“I’m Jessica by the way.” Jessica inserts herself in the shot and Darya rolls her eyes.

“Who?” Wanda looks at Jessica, scrutinizing through the screen.

“I helped close up Bucky’s bullet holes.” she says, drinking her coke.

“Okay. No more extra dialogue. Focus.” Darya says and the two of them resume to eating. “So about those plans…”

* * *

 

Wanda tries not to squirm whenever someone looks at her. She tries not to jump when someone touches her. It’s been a week since her call and she is still on edge. God, how did Darya survive this constant lying?

They were at Stark’s home theater. It was a large room with an even larger screen, taking up most of the wall. The loveseats spread around and on the far edge of the room was a snack bar. The only thing left is a velvet rope and a ticket stand.

“Wanda pass the popcorn.” Stark tells her. She passes the huge copper bucket filled to the brim with caramel flavored goodness. She tries not to look at him. She tries to focus her eyes on the screen but everything felt so…weird. Here she was, enjoying a movie about a boy wizard sitting on a couch with murderers. How swell.

Are the Avengers murderers though? In its basic definition, they have taken lives. On her right was a soldier from World War Two, on her left was a mercenary working for an intelligence agency. On the couch behind them was a God from another planet, his arms are wrapped around the shoulders of a small woman, Jane, she remembers her name. The couch to their left has Bruce, which Wanda learned never to fight, sitting with Stark.

Stark. A spark of anger ignited inside of her, remembering her past. Has he no shame at all? Has he forgotten what he has done?

“You okay Wanda? Your heart is beating a mile a minute.” Clint asks and she looks down at him, resting on her thighs. He’s been real cuddly these past few days. Wanda doesn’t want to admit but she’s quietly relishing every moment of it. She runs her fingers through his short cropped hair.

“I’m alright.” she tells him, the vivid colors on screen playing out on the planes of his face.

“Again, PDA is discouraged during movie night.” Steve says, shoving Skittles in his mouth. He glares at the couple before going back to the screen.

“Don’t mind him Wanda. We can display our affection as much as we want. Steve’s just jealous.” Clint sticks his tongue at Steve.

“What affection?” Wanda asks, riling him up. Clint burrows deeper into her embrace in reply.

“You’re throwing yourself at me like a girl.” Wanda teases him.

“You’re a girl.” Clint replies.

“Great observational skills Clint. I’m impressed.” Steve says and Wanda giggles.

“Hey,” Clint rolls up, his wide eyes staring up at Steve. “Stop interrupting my flirting. Not my fault that you’re a lonely old man.”

“I’m in my 20s. Shut up.” Steve flicks the candy at Clint’s face and it lands perfectly inside his open mouth.

“1920s more like.” Clint says. Wanda giggles and Steve chuckles under his breath.

In the dark Wanda stares at her two friends. How can she lie to them? After her call with Darya everything seemed to be heavier. She couldn’t bear to look at a clock, counting hours before everything comes crashing down.

She looks at Steve and she imagines how heartbroken he will be. His best friend, hiding from him just under his nose. He’s told her of his past. He’s told her of how much he looked for Bucky. She couldn’t believe that she has seen Bucky in the flesh.

Also, James Buchanan Barnes is hot! That jawline and 5 o’clock shadow? Hello, Wanda isn’t blind. She never thought she would see him anytime soon but she’s not complaining. He looked so young. She didn’t know what to expect. She shouldn’t be surprised, Darya was 50 years old and Steve is practically a living artifact. Yet, she was surprised though.

How surprised would Steve be to know that his girlfriend was hiding Bucky from him? Wanda shakes her head. Darya was only doing her best to protect her father. It was overwhelming, to watch Darya be consumed by fierce loyalty. She would do anything for the ones she loved. Everything that she had done has been a testament to that fact.

Wanda considers herself lucky, to be one of those people Darya has chosen to love. Who would she be without her? Darya is so in control of herself. She knows what to do in whatever situation. Could Wanda be that dependable? She hopes she could be, for her brother’s sake.

“Hey, when is Natasha coming home?” Clint asks. Steve shrugs.

“I don’t know. She’s still in Milan. Said that she was meeting someone.”

“Since when does meeting someone last a whole week?” Wanda whispers.

“She’s most probably fighting someone. We never really know where Natasha goes or what she does on her spare time.” Clint replies, his mouth filled with candy. “It’s a shame though, she’s missing out.” Steve nods, his eyes fixing on the screen. He sighs and leans back on the couch, his arm around her shoulders. Wanda rests her head against him and cradles Clint’s head in her lap. She decides that she should just bask in the warmth of her friends while she still has the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope you had a swell weekend!   
> Here's another chapter to satiate you!! 
> 
> Would love to hear from you <3 Leave a review.


	21. This Is It: The Capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She still couldn’t believe that it has come to this. Her hands are shaking in her pockets. Wanda has messaged them. There’s only one missive left. Darya has reached her deadline and she’s hoping that it’s enough.

 

Darya walks to her father, clad on his trademark hoodie and cap combo. She scans the area as she goes. It’s a small park. A patch of green amongst the towering buildings of New York. There are only a few people on a Monday morning and she was glad for it. Only a few stragglers.

She stands at an arm’s length. She is wearing the same attire. A baseball cap and a parka. She doesn’t think that anything more is necessary since all will be revealed.

She still couldn’t believe that it has come to this. Her hands are shaking in her pockets. Wanda has messaged them. There’s only one missive left. Darya has reached her deadline and she’s hoping that it’s enough. It’s been a month since they left New York, shifting through city to city, listening to news for any HYDRA whereabouts. They’ve uncovered enough, enough to share with SHIELD and hopefully help Wanda and her brother.

“You ready?” She hears her father’s whisper.

“As I’ll ever be.”

* * *

 

Steve and Wanda are sparring and she managed to hit a few punches, enough to throw him off balance and he stumbles to the floor. Wanda whoops in victory. She offers her hand and Steve rights himself. They prepare for another round when Sam walks in grabbing a phone that won’t stop ringing.

“Steve! You gotta stop leaving your phone. It’s been ringing for five minutes now.”

The two look at Sam and Steve climbs out of the ring.

“Sorry. Still not used to these.” He takes out his wraps and unlocks his phone. “Oh god.”

“What? What is it?” Wanda climbs down and tries to look over Steve’s shoulders. She gasps as she sees a picture of two figures. A man and a woman. The woman is facing away but the man is staring straight ahead. His hood his down and in the image, she could clearly see the pronounced jaw, the tousled brown hair, and piercing blue eyes, so familiar to her.

“It’s Darcy’s app. It’s Bucky.” Steve shows his phone to Sam and his eyes almost bug out of his head.

“Could it pinpoint it’s location?” Sam asks.

“I’m sending it to Jarvis right now. He’ll inform us while we suit up. Let’s go.” Wanda has only seen this side of Steve only a few times. He’s standing straight, shoulders stiff, and his gait is wide, and he is close to running. Sam and Steve walk out of the room in a rush and Wanda goes to her gym bag and grabs her phone.

* * *

 

“How’s it going?” Bucky asks. Darya nods her head to the side and they walk along the stretch of sidewalk. There’s no use standing there like sitting ducks.

“Jessica uploaded the images ten minutes ago.” There’s a ping and Darya takes out her phone. “Wanda just texted.”

“What did she say?”

“Steve’s been alerted.” She looks up at her father and tries to look for some response. Instead he looks around, already expecting a battalion waiting for them. “I hope he’ll arrive before SHIELD.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’ll be discreet at least.” Her father chuckles.

“Captain America? Yeah that costume is as discreet as I remember, with that red, white, and blue.”

“Captain America didn’t canvass the entire country for you. Steve did.”

“There’s a difference?” Bucky scoffed. They pass through a café shop where a little boy, sitting with his mother, is reading a Captain America comic book. She looks at the TV hanging on a wall, and it shows the Avengers, broadcasting their mission against some large sewer monsters. She glances at a curb and she now notices the fliers and the Avengers photo-ops with Steve and his shield and his broad smile.

“Yeah, there is.”

They cross a road and someone bumps into Darya. She looks back and sees the man, muscular build, short cropped hair, white. He looks down on the ground as he walks and Darya doesn’t know if he’s wearing a translucent ear piece or not.

“Did you see that?”

“Yeah.” Bucky starts to walk faster and Darya keeps up with his pace.

“Calm down. If we start running then we’ll blow it.”

“To who did Jessica send the files? Are you sure that it was secure?”

“Yes.”

They speak in hurried whispers and as Bucky gets agitated, always scanning his surroundings, always changing directions without warning, Darya’s afraid that he has relapsed.

“Are you sure? Maybe SHIELD has picked up on it.”

“Better SHIELD than HYDRA.” Darya says and that was her first mistake. Just then, they see a black SUV with heavily tinted windows drive past them. They walk faster and it seems like the whole park had an influx of muscular white dudes. She searches for Steve and she wonders what’s taking him so long.

They are walking in circles and Bucky notices the man following them, the same man who bumped Darya. Bucky starts to sprint.

“Fuck.” Darya runs after him and then everyone started running. Darya hears a woman shouting but it doesn’t matter. This wasn’t part of the plan. She installed the app. Steve should’ve known the moment Jessica uploaded those pictures. He should’ve been the first to know.

Her father takes a turn into an alleyway and she follows. God, he’s fast when he’s panicked. Darya is able to keep up with him, praising the gods above for the training. He is about to climb a wired fence when Darya grabs him by the jacket and pulls him down. She spins her father around and looks him in the eye. His breathing is ragged and his eyes are rabid.

“Hands up!” Someone shouts and all Darya could think of, was where she could hide her father until he could calm down. She could hear an engine rev, a motorcycle engine. She could feel the heat of a spotlight on her back and her hair tingles on the back of her neck. She knows someone’s pointing a gun at her. She doesn’t let go of her father.

“You are under arrest.” Someone says over a megaphone. It’s a woman, her voice is cold and commanding, Maria.

“It’s SHIELD. Not HYDRA.”

Bucky looks up at her through hooded eyes and his eyes seems to focus better.

“What’s the difference?” he says, his teeth clenched.

“I don’t know.” Darya replies. She lets go of her father and raises both of her arms. Her back is still towards them.

“WE SURRENDER! DON’T SHOOT!” she shouts and slowly, she turns to face them. She squints against the light and she steps aside to show her father, hunched against the gate. The light dims and her vision is fuzzy but she could see his figure. She could just make out his infamous dorito shaped torso.

“Darcy?” he calls out to her. She opens her mouth but she doesn’t know what to say. Her vision starts to normalize and the agents crowd around them. She forces her eyes off of Steve and looks at her father. He’s not fighting back and Darya is thankful. Her father looks at her and he looks at Steve. Darya looks at Steve and she could finally see the fifty shades of hurt and confusion working his face. Steve looks at both of them and Darya wishes he could make the connection. She wishes that he knew, that Bucky was her father. She’s about to blurt it out but she couldn’t force a word. She’s dragged to a container van and she fights her instincts. She doesn’t fight back even though her limbs are twitching. They don’t have any weapons. There’s nothing. Bucky is ushered into a van and before Darya does the same, she catches Steve’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

Then she’s shoved into the van and the doors close. They drive away and Darya closes her eyes. She breathes. One, two, three.

The mask is up. This is it.

* * *

 

Natasha hears Jane storming into the room. She is a hellion of a woman, demanding to be here, demanding to see her friend, demanding to watch her betrayal. Natasha doesn't move from her spot. She crosses her arms, her nails digging into her uniform. Steve does the same. He is stone, chiseled and unmoving. They watch as Maria, her fingers trembling lightly and her gaze jumping in odd intervals. Sitting across from her is Darcy, hands cuffed and her head bent in laughter.

 Jane pushes Thor aside and he lets her. Natasha doesn't see it but she could imagine it. The horror, the confusion, the anger, drawn all over Jane's face. Natasha wishes she could be that emotive but her face is blank. Her mouth is a hard line and her eyes are glass. She watches Darcy as Maria spits questions and she dances around it, gracefully.

 There is a nagging in the back of her mind. She ignores it. She refuses to see it. It is connecting the dots, painting in the image she doesn't want to see. She tucks it back into a vault. This vault never opens, only explodes until Natasha could seal it back again. Natasha closes her eyes, wondering why Darcy was here, of all people. Why would Darcy help James? Why was Darcy even with James? More important, why hasn't James killed Darcy?

 "What is your relationship with James Barnes?" Maria asks and Darcy smiles, a tug on one side of her bruised lip. She shrugs, her hair falling around her like a curtain."I don't kiss and tell." Darcy says and Natasha eyes Steve, his fists turning white.

"Ah, so you have kissed him?" Maria plays along. Darcy's smile turns into a snarl. Her eyes scream her disgust but with one bat of her eyelashes, it is replaced with mischief.

"No." She says, her voice is firm. Natasha thinks this was her only honest answer to date.

"Well then, if I put a bullet in his brain, will you be okay with it?" Maria threatens and Steve takes a step closer to the glass. She could only imagine what was going on in his head. She couldn't even comprehend what is going inside hers.

"Since when was my permission necessary?" Darcy laughs, it is cold and without mirth. In fact it's sad and it pangs Natasha's heart. Her mind starts to nag at her again. Her memories demand attention and she isn't having it. She grits her teeth and watches.

It was Maria's turn to shrug. Darcy laughs again.

"You can't hurt him. He's too important."

"What makes you say that? He's a mere product of his time. He is dispensable."

"And Steve isn't?" Darcy says and Steve pounds on the glass, making everyone jump.

"Oh my…" Darcy says her voice shrill in a melody. "Somebody's upset."

Maria looks at the glass, frustrated. Natasha grabs Steve by the arm and pulls him away. He doesn't move. She tugs his sleeve and he turns his gaze towards her. She tells him to back away without ever uttering a word. He relents and his hand slides off the glass.

"Lewis… We can do this the easy way or the hard way." Maria starts to bargain, frustration rolling off of her. Darcy cocks her shoulder.

"There's no fun in doing things the easy way."

"I'm not here to play games."

"So am I."

"Then tell us the truth."

"No."

"If you won't you will die."

"Oh so you're skipping the torture? That's new." Darcy reclines on her chair. Natasha watches her hands, her wrists turning red from the grip.

"C'mon Maria. Let's have fun. Grab the gun from your holster and point it at my head."

"What is she doing?" Jane hisses, horrified to see Maria, her hands itching to get her gun.

"C'mon Agent Hill. Why so serious?"

Silence passes between them and Natasha is at the edge. She fights herself from blasting the glass and shaking Darcy herself. Her evasiveness is getting on her nerves. She isn't giving anything and the anxiety is wafting over the room like a thick cloud.

Darcy starts to hum a soft melody and Natasha feels like she's been hit in the stomach. She doubles forward, her eyes pinching together. Steve's hands are on her shoulders and she is shaking. The humming fills her mind and burying the scurry of footsteps and orders. She is in darkness but not fully. There is a glow… like a fire, perhaps. She pauses for a moment and she feels a heartbeat followed by steady breathing. She looks down and it's her baby girl staring up at her in quiet appreciation. She wrapped her legs around her hip and her cheek was on her shoulder. There are footsteps and Natasha ought to pounce but her body is warm and heavy. James walks in, he just had a trip to the barber. He saw them, bent down, and pressed a quick kiss on their foreheads. His lips were soft and Natasha felt her eyes closing. She opens them and she is being propped up, Steve behind her cupping her elbows. She turns and Clint is beside her, worried and wrinkled.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I just…" She looks back to the window and she finds Darcy's eyes on her. In an instant, the connection was made. Synapses fire in her brain and her knees buckle. Her mouth is wide open and she lets out a gasp. She doesn’t know what to feel but her lips twitch into a smile, her heart beat once in glee. Steve's arms are around her and he half drags her away but she resists, her eyes not leaving her daughter.

She starts to mumble in Russian. _After all these years… You were hiding in plain sight, my love. My dear. You're alive. You're alive!_

"Natasha." Clint calls her out and she wonders if she looked like a mad woman. For a moment she reigns herself back and she calls out to him.

"Maria… Give me…Give me the comm." Clint walks away and she ignores the concern in everyone's faces. She props herself up, giving Steve a nudge and he gives her space. Natasha's eyes are glued to Darcy, her mind reeling. She's so young. She's supposed to be -

"Oh my god." she mutters to herself and for a moment she might think she would faint. Clint hands her the mic and she presses a button.

"Maria!" She calls and she sees the woman pinch at the earpiece.

"What is it?" She says gritting her teeth. Natasha leans her hand on the glass to steady herself.

"Darya Rebecca Yekmenev. Darya Rebecca Yekmenev." Natasha recites, her gut churning.

"What do you mean? Natasha." Steve calls out to her.

"That's her real name." Everyone stares at her, even Maria.

"How could you possibly -"

 

"She is James' daughter. She is my daughter. She's ours."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> It's been months! How are you guys? I hope you're still sticking with me through this almost three year journey!  
> I'm glad to say that the story is almost ending and I'm so grateful that all of you have been with me all throughout. 
> 
> Again, read and review.   
> How will the team react to this new revelation? Will we finally learn about Darya's past with the Red Room? How about Wanda? Will she be safe now that Darya's back? Will Jane trust Darcy again? Will Darya finally forgive her mother?   
> What do you guys think?
> 
> i love you guys !!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic of Darcy Lewis. I don't really know how to publish things here so forgive me. I already have the next two - three chapters up ready for upload soo get ready. I'm pretty rusty with the character backgrounds so bear with me.


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